Oh, yeah, Vic thought as he panted desperately for air a moment later. He could survive this just fucking dandy. He’d just have to be careful not to lose any vital organs in the process.
Or anything vital. Period.
Niall felt like her bones had been removed and warm mush put in their place. She gently thudded onto Vic’s chest, incapable of volitional movement when he came down next to her and curved his arm beneath her, tilting her against him. Seconds passed, then minutes. Their ragged pants eventually smoothed to a matched, even rhythm.
Niall knew that Vic didn’t want to talk. So for several full moments she allowed herself the sublime pleasure of lying in his strong arms, feeling his crisp chest hair on her cheek . . . breathing in his unique scent. There were plenty of times in the past few months that she’d despaired of ever experiencing those things again, after all.
But eventually the need to speak could be ignored no longer.
“Thank you for taking me with you on Traveler,” she whispered into his skin. “He’s a beautiful animal.”
“You weren’t afraid?” Vic asked in a soft rumble. Niall rubbed her cheek against the subtle vibration resounding through his chest.
“A little, at first,” she admitted. She lifted her head and met his gaze. “But once I was up there, all I could think about was you.”
He watched her for a few seconds. His hand rose jerkily, as though it’d been restrained where it lay on the bed and he’d suddenly broken free. Niall purred softly when he plunged his fingers into her hair and lightly massaged her scalp.
“My guess is the next time you get on a horse will be easier for you, and the time after that, easier still. You just had a block you needed to get past.”
She closed her eyes, savoring the pleasure of his touch. She figured she was either a moron or a masochist for ruining such a lovely moment.
“Vic, we need to talk about this.”
His hand stilled in her hair. “There’s nothing to talk about, Niall. We wanted each other and we had sex. It’s simple, really.”
Niall placed her elbows on the bed and looked up at him. He suddenly seemed so distant.
“I want to be able to talk to you about what happened last December . . . what happened before that . . . what happened to me years ago—”
He sat up so quickly that it left Niall a little stunned. One second she’d been staring into his impassive face and narrowed eyes, and the next she was looking at his naked back as he sat at the edge of the bed.
“Why now?” he asked gruffly. He didn’t turn around. “You obviously didn’t think it was worthwhile to tell me anything back then.”
A heaviness pressed down on her chest, constricting her lungs as Vic stood and sauntered over to where his jeans were on the floor.
“I did want to tell you, Vic. You have no idea how much.”
He pulled his jeans up over his muscular ass and fastened the bottom buttons. “Well, it’s all water under the bridge now.”
Niall sat up, pulling the comforter around her as she did so. His cold, calm manner caused a tendril of panic to unfurl in her belly.
“How can you say that?”
He glanced at her, his eyes like liquid steel.
“Don’t you think we’d be better off discussing the fact that we just had intercourse twice and that I didn’t wear a condom?”
Niall’s mouth fell open. She hadn’t been expecting him to say that. She fumbled for something to say. And why in God’s name did Vic have to be feet away from her while she sat in bed, naked and alone, when he asked such a distressing question.
“It . . . it should be all right,” she said shakily. “It’s not the right time of month for me to get pregnant. I should have my period in three or four days.” Her mouth went dry with dread when she thought about him kissing that woman in the parking lot last night. Surely Vic would have worn protection with her, wouldn’t he have?
He peered at her from beneath a lowered brow as he pulled his shirt down to his waist. “I’ve never had sex with the woman you saw me with,” he said flatly, making Niall wonder if he’d read her mind. For a few seconds he just stared at her, the struggle on his handsome face obvious. “The only thing we should have to worry about is pregnancy. I’m sorry. I won’t let it happen again.”
“I was as much to blame as you,” Niall murmured uncomfortably. “But, Vic, I want to talk to you about what—”
“No,” he said abruptly, taking two steps toward the bathroom. “You said that you wanted to tell me back then, but you didn’t, despite the fact that I wanted to be there for you. I wanted it a hell of a lot, Niall! Now you want to talk, but I’m no longer ready to listen.”
Tears stung her eyes. He seemed about as accessible as the summit of Mount Everest to a handicapped person as he stood there looking down at her, his light eyes conveying fire and ice fused. Was it really possible that they’d just been pressed skin to skin while their sexes throbbed in tandem and his face pressed so intimately to her neck?
“So that’s it?” she asked throatily. “We’re just going to make love whenever the mood strikes us and ignore the fact that I hurt you last year by not being honest with you?”
“By not being honest about a particularly important fact,” Vic corrected in a hard voice. “By not telling me the entire time we were fucking each other that you just happened to have a husband. Did it ever occur to you that I might have strong feelings about sleeping with a married woman? Did it ever once strike your self-centered brain that I might have morals when it came to that?”