“She’s my fucking heart, you stupid prick. And you’re nothing more than a dead man.” He lowered his aim, then fired, shooting the bastard straight through the heart, killing him instantly. But he put a second bullet through Rado’s forehead, and would have kept firing if not for the fact that Lily was waiting for him.
Stepping over Radovich’s stinking body, Ryder intended to find her and just . . . hold her, but Ben and a small army of deputies suddenly arrived and almost two hours had gone by before Ryder finally made his way to his bedroom. He found her inside, talking on the phone, making arrangements for what sounded like a car service to take her to the airport.
“Lily? What’s going on?” he demanded, shutting the door to the room behind him.
She set the phone down on the bedside table, then turned to face him. Her face was tense and pale. “Now that Radovich is dead,” she said quietly, wrapping her arms around her middle, “I . . . um, called one of my friends in Virginia. She’s bought me a plane ticket home and paid for a car to pick me up. I just needed to give the driver the address.”
“What the fuck? You’re just gonna up and leave?” he scraped out, while inside he was thinking No, don’t do this. Don’t make me lose you. Not now . . .
She sniffed, then took a deep breath before saying, “I’ve had some time to think while I was waiting for you, and I . . . I know you well enough to know that what he said about you being the reason he came after me is only going to push you away from me again. I can’t go through that,” she whispered, swiping at her tears with her fingertips. “Not again. I have to get out before it happens.”
“That doesn’t make any fucking sense!”
Her mouth trembled. “I’m sorry, Scott. I just . . . I know we won’t be able to get through this without something strong holding us together. Without something that’s permanent and lasting. I know . . . I know you care about me. But that’s not going to be enough.”
Christ. This was such a fuckup, and he didn’t know whether to be pissed that she had so little faith in him . . . or if he should just kick his own ass for failing to make his feelings for her clear. “You think I care about you? Like the same way I’d care about my elderly neighbors or a pal at work?” He moved closer, hating the pain he could see shimmering in her beautiful eyes. But, damn it, he was hurting, too. “After last night, is that honestly what you think, Lily?”
She bit her lower lip, and her gaze slid away. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
Bitterness sharpened his voice. “Then you should have thought of that before trying to sneak out on me.”
Her head snapped back in his direction and her eyes went wide. “I wasn’t sneaking anywhere. I was going to talk to you before I left.”
“Yeah? Then call back and cancel that damn car.”
“Scott, I—”
“There’s a hell of a lot we need to say to each other,” he growled, cutting her off, “and we can’t do it here. At least come back to my house with me. You owe me that much.”
She sucked in a sharp breath, then reluctantly nodded, calling the car service to say that she’d be in touch with a new address and pickup time as soon as possible. Working his jaw, Ryder grabbed their bags—a deputy had brought hers from across the hall earlier—then followed her out of the room. They came across Ben in the living room, which was still crowded with deputies, and Ryder told him he was taking Lily home. Ben nodded, casting a worried look at her pale face, no doubt thinking she was upset because of what had happened with Rado, and Ryder didn’t correct him. But he knew Lily well enough to understand that even though she’d been concerned for his safety, she was as thankful as he was that Radovich had finally been dealt with, once and for all.
They made their way out to the Jeep after finding Mike and thanking him, and the drive to his house was quietly tense, the air heavy with the weight of everything that needed to be said. No matter how many ways he turned it over in his head, Ryder knew that the crux of the matter was the fact that she trusted him. Since coming back into his life, she’d trusted him with her body, with her heart, and with her well-being. It was far past time that he trusted her, too. And maybe, just maybe, he needed to trust that together they were right where they were meant to be.
Fuck, there was no maybe about it. He was meant to be by this woman’s side. Today. Tomorrow. For fucking eternity. And there was nothing he was going to let stand in his way. Not fear. Not his past. And sure as fuck not his desire to protect her. It was what he’d been made for. If he was crazy and overly protective at times, Lily would handle him. Hell, that’s what she did best.
After all this time, he finally got it. He’d always felt like he was getting it wrong with Lily because he hadn’t done what he should have done the second she was legal. Which was claim her sweet little ass by putting a ring on her finger, his name after hers, and make sure his fucking stamp of ownership was on every inch of her. And he didn’t feel like a possessive ass for wanting it, because he expected her to claim him in the same fucking way.
The sun was only just coming up as he parked the Jeep in his driveway and climbed out, not bothering with their bags, just wanting to get her inside as quickly as possible. She followed him up the walkway and he opened the front door, letting her go inside first. Then he went in and locked the door behind him. If he could have barricaded the damn thing to keep her there with him, he would have. He couldn’t stand the thought of her leaving him. Of not going to sleep every night with her soft little body in his arms, and waking up to her beautiful smile.
“What do you think of Moss Beach?” he asked, tossing his keys onto the small table that sat at the end of his sofa.
She was standing a few feet away, arms crossed over her middle again, and her expression made it clear that she thought it was a strange question. “Um, I haven’t gotten out much. But what I’ve seen is beautiful. And I like the people you work with. The friends you have here.”
He lifted a hand, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s a good place to build a life. Raise a family. All that normal shit I know nothing about, but that I’m, uh, hoping you’ll show me.”