Shit. I didn’t need to love her. Not now.
On the drive home, the words I love you played over and over in my head, keeping me distracted until I pulled in behind my father’s truck. He was here. Lights were on downstairs.
I had left Maggie at the field with West, so it would just be us. With the truth.
Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself and headed inside. Each step I took was heavy, full of dread. The dread grew to fury, and by the time I opened the door I wanted nothing more than to see my father walk out of our lives and never come back.
I heard their voices, and although there wasn’t screaming or crying there was a heaviness to the tone. I followed the sound and found them in the kitchen sitting across from each other at the wooden farm table.
My mother’s eyes were bloodshot from tears that were now dried. She looked stronger than I had expected. Did she know the truth?
“Does she know?” I asked him point-blank, not giving him room to lie.
He could barely look at me. “Yes.”
I walked over to her and slid an arm around her shoulders. She reached up and patted my hand. “We need to talk with you,” she said, “about how we are going to proceed from here.”
This was it. The moment where this family changed. Forever. The sick knot in my stomach returned, and I realized that as angry as I was, this wasn’t what I really wanted either. I wanted the man I’d thought my dad was to be that man.
I sat down at a chair closest to Mom and turned my attention to my dad. I wanted him to talk. This was his disaster. She shouldn’t be the one explaining anything to me.
“What you saw was a mistake . . . ,” he began.
I wasn’t about to let the bastard lie.
“You accidentally had your pants down and a naked woman on your office table?” I asked with disgust.
He winced and glanced at my mother. “That’s not what I meant. Miranda and I have been working together a lot over the past year. Things got carried away. In marriage sometimes people go through rough patches and it opens the door for this to happen. I made a mistake by allowing it to happen. I was weak and I will never forgive myself for hurting your mother . . . or you.”
I let out a hard laugh full of hate. “Jesus, that’s the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever heard. Your life wasn’t rough. She does everything for you. She is what makes this house a home. Her!” I yelled, pointing at my mother. “She’s why I’m who I am. Her. All because of her. So this rough patch is your excuse to stick your dick wherever you want.”
“Brady.” Mom’s voice broke, but I could hear the pleading there asking me to stop.
My father sighed and looked at my mother, then back at me. “I’m moving out. You, your mom, and Maggie will stay here, I’ll keep the bills paid, and we will decide in the coming weeks where we are going to go next.”
“I’m filing for divorce, Boone. I’ve already told you that,” my mother said, her voice harder than I’d thought it would be.
He looked defeated, and I wanted him to look torn apart like I felt, like she felt. Defeat wasn’t enough. He needed to feel agony.
“Whatever you want,” he finally said.
Mom stood up. “I’m going to my room. You have everything you need out of there, I assume,” she said without looking at my father.
“Yes.”
She bent down and kissed the top of my head. “Good night,” she whispered, then walked out.
My father didn’t make a move to leave, so I turned to him. “I’ll never forgive you. I hope you die a lonely old man with so much regret and sorrow you can’t find happiness. Not even in death. You tore us apart, but we will be okay. You won’t. You’ll never be okay again.” I stood up. “Don’t come to my games. Don’t come to my practices. Stay away from me. I want nothing to do with you. Enjoy the blond bitch and know she’s all you’ve got. That’s if she leaves her husband.”
That was it. I couldn’t say more. My chest hurt so bad it made it difficult to breathe. I walked out of the kitchen and to my bedroom. I didn’t move until I heard the front door close. I walked to the window and watched him toss a duffel bag in his truck, then drive away.
My memories of the life we had lived as a family were no longer comforting. I didn’t want to remember anything that man was a part of. It was almost as if my identity had been taken from me. Who I was compared to who I am now.
I sat down and pulled my cell phone from my pocket.
It’s done. He’s gone, I texted Riley.
Just saying it felt unreal. Like this was a nightmare I’d wake up from soon.
I’m sorry was her response.
So was I. So was I.
Change Is Still Coming
CHAPTER 47
RILEY
I picked up the phone several times to text Brady and check on him. But each time there was no text from him, so I set my phone down and gave him the space he needed. They had a lot to deal with today. I just wished I knew how to help them. But there was nothing I could do.
Mom didn’t work today, so I took Bryony and we went to the park, then to the grocery store for her. While Bryony napped, I focused on schoolwork. By the time dinner came and I still hadn’t heard from Brady, I was concerned.
“You seem distracted,” Mom said over the table.
Bryony was eating her noodles and chicken with her fingers, and I had been watching her, my mind somewhere else. I turned back to my food and realized I hadn’t eaten anything. “Yeah. Brady’s dealing with some family stuff,” I explained the only way that I could.
“What’s going on?”
I sighed, lifting my eyes to meet her gaze. “I can’t tell you.” I wish I could, though. I needed her advice right now. She would know what I should do.
Mom nodded as if understanding my situation and didn’t push me for more. “You haven’t talked to him today?”
I shook my head. I knew he had to focus on his family, but I just wanted to know he was okay. If that was even a possibility.
“That game last night caught some footage of him having words with his dad. They cut from the scan fast, but there was a glimpse. The conversation seemed heated.”
I had wondered if the television had seen that. If so, this news was going to come out soon with this gossip to go behind it. “Yeah” was all I said.
“You can’t help unless you’re asked. Just be there when he needs you.”
That was what I was trying to do. But it was hard when you heard nothing from him.
“Chick-chick!” Bryony yelled and slapped her tray.
“Looks like someone was hungry,” Mom said, reaching over to put more chicken on Bryony’s tray.
“Say thank you,” I reminded her.
“Tank ooo,” she said, then began shoveling the chicken in her mouth.
“She must have played hard at the park,” Mom said, smiling as she watched her.
“Oh yes. Always.”
We ate a little more in silence. Dad was working on the car and said he’d come eat once he had it fixed. Grandmamma was taking a nap. So it was just us three.
“Grandmamma has a doctor’s appointment on Monday. I’ll stay home and take her. That should give you extra time to do schoolwork.”
“I’m ahead already. At this rate I’ll graduate by March.”
Mom took a sip of her sweet tea. “You still planning on getting you and Bryony a place of your own somewhere? Or do you think y’all might stay here now that Lawton is accepting you?”
I didn’t know. Not anymore.
Leaving here had been all I could think about. Now I wasn’t so sure. Brady had changed that. Yes, he’d be leaving soon, but he had managed to make this place feel like home again. Maybe not completely, but enough.
“I’m not sure yet,” I told her. “I didn’t expect things to take the turn they did. Gunner talked to me last night. He was nice. Friendly. West was there too, and it was almost if I hadn’t left. Except we have all changed. For the better.”
Mom smiled. “Age will do that to you. Change is still coming. This is just the beginning.”
I was good with the change so far. But change was always scary. The future wasn’t always exciting.