I just liked hearing her talk, finding out all that I had missed in her life. She told me about moving out of her dad’s house when he married a lady name Renee, who hated Bethy on sight. My chest had ached as I listened to her make jokes about sleeping on the floor and eating noodles for months.
I had eaten my own share of noodles and slept on floors, too, but that was something I never wanted for her. When I rode out of town, I had been determined to build a life somewhere safe, with everything she needed.
I didn’t want her to wake up and be upset about this. I hadn’t slept so well in years, and I sure as hell hadn’t woken up this damn happy in what felt like forever. We hadn’t even kissed last night. I wasn’t pushing her. My eyes had kept fixating on her lips as she talked, but I would mentally shake myself and force my gaze back to her eyes.
One of her legs stretched out, running down over mine as she began to stir. I eased my hold on her when I realized I’d pulled her to me so tightly it was probably what was waking her up. My subconscious was trying to keep her here in this spot. She let out a soft yawn, and the fingers she had sunk into my hair during the night began to move. Then she went completely still, and I knew my Bethy was finally awake. I gave her a moment to assess things. Yes, she was all kinds of tangled up with me, but we were fully clothed, and nothing was touching anything it shouldn’t. When she turned her head and buried her face in my chest, I smiled. Maybe she wasn’t going to jump up in a panic.
“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled against my shirt.
“For what?” I asked, smiling down at the top of her head.
She let out a groan that was beyond adorable. “I fell asleep on you.”
I shifted and tilted her head up so I could see her face. “Never apologize for that. Ever.”
She studied me a moment, then licked her lips and dropped her gaze. “I’m smothering you. Can you even breathe?” She still sounded embarrassed. She started to get up, but my arms tightened around her. I wasn’t ready for that just yet.
“I slept better than I’ve slept in years. You’re the best blanket I’ve ever had,” I teased, trying to ease the nervous stiffness in her body. I had liked her all soft in my arms. I wanted that back.
She let out a laugh and dropped her forehead back to my chest. “Wine after a long day in the sun knocks me out,” she said with an apologetic tone still in her voice.
“Then I’ll have to remember to do that often. What are you doing after work tonight?”
She lifted her head, and the smile on her lips made my heart clench. That was my Bethy smile. The one she used to give only to me. “Seeing you two nights in a row isn’t casual dating,” she said, as if I needed reminding. I didn’t want to think about what that meant. She didn’t want to be exclusive, which meant she could date other people. If that actually happened, I wasn’t sure I could be held responsible for my actions. The idea of her out with anyone else drove me crazy. I wasn’t letting that happen. How the fuck I was going to stop it was another thing.
“Sure it is. We ate, talked, watched a movie, and fell asleep completely clothed. That’s very casual. Let’s do it again tonight.”
The smile on her face grew, and she shifted again. Reluctantly, I eased my hold so she could stand up. If I held her down, she might not come back. I could always tie her ass to the bed. That would fix this casual-dating shit.
Bethy stood up and raised her hands over her head to stretch, leaving me with a small glimpse of the smooth skin of her stomach. The leggings she was wearing molded to every curve, and I was close to begging her to turn around and stretch again so I could see her ass in them. The shirt she wore almost covered it up. Last night, all I got was a hint of what it was covering up.
“Today is my day off. I have to do grocery shopping, clean my apartment, and—”
“Go visit Nate, stop by the post office, and get your mail. Then you go to the beach and stand in the spot where we lost Jace,” I finished for her. I had followed her for months. I knew her typical schedule for her day off. I didn’t want to remind her of Jace, but he was a part of her life. Our life. I wanted to remember him. I wanted to be able to say his name without worrying that she would shut me out.
She blinked at me as if she was surprised that I knew all of this, but there was no sadness there. The guilt and regret didn’t cloud her eyes. She turned to walk over and pick up her shoes and slip them back on. It wasn’t a secret that I followed her. She knew that.
Sitting up, I ran my hand through my hair but decided I didn’t care if it was messy. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, as I watched her search for her purse. She needed to put space between us, and if I wanted this to happen again, I was going to have to let her.
“Tomorrow night?” I asked, knowing she didn’t need me to elaborate on what I wanted.
She turned back to me, and I could see the wheels turning in her head.
“There’s a birthday party for Mr. Emerson at the club tomorrow night. He’s turning eighty. People are coming in from out of town. It’s a big thing. Woods asked me to work it.”
Mr. Emerson was London’s grandfather. Bethy’s eyes said what she wasn’t saying. She expected me to be there with London.
I’d actually forgotten about London’s asking me to go with her. I had turned her down. After the barbecue, I knew I was wasting my time and hers. She didn’t fit into my world. We had been good together once, but I had broken away from that life, and being near London reminded me of why I’d run from it.