My heart was pounding in my ears as I stalked from my truck down to the stables. What the fuck had I just walked in on? Was I overreacting? I’d given Reese a chance to explain herself, and she’d stammered. She hadn’t been able to explain. She had almost seemed to be defending that asshole.
Did I trust her? Yes! I never had a reason not to. She was my Reese. She was so damn sweet. How the fuck did this happen? What was wrong with that motherfucker that he thought it was OK to bring her lunch? He knew she was taken. What was the purpose behind it?
He wanted what was mine. I picked up a saddle, slung it against the wall, and shouted a string of curses. This was not what I had wanted to come home to. I should be kissing Reese and holding her close so I could smell her. But she’d been hiding something. I could see it in her eyes.
Fuck me. Was I that blind? Did I assume because I had found her lost and broken that she would never want to explore more? Had I just been a way for her to heal? Was she curious about others? I felt sick as I even thought about it. I didn’t want her to be fucking curious about other men.
That stupid motherfucker wasn’t ugly, either, and he knew it. He was using his looks to rattle her, too. And she was rattled. It was working. I leaned back against the wall and inhaled a painful breath. I was her first everything. She’d never let anyone else get this close.
Was I being selfish to not let her go, if that was what she wanted? Was I caring for her like a possession and ignoring her needs? “Fuuuuuuck!” I yelled as pain sliced through my chest.
I wanted to be overreacting. Was it because I was mentally exhausted from dealing with Kiro? Everything replayed in my head.
“I just left her there,” I whispered out loud, knowing she had no way to come after me and explain. I hadn’t even given her a moment to get her thoughts together. She had looked as surprised as I was.
I couldn’t leave her there all day to worry about this. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Sure, she hadn’t told me that she was having lunch brought to her by fucking River, Captain, whoever the hell he was, Kipling. But demanding an answer from her and then storming out when she couldn’t verbalize one wasn’t the way to handle it.
This was Reese. My Reese. There had to be a reason she hadn’t said something before now. Maybe she was afraid I would react the exact way I just reacted. Or she could have been worried that I’d make her quit her job. She loved her job. She was proud of herself, and watching her blossom under Piper’s obvious approval was beautiful.
I had to go back. I stalked back to the door, only to be stopped by Major, who was looking at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Move,” I snarled, and started to push past him, but he grabbed my shoulders and stopped me.
“She’s not there,” was all he said. He sounded annoyed.
“What?” I asked him, shoving him back so he would let me go.
“She called Maryann. Your momma went to get her.”
Reese. “Shit. Is she OK?” I asked, moving fast to get around Major and head up the hill toward my momma’s house.
“She was crying so hard Aunt Maryann barely heard what she was saying. She ran for the door, then pointed at me and said, ‘Go tell my son he better get himself ready to fix this.’ ”
I had to fix this. Reese was crying. My stupid temper.
“What the hell did you do?” Major asked.
“River Kipling was in her office. He brings her lunch sometimes. She never told me.”
Major let out a low whistle. “He’s a smooth one. But has Reese done anything wrong?”
“She never told me!” I yelled, wanting to punch something.
“Well, hell, Mase, if she thought you’d react like this, I can’t say I blame her. You don’t get worked up like this. Never seen you become an ass in my entire life. So what the fuck has happened to you?”
This wasn’t me. I didn’t lose my mind over every little thing. I was careful, and I thought things through. I made calculated decisions. I wasn’t this off-the-handle insane man who had taken over.
“Stop yelling, and listen to yourself. You’re acting like a nutcase over something that isn’t that big of a deal. So he brought her food. Did she fuck him for it? No. I can answer that. She loves you. You . Snap out of this.”
Snap out of this. Those words replayed in my head. Words I had just said to Kiro. When he was losing his mind over a woman.
I was acting like . . . my father. My entire life, I’d tried so hard to emulate the man who raised me. He was a solid man. A man who was careful and thoughtful but strong. Yet in one moment, I forgot all that and became the man whose blood ran through my veins.
I didn’t want to be this man. But I understood him. I hadn’t even lost Reese, and I was going crazy. What if I were faced with actually losing her? Could I recover from that? Would I become the man I looked like instead of the man who had taught me everything?
“I have to see her,” I said, feeling helpless.
“Yeah, well, your momma will be here soon enough with her, and I wouldn’t want to be you when she gets here. She’s not happy with you.”
I wasn’t happy with me, either. I’d let Reese down, but I’d let me down, too. This man wasn’t me.
My mother’s truck came into view, and I took off running toward it. I wasn’t waiting for Reese to get to me. I needed to see her now. Momma stopped when she saw me getting closer. I didn’t even make eye contact with my mother; I kept my eyes on Reese. Her face was red and splotchy from crying, and that was all because of me.