I can worry enough for both of us. I can also hide it better. I’ve become a fucking master at it the past week.
Reaching across the bench seat, I grab her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. It’s the pressure that does it, the stress of our hands together that breaks her concentration off whatever it is she’s staring at right now.
“Come here,” I demand gruffly. This isn’t a request.
Her bottom lip, reddened from the bite of her teeth, presses against her slightly thinner top one as she thinks it over.
I tug her hand, urging her. “Beth.”
“But I have to wear my seatbelt,” she argues as her free hand unhooks the front clasp of the harness.
I look out the front window. “It’s mostly back roads from here on out. I mapped it that way. We won’t get pulled over, and I’m a damn good driver. You’re fine.” My eyes meet hers. “Slide over. I want you next to me.”
She pushes the straps of the harness off her shoulders. “Um, what am I supposed to do with that?”
I look down at the gear shift she’s eyeing up cautiously. Tilting my head, I grip her thigh and maneuver her across the seat. “Straddle it, sweetheart. I know how much you like having a big stick between your legs.”
Her cheeks lift as she hooks one leg over the gear shift. “Speaking of big sticks . . .”
“The answer is yes.”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” she laughs, settling beside me.
God, I missed that sound. I don’t want her to ever be quiet with me.
“Besides,” she continues. “I doubt we have time for anything that filthy mind of yours is thinking up.”
“Beth, if it has anything to do with my big stick and you, my answer will always be yes. And fuck time. It isn’t an issue. As much as I hate to admit this, I can’t last for shit when it comes to you. My only redeeming quality is that I can work that unfairly tight pussy of yours in a matter of minutes, sometimes seconds.”
Her head falls against my shoulder with a soft giggle. “Okay, noted, but I wasn’t thinking about doing anything with your big stick right now.”
“No?” I ask, sighing heavily as I glance down at my lap. “You hear that? Are you as heartbroken as I am?”
“Your penis has feelings?”
“He does, and you’ve just crushed them.”
Her lips brush against my neck. “I promise to kiss him all better later.”
I shift to a higher gear after noticing the change in the speed limit, then rest my hand on Beth’s thigh. “So, big sticks? What’s on your mind, pervert?”
“I was just thinking about last weekend. The bathroom sex romp with Ben and Mia.”
Our eyes lock as we both turn our heads at the same time. Her bold, brown ones, alight with mischief. Mine, broadened with discomfort.
I groan uncomfortably. “Please don’t mention the words sex romp, and our friend’s names in the same sentence,” I beg through a shake of my head. “As hot as you were that night, I’m still trying to forget everything I heard that didn’t come out of your mouth.”
Making eye contact with Mia has been a challenge when I’ve seen her this week. Luckily, she hasn’t seemed fazed by anything she heard in the bathroom.
Ben is a different story.
“See, that’s what I wanted to talk about. Mia made a comment about Ben’s massive . . . member,” she pauses, smiling up at me. “And I feel bad about not giving yours a shout-out. He’s massive too, and very thick. I could’ve said something about it.”
I look down at her, briefly taking my eyes off the road. “Like?”
Talk about my dick. I fucking love when you do that.
“Like,” she echoes, palming me. I groan, arching away from the seat.
“God, Beth.”
She laughs wickedly at the desperation in my voice.
Her hand. God, her hand is a menace.
“How you’re so big it almost hurts,” she whispers, slowly stroking me. “So long, and thick. You fuck me so deep, I think sometimes you’re hitting my spine. And your taste. I love the taste of your dick, Reed, especially after you’ve been inside me.”
Jesus fuck.
I press my hand against hers when she goes for my zipper. “I’m worried we won’t make it to the diner if you touch me.”
“I thought you said time isn’t an issue.”
Raising an eyebrow, I remove her hand from my lap, put my arm around her, and tuck her against my side. Her hair tickles my mouth. “It isn’t, but neither is my stamina. I’ll pull over and fuck you into next week if you whip my dick out.”
She shudders, then relaxes her body. Her nervousness forgotten as she melts against me.
I don’t know how long we drive in silence, but it’s different from before. It’s the kind of quiet I’m used to sharing with Beth. The stillness that doesn’t feel like it’s missing anything. I’m still losing my shit on the inside, wondering how I’m going to take hearing her obvious choice if things go well today, but she’s fearless next to me now.
My brave girl. So fucking brave. Does she know how amazing I think she is? Have I shown her? Told her enough?
Her head moves against my chest, and I glance down, meeting dark eyes brimming with tears.
What the . . .
My heart slams against my sternum, nearly rocking me forward. All words escape me. My fucking vocabulary reduced to a pained groan as I look to the road to make sure I’m still on it, then back down at her.
“Why did you stop?” she asks through a soft voice.
Stop? Stop what? What the fuck was I doing besides assuming my girl was fucking content next to me?
She laughs at my confusion, which only exaggerates at the sound of her amusement. “You were humming,” she explains, running her finger below my bottom lip. “You do that when you’re quiet sometimes. Did you know? I love hearing you, Reed. Your voice might be my favorite sound.”
Humming? I was humming? And she’s ready to burst into fucking tears because I stopped?
“You’ve hummed it before. I don’t think I know that song.”
Her hand falls away from my face.
What was I humming? Something she’s heard from me before, but what?
I think back to the nights Beth has fallen asleep in my arms. When I’ve pressed my lips to the back of her neck and pulsed a melody against her skin.
Of course.
I take my hand briefly off the wheel to run it through my hair. “Yeah, I can’t get it out of my head.”
“It’s beautiful. Will you sing it to me?”
“What?”
Sing it to her? Is she serious? I’ve never sung to anyone before. I do that shit when I’m alone, or when I can be drowned out by the radio.
Her full, red lip pouts as she looks up at me. “Please? I want to hear the words so bad.”
“Your voice might be my favorite sound.”
Sighing, my head hits the seat. I can do this. It’s just singing.
Her finger traces lazy circles on my thigh, but she stops the second the words flow past my lips.
“I’m trying real hard not to shake. I’m biting my tongue, but I’m feeling alive and with every breath that I take, I feel like I’ve won. You’re my key to survival. And if it’s a hero you want, I can save you. Just stay here. Your whispers are priceless. Your breath, it is dear. So please stay near.”