“Just do it, Ben, okay? Please? Don’t ask me to go.”
I swallow thickly as Mia leaves the room.
Collapsing onto the bed, I stare at the phone in my hand, pull up my missed calls, and hit dial, fueled by one thing driving me to do this. The only reason I’ll ever have.
My wife.
“Ben?”
My free hand makes a fist at the sound of Angie’s voice.
“Listen, and listen good, ‘cause I’m only saying this once. I’ll bring Nolan over to see you, but it’s going to be on my terms. When, for how long, what the fuck you two talk about. All of it. Every time he sees you will be on my terms, and that’s only if he wants to see you. I’m not forcing my son to spend time with someone who gave up every right to him three years ago. You didn’t just make a mistake, Angie. And you sure as fuck don’t have any claim to Nolan anymore. Don’t feed me that bullshit again. You hear me?”
“Y-Yeah,” she stutters. “I hear you. But Ben . . .”
“But nothing. You think you paid for this? You think spending three years in jail erases what you did? It doesn’t. You could’ve killed him. I don’t give a shit how long you spent locked up. I don’t care if you never see my son again. And if I’m being perfectly fucking honest, if this was up to me and I wasn’t worried about making the woman I love happy, you wouldn’t be spending any time with Nolan. Judge or no judge, I will always do what’s right by my kid. I will always protect him. And keeping him far away from you is the best thing for him.”
There’s a short pause, then Angie’s meek voice finally comes through the phone. “I’m sorry. I am. I know I fucked up. I . . .”
“I’ll bring him over when I get off tomorrow. Where are you staying?”
She sniffles. “My sister’s house. 85 Lakely Circle. By the mall.”
“Fine. Don’t expect this to be some sort of reunion. We’re staying for a couple minutes and then I’m taking him home to his family. If he’s not comfortable, or if he wants to leave before that, we’re gone. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
I end the call.
Staying hunched over, my elbows resting on my knees, I close my eyes and fill my lungs with air, releasing it slowly. I repeat this until the tightness in my shoulders subsides.
Mia doesn’t think she can handle this tomorrow. I won’t force her to go, but I know my son. I know how much he adores Mia. How much he has since they first met. Their connection was immediate. Undeniable, like the one I have to her. She was always meant to be his mother. And she’s worried she’s going to lose him to a woman he never had a relationship with. To a woman who never deserved to know him.
I roll my neck, opening my eyes and staring at my phone.
We need some time together. Fuck the past two months and this bullshit. Mia shouldn’t be worrying about anything.
I pull up my contacts and dial Tessa. It rings once.
“Your wife already called me,” she answers, confirming what I had been thinking. “I can’t believe that bitch is out of jail already. You call her back?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Yeah. I’m taking Nolan over there tomorrow. I just want to get this over with.”
“I don’t blame you. But if you ask me, she doesn’t deserve to see him. She doesn’t deserve anything besides being a fuck doll for the scariest bitch in D block.”
I almost laugh. If I wasn’t consumed by this, by Nolan’s possible reaction to seeing Angie tomorrow and Mia’s worry I’m taking on as my own, I might’ve.
“Listen, I’m not calling to talk about Angie. I need a favor.”
“What? Oh, and I have something for you. It’s not important or anything.”
Standing from the bed, I move to the doorway and peer into the hall, making sure I’m alone. “What is it?”
“It’s just something I think you’ll want to have,” she says teasingly. “A little memento. I’ll give it to you next time I see you.”
I don’t have time to play Tessa’s games. Mia could come down the hall at any second.
“Fine. Look, I need to get away with Mia. Just us. I want to do something for her. If I can get the villa a couple of days early and take extra leave, will you and Luke watch the boys and bring them down for the wedding?”
I have no idea if I’m going to be able to pull this off. Requesting last minute leave is one thing. I can beg Captain for that and promise to pull a few doubles to make up for it. Getting the villa a day or two in advance might be impossible. It’s the beginning of the summer. A lot of people are taking vacation now. The resort could be booked up, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try my hardest to make this happen. Pay anything. Any amount, I don’t give a shit. She needs this.
We fucking need this.
“You want to take my best friend on a mini romantic getaway? One she absolutely, one-hundred percent deserves?”
I smile, moving out of the doorway and grabbing the itinerary for the resort out of Mia’s nightstand. I find the phone number on the bottom of the page.
“Fuck, yeah.”
“Good. Make it happen.”
Mia
“ARE YOU A WHEAL PWINCESS?”
I smile at my first memory of Nolan as I sit on the stairs leading up to the deck, watching the boys dig around with their shovels in the sandbox Reed built them.
I’m being selfish. I know I am. Instead of seeing the positive side of this, Nolan getting two moms who will love him endlessly, I’m looking at it as a loss for me. My time with him is going to be taken from me. I’ll have to share my son with someone else, someone who has more of a right to him than I ever will. Or¸ in my worst possible scenario, I could lose Nolan completely if he wants Angie to be his only mommy again.