This was like ripping off a part of my body and tossing it away. I turned to the stands to see Riley standing up. Her gaze was locked on me, and I could see the concern from here. She looked like she was about to bolt down here. The idea of that actually made me smile. Not a big one, but enough to remind me I wasn’t alone. She was there.
“Can you do this?” Coach asked me, bringing me back to the problem at hand.
“I don’t know,” I told him honestly.
He sighed and ran his hand over his almost-bald head. “I can’t play Hunter yet. He’s not ready for this.”
They all needed me. This was on my shoulders. It wasn’t my dad’s dream. It was mine. No one could take my dream or claim it as their own. Riley had taught me that. She was right. I took a deep breath and looked back up at her one more time. I gave her a small nod to let her know I was okay. Then I looked for my mom. My father hadn’t gone back to sit by her. She was watching me too. I gave her the same nod, then turned back to my coach.
“I’m ready.”
He studied me a moment. “Thank God.”
West was waiting for me. He hadn’t come over to us, but I knew he’d been watching carefully.
“Something is seriously fucked-up. You gonna be okay?” he said as I stood beside him.
I shrugged. “I can play now. But no, I doubt I’ll be okay for a long time.”
“This has to do with your dad?”
I just nodded.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
“Yeah, fuck,” I agreed.
Our defense stopped them from scoring and Gunner’s eyes made contact with me. “You good?”
“Enough to win this game,” I told him. Then the three of us jogged out to the field with the others on the offensive line. It was time to score. I had to even the scoreboard before halftime, and I had four minutes and thirty-six seconds to do it in.
“We’re running this play,” I told West, and he nodded. That meant he was up.
With a quick handoff, I gave West the ball, and he took it and made the first down. Just what I needed. One more of those and I’d pass to Gunner. He could run it in.
And that’s exactly what happened.
The crowd cheered just as the last ten seconds ticked away the first half of the game. We had managed to tie it up before halftime.
I glanced up to see Riley’s eyes on me. Just looking at her helped. Knowing she was there. I wanted to look at my mom and check on her, but if my father had taken the seat beside her, it would rattle me. I didn’t want to see him. I had to get my head clear and ready for the last half.
“What the hell did your dad do to piss you off?” Gunner asked as we walked into the field house.
“Shut up. Jesus, Gunner,” West barked at him in disgust.
I wasn’t telling them now. My mother didn’t even know yet, but she would. My father would come clean. Then my family would explode. Nothing was ever going to be the same.
“Let’s focus on winning this game first,” I told him, then walked ahead of both of them and into the field house, with the familiar smell of sweat, deodorant, and the desire to win.
Back Off, Serena
CHAPTER 43
RILEY
One point. The difference between kicking a field goal or going for two. West had taken the ball and gone for two. In that five seconds, I didn’t breathe. I was pretty sure Willa didn’t either. The entire Lawton side was on their feet in silence. Not sure what to expect. It was a gamble. Had they just kicked a field goal, it would have tied the game and gone into overtime. But the moment Brady handed West the ball, an audible gasp went through the stands and everyone was on their feet.
Because if West failed, they lost the game. By one point.
West made it through the other team’s defensive line and the crowd erupted. I actually sank down and let my heart rate slow. That had been a massive gamble that I couldn’t believe they took. But Brady had returned to the field after halftime playing differently. Less methodical and more aggressive. He took several chances. A few didn’t work, but this one did.
The team all piled on top of one another as fireworks went off behind us. They were prepared to win this game. They’d even had fireworks set up. I wondered what they would have done had we lost.
“That was insane,” Willa said, sitting down beside me.
I just nodded.
She shook her head in disbelief. “They’ve never been that risky before.”
She meant Brady had never been that risky before, but she wasn’t going to say it. I understood. She didn’t know what was going on tonight. No one did. But they’d all seen Brady pointing and yelling at his father. Then his dad had walked off the field. I’d heard people whispering about it most of the game.
Willa never asked me or mentioned it, though. I was thankful for that. She seemed to know something was wrong but it was a secret.
“The boys will be a bit in the field house. We can wait until the crowd clears some before we walk down there.”
I wasn’t completely sure I was supposed to wait on Brady. He had his family to deal with now. I knew his mom would have questions.
“The field party will be crazy tonight. Your first one back should be one to remember, at least.”
I hadn’t thought about that. The field party was always after the game.
Going to the field party didn’t seem like something Brady was going to be up for tonight. But then I wasn’t sure what had actually been said on that field, so maybe he wanted to go blow off steam.
“Not sure if I’m supposed to be going. Brady hasn’t mentioned it.”
Willa smirked. “He watched you most of the game. I don’t think he’s planning on going to the field party without you.”
She didn’t understand, and I couldn’t explain it. So I just smiled.
“We can head down that way if you want. The crowd around the door is getting thick. I didn’t think about everyone wanting to congratulate them.”
I stood up. “Okay.”
Brady’s mom was waiting, but his father wasn’t around. I was glad he’d at least left. Brady wouldn’t want to see him when he got out.
“I’d better call my nonna and give her an update on where I am and what we are doing. She probably watched the game on television and already knows we won.”
Willa’s nonna was Ms. Ames. She had been the cook at the Lawton house for as long as I could remember. She made the best chocolate chip cookies. I would always sit and have some with a glass of milk and talk to her in the kitchen when I was dating Gunner.
I watched the door and guys began coming out, but none of them I knew. Younger players who didn’t get much playing time came out and hugged family members or kissed girlfriends.
“Why are you here?” Serena’s voice was laced with hate.
I didn’t look her way. “Waiting on someone.”
“You’re sitting with Gunner’s girlfriend. You’re probably the reason they struggled out there tonight. Just because Willa is too dumb to know who you are, Gunner knows. You need to leave. No one wants you here, slut.”
I found it ironic that Serena would call anyone a slut. Even more so that it was me, a girl who had sex once in her life, and that had been against my wishes. My screaming and clawing and crying for him to stop had made that clear enough.
But this was what I should have expected. This was what they all thought of me, and walking into it was asking for this. I had to be tough and take it or continue to hide. I was done hiding. I was ready to be tough.
“I’m sorry, I forgot to call you and ask you permission to come tonight. Must have slipped my mind,” I replied to her, and again I didn’t look her way.
“Back off, Serena,” Willa said, stepping between us.
Serena laughed. “You do know who this is you’re all buddy-buddy with? Right? Gunner hates her. She ruined his family.”
Willa rolled her eyes. “She didn’t ruin his family. Jeez, get your story straight. And yes, I know who she is and what she was falsely accused of. No one asked you to come over here. Go talk to someone who likes you.”
Willa turned to me. “Ignore her. I always do.”
I really liked Willa Ames.