Thoughts of lives lost and other kids growing up without a parent should have been what consumed me, but instead I sat next to his grave and played the What If head game I’ve been playing with myself since I was a kid. What if my father had come home instead of being lost at war? Would my mother have been different? Maybe not strung out for most of my childhood? What if he’d been there every night when I came home from school?
All around D.C., I pass families walking together as I run back to the hotel. They’re taking in the sights and having a good time. A young boy and his father pose in front of the Lincoln Memorial while the mom takes the picture, all three smiling at the memories they’re creating. It makes me run faster. Anger rises from within me, anger for my father not coming home, but even more anger for my mother not stepping up and being the parent she needed to be.
I don’t even remember the last mile of the run, sprinting the entire time so fast that I still haven’t caught my breath when I walk back into the hotel room.
“Hey.” Liv looks up from where she’s sitting on the bed, typing on her laptop. I don’t respond. Instead I stalk to her and ravel her hair around my hand and yank her head back, giving me access to her mouth that I so desperately need.
She doesn’t complain, even though I’m completely drenched in sweat and just marched in like a complete ass**le. She kisses me back. Hard. Almost like she needs it as bad as I do.
“Need you,” I mumble into her mouth without letting her come up for air.
“Need you too,” she whimpers, her words barely heard, smothered under my kiss.
***
“How was your interview?” An hour later, I finally ask the question I should have asked walking in the door. But I just f**king needed her. Needed her to erase all the shit going through my head. Help me get rid of the anger. I know it’s not fair, she doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of my shit, but I just couldn’t help it. Loathing myself for the way I treat her deep down inside, I try to soothe things over, even though she never complained.
“Okay.” She’s being tight lipped and I don’t blame her. Probably thinks if I was really interested, I’d have asked when I walked in the door…like a normal f**king person.
“What did you do all day?” she asks, her head resting on my chest. I stroke her hair, it brings me peace, the urge to wrap it around my fist and pull gone with my pent up frustration, thanks to Liv.
“I went to Arlington Cemetery.”
Lifting her head, she props her chin up on her hand resting just over my heart, and looks up at me. Her voice low and full of concern, she asks, “Is that where your father is buried?”
“Yeah.” I stroke the hair back from her face. She’s so god damn beautiful.
“Have you ever been there before?” Playing with the dog tags resting on my chest, she runs her finger over the swollen letters embossed on the ID.
I shake my head no.
“I would have gone with you. You shouldn’t have had to go alone.”
The f**ked up thing is it never even dawned on me that she would want to go with me. I’m just so used to taking care of myself, going there anything but alone wasn’t even a thought.
“Thanks. It means a lot that you would have gone.”
Tilting her head to the side, she holds my gaze for a minute before speaking. “Vinny, it’s not that I would have gone, I want to be there for you.” She pauses. “There’s a difference you know.”
Maybe I’m dense, because I don’t see the damn difference. But Liv was always better with words. I shrug my shoulders.
Chapter 31
Liv
I’ve never been to a professional fight before. I know it’s just an exhibition, but I’m still excited to see it. See Vinny doing what he lives for.
Because it’s not a sanctioned fight, each pair of fighters only spends one minute in each of three rounds, instead of the usual three or five minutes. Since Vinny’s got a championship fight coming up, he’s the headliner of the exhibition, so he goes last, like the rock star after the opening act.
We enter a small room under the building where the fights take place just above us. An older man greets us. It’s clear the two men are fond of each other.
“Preach, I’ve missed you, you old bastard. The place just isn’t the same without you.” The two exchange a guy hug, a sort of combination hand shake and one armed half hug chest bump.
“You don’t miss me you stupid little shit, you miss Nico having someone else to fight with.” Smiling, their teasing says a lot about the strength of their relationship.
Preach catches me out of the corner of his eye. “Who you got with ya…this girl’s too pretty to be hanging around with a goof like you.” He smacks Vinny in the back of the head as he passes by on his way to me.
Coming to stand before me, Preach ignores Vinny’s attempt at answering his question, and Vinny looks on from behind, laughing and shaking his head. “Hiya pretty girl, I’m Preach, and I’m single if you’re interested?”
Laughing, I extend my hand, “I’m Olivia, it’s nice to meet you, Preach.”
Preach takes my hand and shakes, but doesn’t let go as he talks to Vinny while still looking at me. “Elle told me all about this one when I talked to her last week. Says she’s special and I have to be nice.”
“Elle’s right there.” Vinny walks up to Preach and puts one hand on his shoulder from behind. His response is to Preach, yet he speaks it to me, “She is special.” He pauses and I watch as his eyes take their time to travel over me slowly, from head to toe before he continues. “Now how about you let go of my girl’s hand and come wrap up my hands, old man?”
The three of us hang out in the small locker room for another hour, the two men catching up on different fighters. Preach was Nico’s trainer and retired when Nico did. The three men have a lot of history together, and I get the feeling that they’ve become Vinny’s family in many ways.
