“Wow, now you have two accolades: Not only do you apparently have the biggest c**k on campus, you’re also the most insensitive guy on campus! I was pissed off at those girls before, but now I’m starting to feel bad for them. You used them.”

“It isn’t like that!” he shouted but then his voice softened. “They knew what they were getting into. I’ve always been upfront with girls about any arrangement we have. We were all consenting adults. There were no mixed signals.”

“Whatever,” I scoffed. “How many girls have you seduced since the beginning of the semester?”

“. . . I’ve only been with two girls—Lauren and Teri—they were the ones that came over and saw the cats. And to be clear: we didn’t have sex. I knew it would upset you, so I didn’t have sex with them. God, I can’t believe I’m even telling you their names. I’m breaking my rules for you, Lorrie.”

“You can break your dick while you’re at it.” Seeing no other pillows around, I settled for crossing my arms over my chest. “You thought having sex with them would upset me and so you settled for a BJ? Seriously, what goes through that f**ked up brain of yours Hunter? You think I see imaginary cats? Well, I think you see imaginary logic.”

“I’m sorry, Lorrie. I needed to feel something . . . I wasn’t in a right state of mind. I’m a bit of a mess right now. It’s stupid but it’s the only thing I know that helps . . . I’m just trying to put myself back together.”

“What are you talking about? You seemed fine just a few days ago when you met my aunt. How could you go from flexing and making jokes to a Danny Downer? You know what, nevermind. I don’t know and I don’t wanna know. We discussed it before: we both have issues that we don’t want to share. And that’s fine. All I’ll say is this: I don’t care who you sleep with or who you don’t sleep with but get BJs from. We’re just friends, so why should I care?”

“Well I care! I care about you. I care about what you think. I consider you more than just a friend, Lorrie. You’re a close friend. You mean more to me than any other girl. You’re like the female version of Gary to me.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that you being upset with me is not something I can brush off. I can ignore the gossip about me, I can take the rumors. But I can’t take you being mad at me. How can I make this right, Lorrie? I f**ked up big time. How can I make it up to you?”

Although I was still mad at him, my heart broke to see him so distressed over things I said. I sighed, realizing I really cared about Hunter and didn’t want to lose him as a friend. “Okay, I admit hearing you getting a BJ from two girls pissed me off. It still pisses me off. But that’s my own issue. Even though we’re just friends, I can’t help being a little jealous. It’s irrational, I know, and that’s my fault . . . I’m sorry for that. I have to find a way to get over it. You’re entitled to do whatever you want in your private life.” I exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry Hunter, I’ll try to keep my jealousy under wraps.”

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He shook his head. “Alright, check this out, Lorrie. First thing I’m gonna do is make it up to the kittens by buying them Tiki Cat Gourmet. I’m also gonna get them one of those running waterfall dispensers. I’m gonna pamper the hell outta them. Just watch me. And second, I’m gonna cut that shit out with girls. It’s as much for you as it is for me.” He sighed. “I’ve been f**king up a lot, way before I even met you, and I need to get my shit together. I’m glad you’re here to give me a kick in the ass.”

I took a deep breath, trying to digest Hunter’s admission that he was a messed up person. I felt bad for causing to him to admit that. I also felt bad that maybe Hunter was being overly hard on himself. “Those ideas for the cats sound good. As for what you do with other girls, really it’s your decision. I don’t want to be a terrible friend to you. I’m sorry I said all those nasty things. Maybe I’m just getting stressed out about midterms coming up.”

He walked over and put his arms around me, squeezing me tightly. I squeezed him back just as tight. “You know what I bet will cheer us both up?”

I knew his answer but played along anyway. “What?”

“Rammmmppaaaaagggee!” he bellowed, his muscular arms spread wide and his voice deep.

Despite still being a little upset, I giggled; Hunter loved to pretend like Rampage could talk, but he always did it in that voice. The contrast between the little kitten and Hunter’s booming voice never failed to make me laugh. Rampage was definitely Hunter’s favorite.

“Do you think your roommate would want to come?” he asked.

I shrugged as Daniela’s voice came from her room. “Yes she would!”

Had she been listening to the whole thing? I turned and saw her emerge, purse in hand. Hunter looked at me.

“Okay, let’s go,” I said, eyeing my best friend suspiciously.

“Yay!” Daniela squealed. “Oh my gosh, I bet these things are so cute.”

“You have no idea,” Hunter said, standing up. “Get ready to have your chest explode.”

The squeal Daniela made when she saw the kittens was higher pitched than I thought was humanly possible. Hunter’s hands shot up to cover his ears, but I wasn’t so lucky. They stayed ringing for what felt like several minutes.

“Oh my god look at the little kittens!” she cooed. “They’re so tiny!”

She got down on her knees and tapped the rough wood floor. “Come here kitty!”

One of the kittens crept up to her unsteadily. They had just started being able to walk with any success a week or so prior. Before that, they had mostly squirmed, slept, and pooped. Now they’d added wobbling around on their feet to that list, and we were trying to get them to start using the litter box.

I looked more closely at the pattern on the kitten’s back. It had a little white patch on its brown fur shaped a little like a heart. That one was Taylor.

Taylor came up to Daniela’s outstretched hand and purred as she stroked her back. Some of the other kittens began to creep out from their sleepiness to see what all the commotion was about.

“How old are they?” Daniela asked.

I looked at Hunter, who shrugged. “We think they’re like five weeks,” I said.

She nodded. “They’re the smallest kittens I’ve ever seen. Can I hold her?”




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