“Just get the fuck up.”
She rolls her eyes, and gets to her feet, hobbling toward me. “Bossy,” she mutters, leaning against a table.
“You fuckin’ stupid? You don’t know any of these guys!” I growl, gripping her shoulder, and pulling her out of the room.
“Probably. According to you I’m stupid, a waste of space, a loser...”
“Shut the fuck up, Meadow.”
She snorts, but she moves, and lets me lead her into my room. I slam the door behind us, and turn to her. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Me?” she says, throwing her hands on her hips and pinning me with a determined gaze. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Why the fuck did you go out there and get drunk when your leg is the way it is?”
She shrugs. “Why did you put your hand on my pussy when you apparently hate me so much?”
I smirk at her. “Maybe I just needed to fuck.”
She lashes out, taking hold of the lamp beside her, and yanking it harshly, hurling it at my head. I duck and snarl as it smashes into tiny pieces on my floor.
“What the fuck!”
“You’re a piece of shit, Axel. Why do you have to treat me like this? Like I don’t matter? Like none of this matters? Why come in there, and pull Colt away from me? I’m not yours. I don’t belong to you. I’m nothing to you, isn’t that what you’ve reminded me of so constantly?”
I walk over to her, taking hold of her shoulders and shaking her. “What do you want from me, Meadow?”
“I don’t fucking know,” she cries. “I just want something. I want to be let in, just a tiny bit. I want to know why you hate me so much. I want to know what I did wrong. I want to know how I can fix what’s broken. I want to know what the fuck happened to you to make you this monster? I just want to understand, just a tiny bit. I want so much, I don’t even know where to start, but for some sick, strange reason, more than anything, I want you, Axel.”
I let go of her, and reel backwards.
What did she just say? She wants...me?
No fucking way.
I shake my head, and back up toward the door. “You’re way out of your depth Meadow. You can’t fix something as broken as me, and you sure as shit can’t love it. I’m the meaning of damaged, and you’re not going to put me back together, so stop fuckin’ tryin’. Just stop.”
Then I turn and charge out the door, slamming it so loudly I hear the wood crack.
~*~*~*
MEADOW
He doesn’t speak to me for four days after that. He finds a way to avoid me. Even though I’m still sleeping in his room, I’ve not seen him. He’s been sleeping somewhere else. He’s avoiding me, and I hate him for that. If all this meant nothing, he’d have no reason to avoid me, but he is. I brood on it for too long, and finally I break. It’s on the night of day four, and I’ve had a few drinks with Jax and Colt out at the main bar. I decide I’m tired of being ignored, and I head off to seek him out.
I know he’s here.
My head spins as I walk down the halls, and my judgment is way off. I shouldn’t be having a conversation with Axel when I can’t control what comes out of my mouth. My mind isn’t where it should be, and I know it, yet here I am, walking around like a desperate woman. I plant my hands against the wall as I navigate through the halls looking for him. I’m a little tipsy.
I know Axel well enough to know he won’t be in his room, he’ll be hiding in his office. I stumble as I move toward the end room, the one that has the glow of light underneath the door. I wrap my fingers around the handle when I reach it, and I gently open it. What I see inside that room changes something inside of me, and yet it puts a piece of the puzzle together for me, too.
Axel is standing against the wall. His eyes are closed and his jaw is tight. Miranda is on her knees in front of him, her hands tied behind her back, her mouth moving over his cock. His hands are fisted in her hair, and she’s crying out as he forces her mouth to slide up and down his shaft. She sobs as if she doesn’t want to be doing it, but something tells me that’s not the case.
I stare in fascination at the scene before me. Axel looks traumatized, like the very idea of this bothers him, yet he’s doing it, he’s tied her, and is enjoying her fight. Is that what he dreams about? Tying girls up and forcing them? A sick feeling swells in my stomach, and I begin to tremble. My foggy brain tries to process what I’m seeing in front of me. I step into the room before I can stop myself.
“Is this what you are now?” I whisper, feeling my voice trembling. “A rapist?”
His eyes snap open, and widen when they see me standing there, watching him in horror. He lets Miranda’s hair go, and he shoves her backward. She looks over at me, and her lips are swollen. She smirks, and I feel my own eyes widen. She likes it. She...likes it. I gasp, and cover my mouth, shaking my head from side to side.
“What sort of twisted shit...oh, God...”
Axel takes hold of his jeans, yanking them up before leaning down and untying Miranda’s hands. “Leave,” he orders her.
“You going to let this bitch finish you off? To be honest,” she says, giving me a once over, “I don’t think she’s got it in her to please a man like you.”
“Fuck off, Miranda,” Axel barks.
“Whatever,” she mutters, shoving past me as she leaves the room.