“I fucked up. I know I did.”
He sighs. “You’re putting me in a hard place. You have no fucking idea how I’m fighting against myself right now.”
“I can’t help the way I feel. I can’t help wanting you the way I do.”
He looks at the roof, his jaw tight. “I can’t . . .” He stops talking, closing his eyes and running his hand down his face. “Shit, Tia, I can’t even . . .”
“I get it,” I say, my voice small. “I do . . . even if you don’t think I do.”
He pins me with his gaze and takes a deep breath. “I’m going to give it to you straight, because you deserve it that way,” he swallows and for the first time I see a flash of vulnerability in his eyes. “I’m not going to deny I feel something for you, because that would be a fucking lie. I do. You make me laugh and when I’m inside you, fuck, it’s never felt so damned good. When you smile, I smile, because something lightens when you’re around.”
“But?” I croak.
“But I care about her, Tia. I can’t just turn that shit off. Has it dimmed since I started sleeping with you? Absolutely. There are times I’ve forgotten to even think about her, and that scares the hell out of me because it means I’m feeling something for you that goes beyond friendship, but I can’t turn off my feelings for her. I’m trying to, but I can’t. I’m in a fucked-up situation, because the truth of it is . . .” He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I care about two women, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out which one is best for me.”
My lip trembles as I stare at him, loving that he’s so honest. It hurts, God, it hurts like hell, but I can’t ask any more of him. He’s given me the truth, and I can’t hate him for that.
“It hurts me to say this,” I force out, “but I get it.”
He shakes his head, giving me a pitying expression. “It’s hard. I want to spend time with both of you to be able to make a clear decision, but how the fuck can I ask that of you? Stay by my side and continue fucking me while I’m doing the same thing with another woman? I needed to show her today, for whatever sick reason I needed for her to see you were second best.”
Oh god. That burns. It fucking burns. Reality at its hardest.
“Are you...are you sleeping with her?”
He shakes his head, eyes intense. “I haven’t. That’s the God-honest truth, Tia. I haven’t put my cock inside her since she’s been back, but I can’t promise that won’t happen. I know what it will do to you . . . I don’t want to be that man.”
My heart aches. It feels like it’s being ripped out of my chest.
“Reign?”
I jerk when I hear Selena’s voice, and I look past him to see her at the door. From the look on her face, she doesn’t know what we just did in here, nor did she hear our conversation. Reign stares at me, holding my gaze for an intense minute before turning to her.
“I’m coming.”
She smiles at him, and I want to hate her, but do I really have the right? After all, in her eyes, I’m the reason Reign is holding back. Just like in mine, she’s the reason. In this situation, who is really in the wrong?
“I’m going to go back to my room,” I say, my voice weak and pathetic. Betraying me when I need it to be sassy and funny.
“Tia,” Reign says as I brush past him.
I turn to him. “It’s simple, if we really want it to be. You don’t have to make the choice, Reign. I do.”
I step past and rush back down the halls to the elevator.
That didn’t go as planned.
~*~*~*~
“Autumn,” I whisper down the line, talking to her answering machine for the hundredth time. “I miss you. I wish you were here. I could use you.”
I hang up and turn my phone off. I walk into the bathroom, kicking off my shoes as I go. I find a robe and decide I could use a bath. I strip down while the hot water fills the massive tub. The moment it finishes, I step over the side and sink down, sighing with relief as my muscles relax. I close my eyes, letting myself sink into the bubbles.
I’m in there no longer than twenty minutes when I hear my door open and shut. I jerk upright, covering my breasts. Is it house-keeping? I stare at the bathroom door, heart pounding. It creaks open and I let out a little squeak but quickly smother it when Reign steps in. He’s drunk; I can see it straight away. His eyes are glassy, he’s got a real swagger, his jacket is gone, his shirt is half undone and of course, he’s got a bottle of open wine in his hand.
He looks divine.
“Reign,” I breathe, starting at his half-untucked shirt. He looks messy and rugged and so fucking sexy it hurts.
“You can’t keep walkin’ away from me,” he says, dropping the wine on the countertop.
He takes hold of his shirt, tearing it up and over his head, sending a few buttons soaring across the room. He jerks his pants down, causing my eyes to widen.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to get in. I’m going to fuck you slowly, and I’m going to try and forget why the fuck I’m doubting everything.”
I bite my lip as he strips down to nothing, his big, hard body straining as he strides towards me. Oh. Shit. I can’t do this right now. I quickly stand, getting out of the bath. I take a towel and avoid his questioning glance. Not to mention his hardening cock. Not worried about me getting out, he walks over and takes my hips, lifting me and placing me on the counter next to the sink.