But I can’t do it. I don’t even want to try. Real is the part of my life I don’t want to remember, an echoing hospital hallway; the day the sun shone, too bright for the black coffins that lowered into the earth.
Real is dangerous. Real could unravel everything.
And Zoey, she’s more real than anyone I’ve known. Which means this can’t go any further.
It just can’t.
7.
Zoey
I need a new plan.
After Blake kisses me (for the third time), then turns around and pretends like it never happened (for the third time), I realize just spending time with him on set and hoping sparks fly isn’t going to cut it. There’s something holding him back from the connection between us, and it’s driving me crazy trying to figure out what’s going on behind those gorgeous blue eyes.
What is he fighting? Why can’t he just admit there’s something going on with us?
“It’s simple, darling,” my friend Elise sighs. We’re video-chatting on my phone, and even though it’s ten p.m. in Paris, she’s just getting ready to go out for the night. She multi-tasks, applying red lipstick as she talks to me. “Show up at his door wearing a trench coat, lingerie, and nothing else. Et voila!”
I laugh. “I can’t do that!”
“Why not?” she challenges me. “Men are simple creatures. If he’s overthinking this, then you need to give him a reason to stop thinking.”
I let out a wistful sigh. I may have grown a lot in the past couple of years, but there’s no way I’m brave enough to take Elise’s outrageous suggestion. “I’ll figure something out,” I say.
“Well, tell me, was it good?” Elise demands.
“What?”
“The kiss!”
I smile, melting at the memory of his lips on mine. “So good.”
She laughs. “Then maybe it’s worth taking a couple of risks to make it happen again. You don’t want to let the moment slip away!”
There’s a knock on the equipment trailer door. “Zoey?” Kira’s voice comes. “Break’s over! We needs those new pages out stat.”
“Coming!” I yell. I turn back to the screen. “Sorry, I have to go. Have fun tonight.”
“You too!”
I log off and run the printer, then quickly hurry back out to set. We’ve been shooting on the beach all week, filming the romantic summer scenes. Luckily, the weather has been perfect: bright sunshine and clear blue skies. Sure, the January winds are freezing us all to the bone, but the important thing is that it looks right.
They’re in the middle of shooting a scene now, so I creep quietly to the edge of the crowd and watch. Blake and Lila are strolling along the beach together, talking. It’s the day that their characters first meet, and they’re being cute and flirty, getting to know each other. The camera is mounted on a track beside them, swooping smoothly backwards as they splash in the shallow surf.
“So how are you enjoying the summer so far?”
I marvel at how Blake can stay so focused. There are two dozen people just a few feet away from him, but he gazes at Lila like she’s the only girl in the world.
The way I want him to look at me.
“It’s definitely looking up.” Lila smiles up at him.
I have to admit, as bitchy as she is on set, the minute the cameras start rolling, Lila is transformed. Those big blue eyes sparkle, and her smile is full of innocent laughter. She teases Blake coyly, splashing him playfully. Watching them together, I’m swept into the moment, seeing these two characters connecting for the first time.
I always knew Blake had that special something. Even years ago, barely out of his teens, he had the charisma that set the real actors apart from the wannabes. I know how hard he’s worked to get to this point, all the thankless walk-on roles and auditions he poured his heart into, only to get rejected over and over again.
Now, it’s all paying off for him, and I couldn’t be more proud.
“And, cut!” Dash yells. Suddenly, the fantasy is shattered. Lila lunges away from the water, her smile replaced with a scowl.
“Are you trying to give us all pneumonia? Betsy! Betsy!”
Her personal assistant comes running with a huge down jacket. She swaddles Lila up tight. “If I catch a chill and my nose gets red and streaming, it’s all your fault,” Lila accuses Dash.
He sighs. “Take five, everyone! Set up to roll again!”
Lila heads for her trailer, Betsy following behind. I jump back out of her way. Ever since the coffee incident, I’ve made sure to keep my distance.
I wait until she’s way up the beach before approaching Blake with the new script pages.
I brace myself. He’s been avoiding me ever since the kiss, but I can’t stay away forever. We’re both professionals, I remind myself. You’re just doing your job.
If my job includes gazing and lusting, that is.
“Hey,” I approach him. “Great scene, you both looked really good out there.”
Blake looks uncomfortable, “Uh, thanks.” He glances around, like he’s looking for an excuse to get away from me.
“Relax,” I tell him, acting like I kiss guys every other day. “I’m not here to talk about…you know. I just have to give you these.”
I hand him the script. He may be a great actor, but he can’t hide his relief that I haven’t mentioned the other night. “We can talk,” he offers reluctantly. “If you want to?”