EVER HEAR THE saying, "Pride goeth before a fall?"
That really seemed tailor-made for Snow with his internationally successful rock band, his swooning fans and groupies, his Lucifer-ambitious Vegas hotel and subterranean kingdom of CinSims and dragon ashes.
Well, this time my pride was about to "goeth," and fast.
I heard the padding bare footsteps of the returning handmaiden nurses. I lifted a languid hand for my goblet of wine.
And got a Lalique angel glass in my hot little palm, glowing cherry-dark with red, red wine.
I reared back to regard my server because across from me Theda's Silver Screen pale gray complexion had become parchment white from diademed forehead to sandaled toes. Not to mention the midsection cellulite.
He was an Egyptian hunk in the burnished terra-cotta flesh, with that Michael Phelps Olympic hero of the Nile build, broad-shouldered and slim-hipped, hairless and muscled from collarbone to bare sandaled foot, except for his gorgeously bewigged head.
I accepted the wineglass from the proffered tray, of course, and watched Theda do likewise. If anything, she looked more surprised than I did.
I took it Shezmou was not the usual wine steward in these parts. I was happy to see him slipping into his other, less drastic role.
He greeted me with the same steady, flattering courtesy I could expect from Godfrey.
"These garments you wear are modern and overgaudy but they become you, Deliverer of Shezmou, though they would not much serve you when facing the abased immortal servants of the fallen pharaohs."
"You know each other?" Theda sat up to take notice. I was getting the house sommelier service while Shez ignored Her Royal Aspness.
"Were you responsible for the sublime scents and silky oils of my bath?" I asked him.
Shez bowed his godly head. "While I am indispensable to the rites of embalming and the judgment of the dead, I most enjoy serving the living with the soothing administrations of my sweet wines and rare oils. How do you find the wine?"
It would have been rude not to sip it, even if it was a vital bodily fluid. I was surprised by a taste similar to a light Merlot.
"Marvelous."
Theda stamped her sandaled foot and ankle wrapped in a cobra bracelet that was bound to remain just that, a gaudy gewgaw. Poor thing.
"My wine!" she ordered. "I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt."
Shez's Ric-gorgeous brown eyes gave her the once-over I'd get from a put-out Hollywood hairdresser.
"You are a resident CinSim, Orderer of Shezmou. You wear one of my hieroglyphs. My first obligation is to guests."
Of course! The most notoriously revealing gown in the history of film bore three five-armed stars signifying Shezmou over the naughty bits. The god guy was a born style maven.
"You'd do really well with your own exclusive shop on the Strip," I told him. "Do you have all the ancient recipes?"
His face stayed beautifully blank. He'd been made a male model ahead of his time.
"Formulas," I prodded, "for your oils and perfumes."
"I would need sesame, moringa, pine kernel, almond and castor oils."
Hmm. I could see the look of the line now: Cleopatra's beauty secrets for the ages. Shez pictured on the label in his boat with two stars over his cobra-topped but noble head. I wasn't sure about getting that moringa stuff... I'd groggle it when I got home.
After all, I'd redeemed Shezmou's immortal life and freed him from labeling a pillar in the Karnak underbelly for eternity. Why couldn't he pitch his own private label aboveground in the bustling commercial metropolis along the Strip? I owed Shez a decent future since his past had been so... static.
A high-end beauty and wine combo enterprise was fresh marketing. Wait! A wine bar with cosmetics to go. Chez Shez: "Drink in the secrets of everlasting health, beauty, and longevity..."
Yes, daydreaming my pet Egyptian god into a beauty brand was making me cocky now that I'd discovered friends in high places at the Karnak's priciest residence tower. Time for serious updating.
"Where is Bez?" I asked soberly.
Shez placed the white wineglass on the zebra-pattern coffee table in front of Theda and turned to me.
"Alas, Deliverer, he was taken to the throne room to be the royal jester. His guardian post farther below was eradicated by us and our allies, as you will recall."
"There isn't a food market there still?" I asked carefully, as Theda stared incomprehensibly.
In her silent-film day, actors did a lot of incomprehensible staring because the action froze as dialogue placards popped on the screen mid-scene.
