Usually when you cry, you’re overwhelmed with emotion, whether it be sadness or anger. When I cry, I feel empty and numb.
I lay down on my stomach on the soft purple rug and closed my eyes. I focused on all the accomplishments I had made since my birthday a few weeks ago. I was no longer a vampire and I’m attending Sage Sanctum like my mother had always wanted. Those milestones made me feel better, but not enough to pull myself out of the dark hole I had dug for myself. When depression hit me I tried hard to fight back with positive thoughts but when I feel like this, those thoughts aren't so positive.
Beep, Beep. I lifted my head towards the alarm clock, it was time for dinner.
I walked into my bathroom to check my hair and clothes. Sure enough, my eyes were red and blood shot, my hair was tangled and my clothes were a little dirty from being at the pond.
Even though it was compulsory to attend every meal, I wasn't in a rush to get to dinner. I heard the dorm lady a few doors down telling the other girls to get to dinner. When my door opened, I hid in the bathroom quietly. Thankfully, she shut the door. I decided to shower and change clothes before I went down. I didn't want people to know I’d been crying all afternoon. Once my hair was brushed and I applied minimal make up I exited the bathroom.
Dinner was supposed to be 'classier' than the other meals, so the student body had to dress nicely. I threw on a stylish white and black track suit. I wasn't in the mood for being classy, only casual. I threw on a pair of runners and headed over to the dining hall.
As the air hit my face when I left the girls dorms, I felt better and a lot happier; that was, until I saw Raina and her crew. I rolled my eyes and sighed as they stood in their ugly patterned fifties style dresses and snickered at me.
“Are you going to chase and kill the food yourself?” Raina sneered.
I kept walking, ignoring her ridiculous comment.
“It’s dinner time, not track time,” called one of her friends.
I cringed at the horribly thought out insults, was I really supposed to be offended by that?
“Just make sure Mr Farley gets his curtains back when you’re finished with them,” I called behind me.
Mr Farley, our Botany teacher, had these ugly curtains in his classroom. Everyone groaned in pain every time they entered his room and saw them. I smiled as they stood around comforting each other, saying, “They look nothing like his curtains, don't worry, she’s just jealous.”
“Self-obsessed Barbie dolls,” I scoffed to myself. I entered the hall and searched for Mila. I found Eli sitting at the teachers’ table chatting to Mr Aleksandrov, and I spotted Hunter smiling and talking to a beautiful red haired girl. I guess I was having dinner alone. I found an empty section at the end of a table; the kitchen steward placed grilled fish and vegetables in front of me. Nausea radiated from my stomach; I certainly didn't feel like dinner, at all.
“Ruby!” called Rylan, before sitting down next to me.
I gave him a small smile, hoping he would get the hint and leave. He didn't. “Look, Rylan, I’m not in the mood to chat right now.”
“That's okay; we can just sit in silence.”
“I don't need company to do that.”
I looked over at Eli, who was watching me with a worried expression. He would have been able to feel how sad I was. He turned back to the conversation with Aleksandrov but his mind was clearly still on me.
“Nobody likes to be alone,” said Rylan.
“Well, I do!”
It was a lie. I hated being alone and I felt sorry for snapping at him, but I just wasn't in the mood to handle his smart comments and subtle flirting right now. Rylan put his hand on mine and I had a hard time trying to work out if it was friendly or not.
“I'm here if you need me.”
Slowly, I took my hand back, hoping I didn’t offend him. The chair scraped against the floor as he got up and left.
I sighed and exhaled dramatically for what felt like hours. It had really only been forty minutes since I arrived. I just wanted it to be over so I could go to bed early.
When the kitchen staff began to clean up after dinner, I prepared to leave the dining hall but was stopped before I could even get out of my chair. It was Aleksandrov.
“Good evening, students and faculty members,” he began. “Most of you are probably wondering why the school was in lock down today. A student was found dead.”
The dining room lit up with gasps and lively chatter.
