I sat on the floor amongst a slew of dresses, crying, when Jack came in. He’d just gotten out of the shower, and he looked down at me.
“Alice, what are you doing?”
“I don’t have anything to wear!” I sobbed, holding up an ugly pink dress. “I can’t wear this to her funeral!”
Without saying a word, Jack walked over and sat down behind me. He wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me close to him, and with the other arm, he sorted through the dresses. He tossed aside the obvious rejects while I worked on calming myself down. By the time he needed my input, I had myself mostly under control.
We narrowed it down to two dresses; a skimpy black one that would make me look too hot for a funeral but Jane would love, and a simple black dress that was suitable.
“So, what are you gonna do?” Jack asked, resting his chin my shoulder. Both his arms were wrapped around me as I held up both the dresses in front of me.
“There was only one Jane,” I said finally and dropped the skimpy dress. “And she would be so pissed if I upstaged her at her own funeral.”
I got ready fast, since Milo repeatedly told me we were running late, but both Milo and Jack beat me. They waited outside the bedroom for me, and we rode together to the church in silence.
The sky was overcast, which was the one good thing about the day. I wore gigantic sunglasses anyway, but I figured they were appropriate for mourning.
When we got to the church, Jack pulled into the parking lot, but I wasn’t ready to go any further. The lot was already filled with nice cars, similar to or more luxurious than the Lexus. Jane’s father was a very wealthy business man, and Jane had been his only child. Most of the people filing into the church appeared to his clientele and friends.
A few of Jane’s other friends were there, but once she got involved in the whole vampire scene, most of her other friends had fallen to the wayside. The ones that did show up stood out horribly.
A girl Jane used to party with showed up in a bright red miniskirt and an entourage in tow, and she texted on her phone as she walked into the church. One of Jane’s former hookups looked like he was taking it pretty hard, but that could’ve just been because he was incredibly high.
“Are we going in?” Milo asked from the backseat. I watched all the men in prim business suits and tweaker kids. “Alice?” I didn’t say anything, so he sighed in frustration. “It’s going to start soon.”
“If you want to go inside, nobody’s stopping you,” Jack looked sharply at him.
“I’m not trying to be mean, but I don’t want to disrupt the service.” Milo leaned forward between the seats and touched my shoulder. “Alice, I think that you need to go and do this.”
“Milo,” Jack said.
“No, he’s right. Let’s go.” I opened the door before I lost my nerve and stepped out of the car.
Jack came around and took my hand, and Milo went to my other side. As we walked to the church, I noticed a weather-battered flyer tacked onto a pole. I’d seen thousands of others all over the Twin Cities the past few months. A black and white photo of Daisy took up most of it, with a number to call with any information regarding her disappearance.
Her abduction had been quite the news story. An adorable five-year-old with a terminal illness taken from an affluent neighborhood tended to get a lot of attention. By now, everybody had started assuming she was dead, so it had lost some fanfare.
The church was packed, and it was hot in the way all crowded places were. The heat and the sadness were stifling. The sounds of crying and heavy heartbeats filled my head.
The mahogany coffin sat at the end of the long center aisle, the lid flipped open. Looking at it from the back of the church had the same dizzying effect as looking down from a great height. From where we stood, I couldn’t see Jane, only the white lining of her coffin.
My knees felt weak. The moment felt so completely surreal. Jack squeezed my hand, and Milo moved in closer to me.
We slid into a pew in the back because it was the closest, and I felt unsteady. I had expected that strange numbness to come back over me, but it didn’t. I was nauseated, and all my emotions felt amplified.
Milo cried softly through most of the service. He had never been a huge fan of Jane, mostly because he thought she was a bad influence, but he’d liked her. She could be very funny and kind, and sometimes she was that way with Milo.
After her cousin delivered the eulogy, the pastor opened it up for anybody to speak, but I couldn’t do it. Anything I had to say about Jane felt sacrilegious. I’d let our friendship fall apart, and if I hadn’t, maybe we wouldn’t be here.
At the end, they called everybody up to say their final respects to her. Jack waited behind in the pew while Milo and I went up. I couldn’t have made it by myself, and I was thankful to have Milo next to me, holding my hand. He was the only one that knew her the way I did.
The worst part about seeing her in the coffin was that she didn’t look dead. It’d been almost exactly one month since I’d seen her, and she looked much better now. She had put on some weight, in a good way, and her skin had color again. Maybe that was just the makeup, but it didn’t matter.
Jane looked more alive than she had in months, and she was dead.
I reached out and touched her hand, her skin cold and stiff. Tears slid down my cheeks, and I wanted to apologize, to say goodbye, just say anything to her, but I couldn’t form the words. My mouth wouldn’t work. Milo’s choked sob was the closest I came to saying anything.