Had she wanted to be loved by a man so much that she had read into him qualities he really did not have? Had she imagined or magnified his feelings for her, or hers for him?
Maybe another time, she thought. It was, after all, the first time he had been intimate with her. Maybe he was not ready to love her, or anyone. Maybe all he wanted from her was all he wanted from any woman. If so, that was not enough for her.
What lingered in her thoughts was disappointment. She had tried putting love in Ken Knowland. He had not responded with the love she was aching for.
But a hope also lingered, that he might develop deeper feelings for her. If she could sense that, there might yet be a future for her with Ken Knowland.
Otherwise, she had lived without love for a long time. She would wait longer for the fulfillment of Paul's promise of the Pegasus.
The next morning, Barbara got a phone call from Leila that first disappointed, then delighted her.
"It's your party with that famous woman flier, not mine," Leila said. "I'm not the right color for a woman, much less a flier."
"Don't say that, Leila!" Barbara protested. "Jackie Cochran said she and the other women fliers want to meet us both."
"She was only being polite. Anyway, I can't go partying. I've been waiting to tell you... I can fly in your air show Sunday. But then I need to do what my doctor tells, 'conserve your energy.' George and I are going to be 'Pa and Ma' pretty soon."
"You're wrong about the 'party,' but your news is wonderful. I had no idea you were expecting!"
"Neither did we. George and I thought we were being careful enough, but guess we were wrong. We're real happy about it, though. But you go ahead to that party. You deserve a good party, after all the work you've done."
"I'd rather not go, without you. We did it together," Barbara reminded her. "And I'll never forget it."
Barbara's thoughts about Ken Knowland were mixed because they involved both romance and business. He was, after all, a very successful businessman, and he was right. She should invest.
Barbara phoned Ken and asked to meet his investment broker. It was arranged for them to meet at his broker's office in Bakers-field at eleven that morning.
"Creditors are used to waiting these days," Ken told her when they met there. "Invest your capital soon as you can."