“Silence!” boomed Mr Aleksandrov.
The room fell quiet.
“Miss Cloud Banks fell and hit her head on a rather large stone. Her death was accidental.”
I glanced around the room as students cried and some just looked on in horror. My eyes rested on Raina's face. She was looking at me and shaking her head, of course she’d think I killed Cloud.
“A memorial service will be held on Monday, on the oval at nine in the morning. Thank you.”
Once again the hall filled with talk and sobs. I didn't think it was possible, but being here made me even more depressed. I strolled out of the hall, walking as fast as I could to get away from the cries and pleads to god.
Finally I made it back to my dorm room; I shut the door and leant up against it, sighing with relief.
The day turned out completely different than I imagined. It started of good, it was a normal day. That was the story of my life, I guess. When I had something good going for myself it was always ruined. I changed into black silk boxer shorts and a white singlet; I approached my bed and paused when I found a letter perched upon my pillow. Slowly I reached down and picked it up. I don't know why, but I glanced around my room, expecting to see someone lurking in the shadows. My eyes fell back on the letter. I opened it and pulled out a little red piece of paper and sprawled across the paper in black ink read:
You are mine, Ruby.
Coffee and Punching
Sleep didn’t come easy, in fact, sleep hardly came at all. I was relieved when the sun came up and I heard students buzzing around the dorm. Last night was horrible. After reading the letter, I couldn't sleep. Sure, I dozed off every now and then, but I awoke at every bat squeal and cricket chirp. My main fear was not that someone wanted to kill me; I was used to that. I’m on the top of a few people’s list. My main fear was that there was someone who wanted me dead who lived at this school and had been inside my room. I shivered at the thought of being watched by someone wanting to kill me.
Even though it was in my best interest to tell Eli about the note, I didn't want him to have to deal with anymore 'Ruby Drama.' After the whole capture me, turn me back into a goddess, fight Hank, help me through a panic attack and everything in between, I just didn't want to bother him anymore. I put all my fears and paranoia to the back of my mind. Today, I wanted to see Mila and help her with whatever she needed; I had to forget about me. I think it was about time I forgot about my own issues and helped someone else with theirs, be selfless for a change.
I quickly jumped out of bed and rummaged through my wardrobe. I decided on a pair of jeans and a black hoodie, then I pulled my hair into a ponytail and left my dorm room. A soon as I felt it, I saw him. Just my luck — Eli was walking towards me. Actually, this was perfect. Students aren't allowed in the teachers’ residential area without an actual reason. I needed Eli to take me to Mr Aleksandrov's house.
“Good morning,” I said, trying to sound cheerful.
“Sure, if that’s how you see it.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“C'mon, we both know you didn't sleep last night.”
Shit. I forgot about the tattoo. A few days ago Eli and I each got a tattoo; the tattoos are infused with each other’s blood. Eli can feel my emotions and I can sense when he’s near.
“I slept fine, actually,” I lied.
I looked closer at Eli; he looked tired. Still unbelievably good looking, but nonetheless tired. I felt bad; I wasn't able to keep my emotions in check at all yesterday.
“I must have had a nightmare…” I lied again.
“Must have,” he replied. His expression told me he didn't believe me.
“Hey, do you have a moment? I need to see Mila but can't get into the teacher residential area without clearance.”
“Sure. And we can talk on the way.”
I cringed; I knew he wanted to talk about my feelings and all that jazz.
We didn't say a word until we left the student campus.
“You can talk to me, Ruby,” Eli said.
“I know.”
“Then why don't you? I'm not stupid; I know something is happening within you. Being able to feel what you feel has only confirmed my thoughts.”
Seeing Eli's expression fill with pain made my heart pound.
“I'm still getting over things; you don't need to worry about me.”
Eli opened his mouth to say something but bit his tongue. I wondered what he would have said, that he wants to worry about me? Maybe or maybe not, now I'll never know.
