Jumping off the cliff was definitely preferable to this conversation. I wasn’t ready to reveal any of my feelings, and I knew he wasn’t nearly ready to hear them. Throwing the L word into our relationship was the most surefire way to kill it.
Sure, I’ll date you.
Oh, by the way, I’m in love with you, too.
Yeah. No.
“I kind of like you,” I said instead.
Now he was the one laughing. “Yeah, I kind of like you, too.”
“Wilder!” Landon called from where they were all lined up at the cliff’s edge. “You coming, or what?”
Paxton looked to me. “Well, do you choose the jump? Or the ‘or what’?”
I was torn. What if I got up there and chickened out? What if something happened on the way down? What if I broke my ankle on the landing, or I puked all over Paxton?
But what if I didn’t do it?
Brooke was right, I’d never get this chance again. And besides, Rachel would have already harnessed up.
Paxton would keep me safe.
“Let’s jump.” The words came out of my mouth before I could think.
His face lit up. “Let’s jump.”
A few minutes later, Paxton knelt, putting me into the harness he’d double- and triple-checked, sliding the straps up over the leggings I’d changed into. “I like these,” he said with a smirk as he ran his hands up my thighs.
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, my eyes fixed on the edge of the cliff, where Penna and Brooke had already jumped. “Don’t you want to watch them?” I asked.
He shook his head, adjusting my straps. “Nope, they’re not my priority at the moment.”
“You sure know how to make a girl feel protected.”
He rose up before me, adjusting the shoulder straps with a quirk of his lips. “Hang around. In a few minutes I’ll sweep you off your feet.”
Only he could make me laugh right before I was about to endanger my life.
Once our helmets were snapped and I was clicked into Paxton’s harness, we stepped to the edge. The view was unparalleled. The half-moon beach below was only accessible by the boat waiting offshore, the white sand meeting the greens and blues of the water in stunning contrast. In the middle lay a shipwreck, and I couldn’t help but wonder how many jumpers it had seen.
“You ready?” Paxton asked behind me.
My heart lurched into my throat, and I had that same feeling as I did before the zip-line, knowing that something terrifying but amazing was about to happen. “You’ll keep me safe?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Always,” he answered, our helmets bumping as he leaned forward to kiss my cheek.
“Let’s go.”
“On three,” he said.
“Okay.” Dear God, please don’t let me die doing something as stupid as this. I’ll be a good person. I’ll go to church, and rescue a dog from a shelter, and call my parents every Saturday, just don’t let me die.
“One.”
I’ll volunteer at homeless shelters.
“Two.”
I’ll tutor kids at an inner-city school. Or do my best to broker world peace. Yeah. One of those.
“Three.”
In perfect rhythm, we jumped.
My stomach dropped as we did, adrenaline flooding my veins. With each heartbeat, I cut another piece of my fear free, let it fall, and hoped I never caught up with it again.
The chute rippled out behind us, and our descent instantly slowed. The warm breeze caressed my face, and I took in gulping breaths as the sheer perfection of the moment overwhelmed me. It was beautiful—the view, the jump, the fearlessness, and Paxton behind me, steadily guiding us.
“What do you think?” he asked.
“There are no words,” I answered.
“Exactly,” he said, wonder in his voice. “Remember to bend your knees when we land. I’ll try to do most of the work.”
A few seconds later we hit the beach. The whole thing took less time than I’d spent debating actually doing it. But it was something I’d never forget, something that could never be taken away from me.
Paxton cut our chute loose and unhooked me. “You okay?” he asked as I spun in his arms.
I raised up, kissing him, slipping my tongue past his teeth and hoping he’d taste the euphoria running through me, the gratitude I had that he’d pushed me but hadn’t pressured me.
Unlike Barcelona, this time he responded, tilting his head to get past our helmets and wrapping me in his arms.
“Thank you,” I said, my smile uncontrollable.
“No, thank you,” he said, kissing me again. “Your trust means the world to me.”
“Leah!” Penna yelled, running over to us and hugging me. I was swamped by Brooke, Landon, and a couple of the other Renegades until secure in Paxton’s arms, I was the center of a group hug.
“Welcome to the Renegades, Firecracker,” he whispered in my ear.
Nothing had ever sounded more like home.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Paxton
At Sea
Leah was going to kill me.
I was officially ten minutes late for the before-class conference Dr. Westwick had requested, because the production meeting ran late. Physics wasn’t anything I was worried about, but his email had sounded anything but friendly.
My hand paused on the door when I heard Leah’s voice from inside the classroom.
“I’ll get knocked down an entire grade if you do that,” she said, sounding more worried than when I’d stuck her on the zip-line.