He pauses again, and when he answers, his voice is surprisingly sincere.
“Yes,” he tells me. “I want it all.”
Blake turns now, meeting my eyes. I’m hit all over again with the force of him: that chiseled, handsome face, the smile, those magnetic blue eyes. I feel the same flip in my stomach I felt the day we first met; time and distance have done nothing to lessen his effect on me.
I think I see something shift in his expression, a glimpse of desire, but it must be wishful thinking, because he turns away.
“You better get back inside,” he says shortly. “You’ll miss the party.”
Disappointment crashes over me.
I turn and slowly walk away, feeling like a fool. All my plans are for nothing; I tried and struck out again.
But did you really try? A small voice nudges me. Didn’t you promise to give it your best shot?
I gulp, then before I know what I’m doing, I whirl around and stride back to him. I put my hand on his arm, and pull him around to face me.
“It’s the New Year,” I say stubbornly, my heart racing.
“Not for another ten seconds.” Blake looks confused. They’re counting down inside, chanting the numbers.
Time is running out.
“Then I guess we’ll have to pass the time.” I take a deep breath, gathering all my courage, and then I reach up on my tiptoes and press my lips against his.
“Nine! Eight! Seven!…”
The voices fade away as I fall into the kiss. Blake’s mouth is warm, and I can taste the bourbon on his lips, feel the faint scrape of stubble on his jaw.
This is it. I’m finally kissing him.
But then I realize, Blake is frozen in place. He’s not kissing me back—but he hasn’t pulled away either.
I loop my arms determinedly around his neck and pull his body down against mine. As if it was the signal he was waiting for, Blake suddenly sweeps me into his arms. He spins me around, pushing me back against the railings as he kisses me hard and deep, and I come undone.
God… This is what I dreamed about, all those years of innocent fantasy. I must have played this moment a hundred times over in my mind, but nothing is as sweet as the feel of his lips claiming mine, the heat and desire blazing to life throughout my whole body.
He eases my lips apart and sinks his tongue deep into my mouth. I moan against him, arching up to press closer against his body. I can feel the taut muscle through his clothes, the gorgeous planes of his shoulders and back. His hands slide over my body, cupping my ass and molding me to him, until there’s not an inch of space between us. And all the while, his mouth is driving me crazy, teasing and demanding, his tongue sliding hotly against mine, igniting a fire in my bloodstream that spirals low between my thighs.
The sound of fireworks cuts through the haze. I pull away, breathless. Bursts of glitter and stardust light up across the bay, and there’s the sound of cheering inside. For a moment, I feel like the universe is celebrating our kiss, then I realize we kissed our way into the New Year.
Elation crashes through me. He kissed me back. I wanted a sign, and here it is: big neon letters saying “He wants you too.”
“That’s decided then,” I murmur to myself. Blake is standing there, looking shell-shocked. I smile. “Happy New Year.”
I turn on my heel, and quickly duck back into the house before I can ruin the moment. But just as quickly, my joy fades. Because now that I know there’s something between us, my feelings aren’t so safe anymore.
Loving him could destroy my friendships, my sense of family—everything that’s important to me in the world. Once we cross that line, there’s no going back.
So do I take that risk?
Three months later…
1.
“Bottled water…raw almonds…carrot sticks…” I speed down the aisle of the superstore, ticking them off the five-page list my boss sent. I’m trying to heave a twelve-pack of Perrier into the cart when my cellphone lights up.
“Where are you?”
It’s my boss, Kira, sounding panicked. Filming on the movie starts in two days, and we’re already way behind schedule.
“At the store, shopping for the actors’ dressing rooms.” I add an armful of Doritos to the haul; at least someone’s got taste.
“Thank God,” Kira exclaims. “Lila Moore’s agents just sent over a new item, very important, apparently she won’t work without them.”
“OK,” I brace myself. “What do we need?”
“M&Ms,” she tells me. “But no green ones. They said that’s the most important thing. Lila’s allergic to the coloring or something. She sees a green M&M, the whole day’s ruined.”
I giggle. “Seriously?”
Kira sighs. “Do I sound like I have time to joke?”
“No, sorry,” I apologize quickly. Kira is the most competent, organized woman I’ve ever met. If she’s close to the edge, things must be bad. “Anything else you need?” I check.
“Two more weeks of pre-production,” Kira says grimly, and then hangs up.
I don’t blame her for stressing. Forever Us, a new indie romance movie, was all set to start filming across the country, until their permits fell through. This last-minute location switch to Beachwood Bay means everyone is working at warp speed trying to get things ready in time. As Kira’s new production assistant, it’s my job to take care of all the little details while she makes sure the big picture doesn’t fall apart.