"No." Shez was emphatic.
What would the Karnak vampires use for food then? I was afraid to speculate at the moment.
"And-" Maybe it was a couple sips of wine, but none of the exotica around me was distracting anymore. "-the great gray warrior... hound, was he seen...?"
Now I knew why lushes cried in their beer. Or wine.
"No, Deliverer." Shez remained expressionless. He'd had millennia to master that Godfrey demeanor. "Not along the great River Nile in sky, on earth, or in the Underworld."
I took a deep breath, controlled myself. "But you are safe here?"
"Oh, yes. I have an entire floor for my wine and oil presses, my supplies. And, of course, I am free to leave anytime when darker duties with my lord Osiris call me."
"Great," I said.
I felt even safer here now that I'd seen Shezmou. Human "Deliverers" don't get their heads twisted off and he was in no way a vampire.
Still, I thought frantically while nodding and sipping socially. Just who could or would foot the bill for an ancient Egyptian demon god to take up his kinder, gentler hobbies?
"I hope to see you here again, Deliverer," Shez went on. "Your business proposition is most interesting. I do have time on my hands in these latter days."
Shez bowed to me (wow!) and eased out of the room. Whoever had provided Shez shelter couldn't be an out-and-out villain.
Or maybe not.
I heard a discreet clattering noise behind me and turned.
A human in living color was moving toward our conversation group. He had long gray hair and beard and was wearing a striped robe and using a walking staff. With the window-wall light at his back, he reminded me of nothing so much as Charlton Heston as the aged Moses from the 1958 The Ten Commandments.
The film had been a Cinemascope Technicolor epic. So this guy was not a CinSim. Nor was he even human, I realized, as he came close enough for me to recognize him.
It was Howard Hughes, dressed as urbanely as Hugh Hefner in a silk-lapeled robe, dragging his IV pole of thinned blood with him like an imitation of Marley's Ghost in chains.
Holy Horror! Imagine. Those two HH-initialed old guys, twins suffering from mogulism and lechery, still going, after all these decades.
A handmaiden nurse scurried to catch up to Hughes and scoot the wheeled IV stand into place next to him when he grasped a sofa back and swooned more than sat on the goose-down cushion. I assumed it was goose-down because (A) he could afford it and (B) the way it swelled up around him bespoke really ritzy upholstery.
Besides, that almost skeletal bony frame needed all the padding it could command.
"Miss Street," he greeted me, or rather, my boobs. "I must say it is an aesthetic pleasure to see that bit of costuming worn by one born to fill it properly."
Theda writhed on her divan and squealed her displeasure.
Hughes ignored her at first, then frowned. "Go tint your nipples or something else vampy."
Theda rose and scurried away, giving me a poisonous look. Another enemy; join the club.
"There goes another secret piece of film history for you, my vintage-film lover." Hughes leaned close enough to whisper. "Seeing the surviving photos of Miss Bara's Cleopatra costuming inspired me to invent the first steel-underwire push-up bra for Jane Russell in The Outlaw. Miss Russell also possessed your assets in abundance. Or perhaps I should put it vice versa. So you owe me for your support."
"Laundromats everywhere must curse your name," I told him, unimpressed. "When I was in college, bra underwires were always escaping during the spin cycles and breaking the equipment."
His bony shoulders shrugged. "Progress has its price. My point is that engineering can be applied to the trivial, a woman's undergarments, and to the sublime, a marvel of the centuries, say, an Egyptian pyramid."
I wanted to shrug back but realized that would only incite the undead old lech. I'd thought being escorted here by a harem of nurses and greeted by Theda made this a "just we girls" night or I'd never have allowed the sex-slave pampering bit.
"You needn't fear me personally, Miss Street. I am far too careful to take my blood from any living being and am too old and wise for sex. Besides, Shez is prettier than you; pity he's such a remorseless god. Anyway, do you know how many germs fester in the human mouth?" He shuddered delicately. "I admit I still like to look, but, alas, cannot touch and have not for many decades."
