Way to drive it home. “I get the fucking point. Don’t touch Leah. Don’t risk my tutor, my grades, our future. Got it. I’ve known the girl for a week. She’s not under my skin or anything, so chill the hell out. It’s an infatuation.”
Penna arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “Don’t get an attitude with me. I’m well aware that you have control over your”—her hands pointed to my general groin area—“manly parts. But you know what I’ve realized over the last week?”
“What?”
“This is a small ship, Pax. There’s nowhere to go, and that makes everything just a little more intense, a little more…intimate, especially when you’re spending almost every waking minute with her. That’s more than enough time for her to get under your skin. This girl is at the center of your universe because you need her, which is fine, but remember that you’re at the center of hers, too, because your grades keep her on board.”
“Right?” I didn’t see the fucking problem. Leah and I had already come to terms with our symbiotic relationship.
Penna sighed, and her shoulders drooped. “Just… I really like her. She’s funny, honest, smart…but there’s some damage there, too. She’s in your orbit because she has to be, but you’ve got some ridiculously strong gravity. Be careful around her.”
“I’m only trying to keep her happy. She’s got three months until her roommate shows up, and I don’t want her to be lonely. What if she hates me and quits? Leaves? Everything we spent the last year setting up will be down the drain.”
“I think there’s a line between keeping her happy and making her fall for you. You’re so used to doing the second with every potential hookup, I’m not sure you’d even recognize it.”
But everything with Leah felt…different, and I didn’t know how to explain that to Penna without looking idiotic. Not just the way my hands gravitated to Leah’s skin, or the way I admired her bravery…it was her loyalty, the way she’d calmed me in the caves with a simple touch, the way she hadn’t pressed for more information.
“She heard some guys talking about Nick today.”
Penna blinked at the subject change. “What did you tell her?”
“I didn’t.” I opened the sliding glass door to the balcony and was rewarded with a mild breeze and the setting sun over Bermuda.
She followed, leaned against the railing, and examined me, her familiar blue eyes skimming over my features while she passed judgment. “Well, I guess she’s not the only one with some damage.” She looked past me and waved.
I followed her line of sight to see Leah lounging on her deck chair, the light breeze blowing her shirt against the line of her waist, her eyes covered in huge sunglasses. She waved back to Penna, her smile instant and bright.
“See what I mean? Small ship. Small universe.”
She skipped off to sit with Leah, but I kept my distance. Maybe I did need to call Zoe, fuck myself into a clear head, but the last thing I wanted were her fake moans and faker breasts.
Maybe I wanted soft curves and softer eyes. Maybe I wanted a conversation and understanding. Or maybe I was fucked up and only wanted to land the trick I knew I shouldn’t, because it was too dangerous.
But what I wanted wasn’t an option.
I walked into my suite, slamming the sliding glass door behind me.
Wanting what I couldn’t have was a bitch.
Chapter Five
Leah
Bermuda
The Bermuda sun soaked into my shoulders as I rubbed on another coat of sunscreen, avoiding the straps of my halter top. The beach was crowded with students enjoying our last day on shore before the trek across the Atlantic.
A shadow came over me, and I lowered my sunglasses to see Brooke standing above me in a bikini and sarong. “Wilder said I could find you here,” she said with an open smile.
“Hey, Brooke.” I checked my watch. “I’m supposed to meet him in fifteen minutes.”
“I think he was scared you wouldn’t show,” she admitted, taking the lounge chair next to me and dropping an enormous beach bag. “He still feels pretty guilty about the stunt with the zip-line.”
“I already told Penna, I’m okay. Seriously. He didn’t know that I’m scared of heights.” He didn’t know what it took for me to climb onto that platform, either, or that I’d taken the entire ride with my eyes shut until he asked if I could swim.
“You okay with water?”
“Yeah. I grew up in southern California. The ocean and I are well acquainted.” In fact, the lack of Pacific blue was the only drawback to living in New Hampshire. Well, besides the cold, and snow, and generally dismal springs.
“Good, because we’re supposed meet Wilder on the dock.”
Dock. Water. Swimming suit? I swallowed the momentary blast of panic that tightened in my throat and gathered up my things. “Then let’s get to him.”
It was a short walk down the beach to the picturesque dock where a large yacht was tied. My jaw dropped when Paxton jumped from the boat to the dock, wearing only a pair of dark blue board shorts and a smile.
Damn, his abs just… Eyes up, Leah.
“How did you get a yacht?” I asked when he met us halfway down the pier.
“Borrowed it,” he said with a grin.
“It’s his dad’s,” Brooke answered.
Paxton shot her a disgruntled look.