My beautiful broken man can’t be gone.
CHAPTER 27
MEADOW
Darkness, consume me.
“You need to keep looking, Cobra!” I cry, storming through the club four days later.
I’m sleep stricken, my eyes are burning, and I haven’t eaten in days. I know Axel isn’t gone, and no matter what everyone is telling me, something doesn’t feel right. It’s just not in Beast’s nature to go down that easily, and after finding out what he did to Axel all those years ago, I’m not convinced he’s not doing it again. He’d get off far more by knowing he had Axel, torturing him, while everyone thinks he’s dead.
Cobra glares at me. “Fuck, Meadow, I’m doin’ everything I can. I can’t find Beast. I’m not entirely convinced we ever will.”
“You can’t give up on him, he’s not dead!”
“We saw a damned photo!” he barks, stress consuming him.
“That means nothing, you know that. How can you just walk away so easily?”
He grabs my shoulder, shaking me slightly. “God dammit, Meadow. I’ve not slept trying to find him. Do you think I’ll rest until I at least have his body? Jesus, you’re making out like I don’t fucking care. He’s like my fucking brother.”
His voice cracks on the last word, and my heart sinks. God, I’m being such a bitch. He’s doing everything he can, but there’s only so much they can do without recourses. I step forward, wrapping my arms around his waist. He stiffens, and I’m sure for a moment he won’t hug me, but finally he wraps his arms around me. I hold onto him, needing some comfort. My heart is breaking day by day.
I won’t lose my fight though.
“I’m so sorry, Cobra,” I whisper. “I know you’re hurting too.”
He pulls back, looking down at me with a hard stare. “You gotta let me work this how I need to.”
I nod. “And you have to let me work it how I need to.”
He doesn’t question me, because quite frankly I think he’s gotten so desperate that he needs the reassurance that someone else is out there looking for Axel besides him. I give him a weak nod, and grip the keys to Axel’s SUV. I walk out the front door without another look. There’s only one person who might be able to help me now, and that’s Raide.
The ride over to his office is slow; my mind keeps going to Axel. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about what he’s going through right now. I don’t even want to think of the situation he’s probably in, but I do know I’ll fight, just like the guys, until the day I get a final answer. It’ll be Axel alive – which I believe he is – or it’ll be sighting his body as proof he’s gone. I won’t stop until I get one or the other.
“Meadow,” the receptionist says as I walk through the front door to Raide’s office.
“Is he here?” I whisper, exhausted.
“Yes, let me call him.”
She’s giving me a hard stare; clearly she thinks that I’m having one off with her boss. She has no idea. I hear her whispering something on the phone, and then she hangs up and I see Raide’s office door open. At the sight of him, my eyes burn. I don’t know why. He’s the only hope I’ve got left; he’s the only chance we might have of finding Axel. He walks over, surprising me by taking me in a firm, yet warm hug.
“I’m so sorry, Meadow. We’re doing everything we can.”
“Can we talk, Raide?” I ask, pulling back.
“Of course, come in.”
We head into his office, and I sit on the chair over from him. He looks as exhausted as me, his eyes are heavy and his face is lacking any emotion. I speak before he gets the chance, I don’t want to waste anymore time.
“I don’t think he’s dead,” I say, simply.
Raide looks up at me. “No, I don’t think so either. It’s not the way clubs like Beast’s run.”
“Axel’s guys don’t have enough recourses to be able to find him on their own, but I know you do.”
He sighs, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t have enough information on Beast, without that USB...”
“I have information,” I say.
He raises his brows. I exhale loudly. Axel doesn’t know it, because he came after me so quickly, but when I got to Lady’s house the night he was taken, I looked over the USB drive before giving it back to him. I studied some of the information and locations. I didn’t give them to the boys at the club, because they’ll only get themselves killed going in. I can’t risk Axel like that. I feel safer knowing Raide has it.
“How?” he asks.
“I have seen what’s on the USB.”
His eyes widen. “Meadow, I can’t stress enough how much that information would change this.”
“I can only tell you what I remember,” I point out. “But I remember some locations.”
He nods, and pulls out a pen and paper. “Give me what you can.”
I give him every single thing I remember seeing on that USB. When we’re done, he assures me that he’ll do everything he can to get me the answer I deserve. He knows I need to know. I need closure one way or another. I need to know, more than anything in the world, if Axel is dead or alive.
I need to know if I’ve lost him forever.
TWO MONTHS LATER
MEADOW
Living without you, is like living with no heart, how will I ever know where to start?