“How would I want that?” I asked incredulously. “You know how I feel about you, and what I’ve fought to be with you!”
“And what you’ve given up.” He sighed. “You gave up way too much.”
“I didn’t give up anything,” I said. Unless he meant Peter, but I hoped we weren’t going down that road again.
“You gave up being human,” he said. “For me, it never seemed like that big of a deal. But for you, I think giving up death really messed with you.”
“I didn’t give it up. I can still die,” I said, but he did have a point.
“And you’re so young.” He chewed his lip. “Compared to me, you don’t seem that young, but you are. You didn’t know what you wanted to do with your life, and that was okay when you were seventeen and had college to figure it out. But when you got immorality, you had endless time in front of you, and it’s like you had no idea what to do. It’s too much.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But there’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t undo this, and it’s not like I want to die. I just… I’ve been trying to find something I’m passionate about, besides you. Something to fill my time with.”
“No, I understand that. I got afraid that I was holding you back.” He looked over at me. “This whole thing with Jane, when you were tracking down her killer, that was the most excited I’ve seen you about anything in a long time.”
“It wasn’t exciting,” I shook my head. A knot in my stomach twisted when I remembered killing Jonathan. “Murder isn’t fun.”
“No, no, I know that.” His brow furrowed. “Are you okay with all of that?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I brushed him off. “I don’t want to talk about that, though.”
“Okay.” He stared at me for a moment, then went on, “I know you’re not into death, and I know you were motivated by revenge. But something about that really appealed to you.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I thought about it, trying to separate my feelings of grief over Jane to the actual act of searching for a killer. “I liked solving it and feeling like I did something that mattered. Jonathan was killing girls, and I stopped him.”
“You did.” Jack reached over and squeezed my hand. “I’m very, very proud of you for that. Do you know that?”
“Not really,” I shook my head.
“You did something you believed in and helped people.” He turned on the bed so he faced me and moved closer to me. “You don’t need to hide that from me, okay? I mean, if this is who you are, what you’re passionate about then… Good. I support you, one hundred percent.”
“I don’t think this is something I want to do,” I said. “It was a onetime fluke thing. But thank you for supporting me, I guess.”
“Anytime.” He smiled and looked at me intently. “I love you, Alice. And if you can forgive me for reacting poorly the other night, do you still wanna spend forever with me?”
I smiled back at him but I didn’t get a chance to answer. Peter knocked on the open bedroom door. Hanging onto the doorframe, he leaned into the bedroom.
“Sorry to interrupt, but Mae is freaking out,” Peter said, but the smirk at the edge of his mouth led me to believe he wasn’t sorry. “She says she can’t find some sheets her mother gave her or something, and since Alice has been taking care of the laundry, Mae really wants to see you.”
“Alice!” Mae shouted from downstairs, emphasizing his point.
“Tell her I’ll be down in a minute.” I sighed and got out of bed.
Peter lingered in the doorway for a moment as I grabbed a pair of jeans off the bedroom floor. I’d only worn a tank top and underwear to bed, but they were full-on panties that covered everything.
“Peter, why don’t you go let Mae know?” Jack suggested, not unkindly, and Peter took the cue and disappeared downstairs.
“Sorry,” I told him as I slid on my pants. “I mean, that we didn’t get to talk.”
“No, it’s no big deal.” He waved it off. “We’ve got time, right?”
“Yeah,” I smiled.
By the time I made it downstairs, Mae had completely torn through the linen closet in the hall. She’d gone over to Olivia’s to get everything straightened out with Rebekah, and afterwards, she came over here with Daisy and Peter to start packing.
They were leaving tomorrow for Greenland, but they’d left most of their belongings in Australia because they’d been forced to leave in such a hurry. Mae had gone on several shopping trips lately, but she still had things she wanted to get from the house before she left.
“Alice!” Mae yelled again, tearing an old quilt from the closet.
“I’m right here, Mae,” I said walking up to her.
“Oh. Sorry, love.” She pushed a curl back from her face and smiled at me. “I’ve just been so frazzled with all of this.”
“It’s alright. What did you need?”
“This blanket my mother gave me. It had roses on it.” She held up the quilt, which did not have roses on it. “Have you seen it?”
“No, I don’t think so,” I shook my head. “Didn’t you take with you to Australia?”
“No.” She put her hands on her hips and sighed. “I don’t think I could find it then.”