I took her in my arms and kissed the worry off her face, tasting her fear, her love, and taking them both for my own. It had been so long since I’d been scared for myself.
“Yes, I turned it in,” I assured her. “I can tell you all about the themes of love and loss in Les Miserables, of redemption and penance. I nailed it, I promise.”
“Good.” She sighed, as if that had been the real reason for her worry. “I should have looked at it.”
“No, you needed to study, too. It does me no good to pass all my classes if you can’t rock some physics.”
“Speaking of physics,” she said as she grasped the shoulder straps of my harness. “You sure about this? I’ve done a ton of research into Tsingy de Bemaraha, and if you so much as miss the drop zone…” She shook her head.
I cupped her face in my hands, running my thumbs over her porcelain skin. “I know what I’m doing, and I’m really, ridiculously good at this. Maybe not as good as Landon, but hey, we all have our strengths, right?”
“Not everyone can be perfect,” Landon said, smacking my back as he walked by close enough to hear us, apparently. “Now kiss the girl good-bye and let’s blow this gin joint.”
“You know that would have gone over better in Casablanca, right?” I asked over my shoulder.
“Get on the plane, smart-ass,” he threw back.
“Okay, you go with Little John. Be careful on the trip in, and I’ll meet you at the drop.”
“You’re sure this is…safe?” Her eyes widened.
I glanced over her shoulder, where Little John stood with Brooke at the car, far enough away that they couldn’t hear us. “Yeah. It’s just Penna, Landon, and me on the plane. No other Renegades. We all packed our own chutes, and I’m the one who paid the pilot. We’re okay. And nothing has happened since Morocco. Maybe…”
“Maybe almost killing me scared whoever is screwing with you?” she asked with a quirked eyebrow.
“Yeah, well…I wasn’t going to put it that way, but maybe. I’m not taking any chances with you, though. Stay close to Little John and Brooke, okay?” They were the only ones who had been with us from the beginning, the only ones with a vested interest in us, and the only ones outside Penna and Landon I could trust with Leah’s life.
“Okay,” she agreed. “And you…you know, don’t die or anything.”
I ran my hands down her hair, tendrils whipping free from both the breeze and the aircraft behind us. “I won’t. And you wait with a red flag in case it turns you on.”
She laughed, and my heart lit up like the Fourth of July. God, I loved this woman. Loved her laugh, her worry, her anger. Loved when she sharpened her claws on me, and when she tucked them away. I loved how she pushed me, not just in sports like everyone else, and not with her own gain in mind, but genuinely wanted me to better myself as a person. I loved the way I wanted to be that better person for her—to be exactly what she needed in her life.
“You’re my everything,” I said to her, hoping she could hear what I meant to say. She needed the words, I knew it, but I couldn’t say them, not when letting them past my lips demolished every wall I’d built. There wasn’t any piece of protective gear that could guard me from Leah, or the way she could mangle my heart if she left.
The way I knew she eventually would leave when she realized I hadn’t been honest with her. But no matter.
“I love you,” she answered, her heart open and shining through her eyes, as if I could physically see the glow of her emotions.
I kissed her one last time, pouring everything I had into it—my love, my hope, my need for her. I held her close and hoped that each stroke of my tongue made up for the words I couldn’t say, every motion reaching for more of her soul, because she already owned mine.
I was wholly, deeply, irreversibly in love with a woman who was way braver than I could ever be.
“I’ll see you in a few,” I promised as I pulled away from her lips.
“Be safe.”
“Always.”
I boarded the plane as the SUV carried Leah off to the drop zone.
“You tell her?” Penna asked as we strapped on our helmets.
“No.”
She shook her head. “Never took you for a chicken, Pax.”
“Maybe it’s kinder to her.”
“Or maybe it’s the one thing that could keep her with you,” she spat back.
“What are we talking about?” Landon asked as he came from the back of the plane.
“Paxton’s a moron,” Penna answered, her eyes never leaving my face.
“Oh, I thought maybe we were talking about stuff I didn’t already know.” He laughed.
Penna’s eyes met mine across the cabin, her expression hardening, because we both knew that there was way too much Landon didn’t know, that I was being dishonest with two of the people who meant the most to me.
But the wheels were already in motion, and this late in the game, I was powerless to stop them. Problem was, those were the same wheels that were going to crush me.
…
Adrenaline rushed through me, spiking every sense, feeding me the kind of high that only came in moments like these. The best part? I glimpsed Leah across the drop zone.
Now this moment was perfect.
Shit. The breeze shifted, blowing me near one of the sharp limestone formations of Tsingy de Bemaraha, the gray rocks reaching up from the earth like daggers waiting to catch my chute.