I nodded, almost sympathetically. Even when he'd been alive and first came to Vegas, back in the late sixties, he'd sequestered himself on the top floor of the Desert Inn and bought a local TV station so it would play only the movies he wanted to see, all night long.
How freaky to remember that's pretty much what kiddie me did nights in the Kansas group homes forty-some years later: stay up all night getting hooked on old movies.
I wondered what he feared, what had scared Howard Hughes so much he went from playboy engineer, inventor, filmmaker, flier, and mogul to a crazy, lonely, emaciated, old billionaire hermit?
"Your look of pity is misplaced. I have more money and power than I ever did. Any one of my nurse attendants would rip your throat out at the lift of my little finger and drain your blood for my continual, moving 'cocktail' by IV tube."
"It's not pity, Mr. Hughes. It's curiosity."
"Partly that too, yes. You are annoyingly curious, also lucky I've taken a liking to you. Do you know how long it's been since I've done that? Would you consider a seven-year exclusive contract?"
"You don't make films anymore."
"Are you sure?"
"I guess not. I didn't expect to find you were the literal top man at the Karnak either."
His thin lips smiled, reminding me of dashing forties photos of him looking like Clark Gable's double. I guess a lot of men did in that era. Pencil-thin mustache, fedora at a jaunty angle. They could be the hero, or the villain, in a hundred different enjoyably forgettable noir crime dramas.
"You are always so dependably... buoyant," he said, glancing south of my collarbones again. "No one has made me smile in thirty years."
"That's great, HH, but an hour or so ago I was about to become steak tartare for a demented CinSim."
"Frankenstein can be obsessive and he's no engineer, that's for sure, but he demonstrated promise for weird science."
"He's a CinSim escapee from a piece of fiction written almost two hundred years ago as a moral and philosophical fable."
"The point is, he intended to create life. We are now in an era when life can be scientifically helped along at both the beginning and the end of the cycle. And now death can be defeated, by extreme measures sometimes, as in my case, or by something as tried and true as CPR and its Kiss of Life."
His watery eyes fixed on mine. I appreciated the change of focus but wasn't going to say a word about Ric. No one but Grizelle knew I'd accepted Snow's Brimstone Kiss.
"You're saying," I ventured, "that if you'd waited a few more years you wouldn't have had to make yourself into a vampire to stay in business."
"Simplistic, but yes."
"So why let some CinSim loon loose in the Karnak?"
"I own it, for one thing. Yes, I own a lot of things no one suspects I do. Always did. For another, I'm aware that in this post-Millennium Revelation world, the ancient ways might hold secrets of life and death that are every bit as effective and useful as any that modern science can explore."
He sat back. "Drink your wine, Miss Street, not everyone gets a glass hand-delivered by the Lord of Blood himself."
"How do I know it's not sweetened blood," I asked, "not bull's blood, say?"
"Because Shezmou is the god of wine, as Bacchus was for the Greeks. I'm tickled you found and freed him. He is quite the fan, Delilah Street, and proud of his vintages. The one in your hand derived from a formula many millennia old and the instant-aging magic of a reawakened god."
Millennium wine. That would be a commercial hit too. So would my Vampire Sunrise cocktail, now that I'd discovered the impulsive title was a literal description of up-and-coming vampires in Vegas, from the Gehenna's Sansouci to the Karnak legions.
I sipped ancient wine again while Howard leaned his head back against the sofa pillows. "What impression does the Karnak entrance give you?"
"Those massive inscribed black pillars so close together? They create shade from the sun but their immensity makes you aware of how architecturally awesome the Egyptians were."
"They also obscure the fact that the center of the hotel is the top of a massive pyramid built deep into the sand and stone below the Strip level."
"I didn't see any pointy top anywhere inside the hotel."
"You weren't meant to."
"I see. The Luxor Hotel had already claimed the pyramid as an external image and brand since the nineteen nineties."
"I could have bought and leveled the Luxor and built my own pyramid-shaped building openly here."
"Why hide a pyramid inside a temple facade?"
"You must understand that a pyramid was not just a massive tomb and monument to some old man's ego."
Was that an actual twinkle in Howard Hughes's colorless eye? He snorted with elder glee.