I pulled my phone out to read another text from Tyler, firming up our plans for the weekend. I told him I’d see him at his meet and just wait for him after so we could go out. I had to get my head back on right, and maybe seeing Tyler was just what I needed.
As the weeks passed, I saw Tyler more and more. I went to a few of his meets, all of which he won. It was amazing to me the level of athleticism he had, yet only a few people watched him dive from platforms while thousands drove hundreds of miles to watch Reed throw a ball.
Tyler and I spent a few evenings at his house, our make-out sessions getting a little bit more intense. And I was growing more comfortable with my body and sharing it with him. It was early October, and the air was starting to chill at night, so we would sit out on his parents’ patio by a large fire pit they had built-in next to the pool. This was the first time he had managed to completely remove my shirt and bra.
When I drove out to meet him, I had planned for this to happen, wanted it even. But driving home after our date, I felt a little empty about it. Almost a bit used. I didn’t have anything to compare it to, so I wondered if it was just my nerves making me doubt it. There was also the lingering guilt I felt for Reed. It wasn’t that he was giving me any new signs that he was interested, but I constantly replayed his confession that he loved me in my head. Frankly, it was starting to make me feel numb on some level. I think that’s why I was being so forward and sexual with Tyler. It was like I was trying to force myself to feel sparks when I was with him.
Homecoming at Coolidge High was coming up soon. I had purchased a special ticket for the dance, which was always held on the Saturday after the game. I got a pass to bring Tyler with me, but Friday night after the game was a special student lock-in at the school, and only students were allowed to attend. I was going to skip it, but Becky, Sarah and Sienna worked on me for days until I finally gave in. We were all on the planning committee for special events, so at least I had a say in the various activities we scheduled for the all-nighter.
Since Tyler wasn’t able to come to the lock-in, I didn’t ask him to come to the game. I’m sure he would have, but part of me also wanted to spend one night on my own, with the girls. Sienna got to the field early for a special performance by the band. I picked up Sarah and we both met Becky there a little before the game. We walked up to the top of the stands so we could rest our backs on the solid wall along the press box.
Our team was heading back into the locker room; they would come back out for a special entrance, breaking through the stacked pyramids of cheerleaders holding the giant State Champions banner. The entire scene had a certain entertainment value to it, but we all loved it. I had grown up watching it. And now, now that the team was winning behind our hometown quarterback hero, the tradition made us all feel something extra. Pride, I think.
Sarah and I cheered loudly for Sienna as the band took the field, trying to embarrass her. We were satisfied when we were pretty sure she blushed a bit and sat down to watch her performance. The crowd joined in when they played the fight song as the announcer called the State Champion Bears to the field. Reed and Sean were leading the team, holding their helmets high over their heads as they ran through the cheerleaders and rainbow of balloons. The display was supposed to intimidate our opponents, but we always scheduled our homecoming game against a school we were guaranteed to beat, so I didn’t think we could intimidate them much more than just forcing them to stand on the same field with our boys, who were all heads and shoulders bigger than they were.
I caught Reed’s attention as he turned around and scanned the bleachers. I gave him a bit of a thumbs up and he gave a small one back. My tummy felt warm from this silly victory, but I took it anyhow. Sarah just rolled her eyes at me.
A crowd was gathering down at the corner of the bleachers when I realized that it was because of Buck. He had come to the game. I knew this meant a lot to Reed, and I was really happy to see him out and on his feet. But I also felt like I needed to check on him, ask him to take it easy.
I excused myself from Becky and Sarah and climbed down clumsily to the bottom steps. I waited patiently until the other boosters and teachers had gotten their greetings in. When I finally caught his attention, he smiled brightly and just reached out for a hug.
“That’s my girl,” he said, giving me a warm squeeze.
“Hey,” I said back, so happy to see him. “You look great. How are you feeling?”
“Oh, I’m getting there. Taking it slow, cross my heart,” he swiped his finger over his chest twice. “Was just dying to get back out here, though. I hate that I missed so many of their games. This is it for me, you know. This is the stuff.”