We walked into the teachers’ campus and Eli and I had to sign a few papers before we could enter. As we walked along a path hidden by trees, Eli grabbed my wrist and pulled me to face him. His warm hands made my skin tingle and set butterflies loose in my stomach.
“You might think that no one cares about you or how you’re feeling, you’re wrong. If you don't think I can see through this 'tough girl' facade you’re putting on, I can. It hurts me to see such a beautiful girl go through so much pain, but hurts me more when she doesn't want to share it.”
His voice was hard and fierce. I looked back into his eyes, trying not cry and pour all my thoughts out or tell him about the letter. I responded like I always do when I'm put on the spot, with attitude.
“Do you share your pain? How many people know that your dad was murdered by vampires when you were still a boy?”
“Don’t make this about me.” he growled defensively.
“See, you and I are no different; you shield your emotions better than anyone, even me. We both have issues, we both have felt the pain of losing a loved one and we both keep to ourselves,” I protested.
I marched off down the path, hoping that somehow I could pick out Mila's house on the other side. Luckily for me there was only one house. Mila’s house was huge, at least two stories. Her front yard was beautiful; there was a huge fountain in the middle of a driveway that wound around from the back of the house. I didn't know what was more tiring, the walk from the school to the front yard or from the front yard to the front door. There was too much land for two people and no animals. Eli fell into step with me as I reached the front steps. He pressed the intercom button and Mr Aleksandrov’s voice projected through.
“Eli, I wasn't expecting you today.”
I glanced around looking for cameras, there were at least seven.
“I have a visitor for Mila. Ruby insisted that she keep her company today.”
A horrible buzzing noise sounded as the doors opened. We stepped inside, my mouth dropped open. I felt like I was inside a palace. A large staircase was sprawled out in front of us.
“Do we go up?” I asked.
Eli shook his head.
“Ruby, how nice to see you,” said Mr Aleksandrov as he entered the main foyer.
I flashed him a fake smile.
“Mila is showering at the moment; please, come to the tea room and wait.”
Eli and I followed Aleksandrov into a side room. I assumed it would be a small to average sized room; after all it was only a tea room, but I was wrong. I could fit my dorm room into this room at least nine times.
The three of us sat around a beautiful antique gold edged table.
“Ruby,” Mr Aleksandrov said, making himself comfortable in his chair. “I hear you’re unhappy with Tay and I.”
“Yes, sir,” I said sharply. There is no point beating around the bush.
“And why is that?”
“Have you even stopped by to see how I was when Hank attacked me? You went through so much trouble to get me here.”
“Were you injured?”
“No.”
“Then there’s no reason for your anger towards anyone.”
“I could have been killed.”
“But you weren't.”
I leapt out of my chair.
“Ruby,” warned Eli, standing up from his chair.
“Don’t you care that a psychotic vampire was so close to your school? To your niece?” I asked.
“I have enough guardian angels, both certified and in training, to take care of a few pesky vampires.”
My blood boiled.
I was confused why Mr Aleksandrov was being so indifferent about the whole situation.
“Ruby?” I heard Mila calling from the staircase. I turned and stormed off towards the door of the tea room.
“Oh and Ruby, don't be selfish. It’s a bad look for you,” stated Ivan Aleksandrov.
I turned and glowered at him, he returned a blank stare. I was really starting to dislike him. When we first met he was so kind and understanding, now he was a total asshole. I stomped up the stairs one by one and met Mila at the top; she led me to her bedroom. Again, I could fit my dorm room twelve times over in here, minimum.
“Wow, maybe I should sleep here instead of having you over in my dorm,” I gasped.
“At least your dorm is cosy. Being in here can be quite lonely,” she admitted.
“So, how are you feeling? I didn't see you at dinner last night.”
“I’ve come to terms with it, I suppose. Last night I was with Sam, she’s a real mess. I thought I was upset; her grief blew mine straight out of the water.”
“Is she going to continue with classes tomorrow?” I asked.