I sat up straighter and scooted so close to the edge of the pew that I was in danger of slipping off entirely. I’d been doing exactly what Drew was saying. Because I was moving out of Hope Center, I lived in fear of the future. My head had been filled with scenarios of everything I could do to mess up my life yet again.
I’d been discounting all the tools the center had given me to make a success of my future. I had a job and a place to live and good friends who were willing to guide me along the way.
Yet here I was stewing, stirring up doubts and fears, not trusting myself. With all the stinking thinking that had been going on inside my head, it was like I was about to move into Jurassic Park just before the dinosaurs broke loose.
The rest of Drew’s sermon seemed as if it’d been written just for me. I felt dumbstruck. Just before he finished, it looked like his gaze zoomed to the back of the church and landed squarely on me. I could have been off base, but it seemed that his smile was meant solely for me.
At the end of the service there was more music. Drew left the front of the church and walked down the center aisle, and then stood at the door to shake hands with the congregation as they exited the building.
Because I’d come for a specific purpose, I waited until there were only a few stragglers before I approached him. I watched as he interacted with each person, greeting them by name, shaking their hands and asking pertinent questions.
He really was good at his job, making everyone feel welcome. I wanted him to know that I appreciated everything that he’d done for me. I doubted I’d be able to tell him that. Because of him I’d been given another chance.
All too soon it was my turn. As I approached, Drew recognized me and his face lit up with a warm smile.
“Shay,” he said, taking my hand in both of his. “I see you finally accepted my invitation.”
“Yes.” Color invaded my cheeks. I could feel the heat coming up from my neck.
“It’s good to see you.”
“You, too.” My hand felt warm in his. He held my gaze for an extra-long moment and his smile seemed to cut into me, breaking through my hesitation.
“From what I understand, you’re about to graduate,” he said.
I nodded. “Actually, that’s the reason I’m here.”
“How do you mean?”
He released my hand as if he’d forgotten he was still holding it. I immediately felt the loss of his touch.
All at once I was unsure this was the right thing to do. He was a busy man. A single father, and I was about to ask him…
“Shay,” he said, calling attention away from my thoughts. “What’s going on in that head of yours? From the way you’re frowning I’d guess it’s nothing good. Are you having troubles at the center?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I came to invite you to my graduation. It’s no big deal if you can’t come. I just thought, you know, that because you…well, you know.” I exhaled, convinced I’d made a mess of this invite.
His smile was immediate. “I’d be honored to attend.”
“You would?” As soon as the words escaped my mouth I wanted to pull them back. I’d worked hard on being confident, and the question made me sound weak and vulnerable.
“When is it?”
I was about to tell him when a little girl in pigtails came racing up to him.
“Can we go home now?” she asked, looking up at Drew.
I knew Sarah from the times she’d been at the center. During the summer months Drew’s daughter had accompanied him on Wednesdays when he played basketball with Kevin and the others. Sarah went to the children’s center, where I pitched in when needed. I wondered if she’d remember me. She looked adorable in her Sunday best, with her pretty dress and Mary Jane shoes.
Drew reached down and placed an arm around her shoulder. “Sarah, I want you to meet a friend of mine. Her name is Shay.”
The little girl beamed me an awkward smile. Her front teeth were coming in and she was apparently self-conscious about the big gap in the front of her mouth.
“I know Miss Shay,” Sarah said, smiling up at me.
“You do?”
“From the center. She worked with the kids and she was lots of fun.”
It pleased me that she remembered. “Hello again, Sarah.”
“Hi. The first time we met you told me how much you liked my name, remember?”
“Of course. It’s a pretty name.”
“It’s from the Bible.”
“Is it?” I’d suspected it was from somewhere in the Bible. I wasn’t completely sure where, though. The child probably knew better than me.
“Her name used to be Sari.”
That was something else I didn’t know.
“That happens,” Sarah explained. “God changes the names of people sometimes.”
“Why?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“I don’t know,” she said and looked to her father. “Daddy, why did God change Sarah’s name?”
Drew smiled down at his daughter. “It usually happened when God was about to do something big in their lives. With Sarah it was because she was about to have a baby.”
“Oh.” His daughter readily accepted his explanation.
Drew looked to me. “Shay has invited us to attend her graduation.”
Sarah’s eyes widened. “That sounds important. Do you need a new name?”
The question took me by surprise. “I might,” I said, smiling back at her.
The youngster’s eyes widened with excitement. “Can I help you choose?”
I noticed Drew’s grin. “Sure,” I said.
“Daddy, can we invite Shay to have dinner with us? Please?” she pleaded and grabbed hold of my hand. “That way I can help her choose her new name.”
Automatically I shook my head. “No, no, I can’t.”
Sarah was looking up at her father, her eyes wide and pleading. “If you’re going to choose another name, then this is serious business,” Drew said, directing the comment to me. “It would mean a lot to Sarah if you’d agree to join us.”
Still, I hesitated. “You’re sure?” He didn’t really know me, and it was a leap of faith for him to invite me to meet his family.
“Very sure,” he said.
“Say you will,” Sarah pleaded, tugging my hand as if needing to garner my attention. “Dad puts it in the Crock-Pot,” she explained, and then lowered her voice. “He isn’t a good cook, but he tries.”
“In other words,” Drew joked, “we’re never quite sure what we’re getting, although the Crock-Pot seems to work best for me.”
“You’ll come, won’t you?” Sarah asked, wrapping her arm around mine and tilting her head back to look up at me.
“Okay,” I said. I probably shouldn’t have agreed, but I hated to disappoint Sarah.
The little girl tightened her hand around mine and pulled me along, apparently eager to be on our way. “We live next to the church in the parsonage.”
“Where’s your brother?” Drew asked his daughter.
“He went to the house. I told him it was his turn to set the table.”
Drew shared a look with me. “She’s a little bossy at times,” he said under his breath.
“Am not,” Sarah argued.
Drew ignored her rebuke. “Why don’t you wait here a few minutes and we can all walk over to the house together. I have a couple things to finish up.” Looking my way again, his gaze connected with mine.
“All right.” I remained overwhelmed first by the invitation, and also by Sarah’s easy acceptance of me.
The little girl led me to the door leading out of the church, chattering the entire time. “Did you know my mother died?” she asked.
“I did and I’m sorry.”
“I hardly remember her anymore,” she said sadly. “But she’s looking down from heaven and watching over me. Daddy told me that I can still talk to her if I want but that she won’t be able to answer. Sometimes I go to sleep telling her about school. She always wanted to know that stuff. I wonder if she’s made friends with the angels.”