Eventually, as it gets closer to the time for Vinny to fight, I take my seat inside the arena. Vinny made sure I was on the end of an aisle, almost directly behind the corner where he will be, just two rows back from the cage. I watch the end of a fight and then the announcer comes on. My heart starts to beat wildly in my chest before he even speaks. “Ladies and Gentlemen, in the red corner, standing six feet tall, weighing in at one hundred eighty-three pounds, the man you’ve all been waiting for, the contender for the upcoming middleweight champion of the world title, the ladies love him, the men fear him…I give you Vince ‘The Invinnnnnnciiiiible’ Stone!”
The crowd goes crazy as Vinny makes his way down the aisle, his black robe up, shielding his face as he passes, but it doesn’t stop women from screaming like fans at a rock concert. A woman two seats over from me is jumping up and down, tears streaming down her face, as she holds one arm out to him and screams, “Vince, Vince, I love you, Vince!”
Almost on cue, as if he’s responding to her, Vinny jumps up into the cage and then slowly turns, finding me in the crowd, and winks, a damn cocky grin on his face. I roll my eyes and he smiles, turning his attention back to the announcer in front of him. He has no idea he’s made the day, maybe even the year, of the poor clueless woman sitting two seats over. She’s holding her friends arm in a death grip and screaming so loud, I can hear her every word, even though the crowd’s still cheering. “Did you see that? Did you see that? He just winked at me!”
The announcer goes on to introduce Vinny’s opponent and then rattles on about a bunch of rules I’ve never heard of, nor understand, and the fight begins. Sitting on the edge of my seat, I watch as Vinny takes control of the fight almost immediately. He strikes hard and fast, hitting his opponent with first a kick to the chest and then immediately follows up with a right-handed strike to the face. Every muscle in his back flexes as his strength and raw power leaves the man wobbling not ten seconds into the fight. But the wobbling doesn’t last long. Seemingly out of nowhere, Vinny foot sweeps his opponent, turning his momentum against him and the man is quickly on his back with Vinny on top of him. It all happens so fast, I can’t even figure out how he did it, even though I’ve watched the entire thing happen less than ten feet away. Seconds later, the fight is over when Vinny does something to the man’s arm and he screams loudly, right before tapping the mat. The entire fight couldn’t have lasted thirty seconds. I’m not even sure if Vinny broke a sweat, and he definitely never got hit.
Undaunted by the brevity of the fight they paid good money to see, the crowd goes crazy, yelling and screaming as the referee holds up Vinny’s arm in victory. Preach is laughing as the two pass by on their way back out, Preach carrying Vinny’s robe that he doesn’t bother to put back on, to the pleasure of the women declaring their love as he passes by, a cocky grin firmly in place. He knows the crowd loves him. It’s a surreal experience, one that has my heart racing, and leaves me wondering how many more days until I get to see him do it again.
***
Even though I have a pass allowing me access to the downstairs area, I still wait on line with the others, many of which don’t have passes. I wonder to myself why people would even wait, with the size of the security guard checking for passes, until I catch on to what’s actually transpiring in line in front of me. Those with passes are let through quickly, those without are sized up. The nice looking women with short skirts and nice legs are all slipped passes. The ones deemed not worthy are turned away. It makes me wonder how many women have found their way into Vinny’s room for post-fight celebrations in the past.
Trying my best to ignore the pang of jealousy I feel deep inside, knowing I can’t control either of our pasts, I make my way down to Vinny’s room in a fog, not paying attention to where I’m going. Clumsily, I walk directly into someone as I’m engrossed in my own thoughts, just before reaching Vinny’s door.
“Liv?”
The voice is familiar, yet I can’t place it. I look up, confused. “Jax? What are you doing here?”
He smiles, a genuine smile on his face, he looks surprised, but I can tell he’s happy to see me. “I could ask you the same thing.” He narrows his eyes playfully and leans in, “Are you following me around trying to get me to bump into you, so I have to hold you again?” He’s teasing, I know. Although I don’t get the chance to respond, when the door we’re standing in front of opens and Vinny steps out.
He takes one look at Jax’s hand on my arm and his face changes. “I don’t know who you are, but get your hands off of her or you’re gonna find the beating the guy just took in the cage was just a warm up for you.”
Frozen in place, the sight of the two men standing next to each other makes me unable to respond. The resemblance is so much clearer when they are both within my vision.
“Liv?” Jax looks to Vinny and back to me, a confused question on his face.
“Liv.” Vinny’s voice is pure growl.
Tension resonates from the two men, and I can sense Vinny’s about to explode as he takes one step closer to Jax, the two men coming nose to nose.
Snapping out of it, I move to Vinny’s side, taking hold of his arm to gain his attention. “Vinny, he was kidding, I know him. It’s fine.” My words do little to calm the beast standing before me. Worse, Jax shifts his shoulders back, his fists balled at his sides, readying himself for what might come next.
“Who is this guy, Liv?” His words might be directed at me, but he’s still standing toe to toe with Jax, the two men having a staring showdown.
“His name is Jackson, he’s the son of the politician that I interviewed yesterday.” Attempting to refocus his attention, I tug harder on his arm.