CHAPTER 35
MAGGIE
I could feel Brady watching me all morning. It was a reminder not to speak where I could be seen. But it made me wonder: What would happen if West wasn’t the only person I spoke to? Would this end? Would he feel as if he didn’t have a special part of me anymore?
“You must be fucking him now.” I recognized Raleigh’s voice even before turning around to face her. I had gone to the restroom to wash my hands before lunch.
I glanced up into the mirror to see her glaring back at me with hatred. “It’ll end when he’s over his grieving. He’s using you to get through this thing with his dad. You don’t talk, so he likes it. Now you’re fucking him. He must like his girls silent when he fucks them now.”
I dried my hands on a paper towel then headed for the door. I wasn’t going to stand there and take it.
“When he’s over this, when he isn’t hurting over his dad, he’ll come back to me. We have a thing. He loves me. He just couldn’t deal.”
I continued ignoring her, and opened the door.
“He used to tell me he loved me when he was fucking me. Said I made him feel incredible. Nothing would ever be that good. Bet he doesn’t tell you he loves you, does he?” she said as I walked out the door.
I was glad I hadn’t been facing her when she’d said that. Because then she’d have seen the answer on my face.
As wonderful as my time with West had been last night, he never told me he loved me. He didn’t say much at all. When it was over, he held me to him. I enjoyed being in his arms. The one tear he’d let fall was, I believed, him dealing with his grief.
But maybe it had been about more than that.
Maybe I had been a mistake.
“There you are.” West’s voice always made my heart rate pick up. And especially now, with me worrying that maybe he did love Raleigh, I was happy he was here.
I glanced over to see him walking toward me. A frown touched his face as he got closer. “What’s wrong?” he asked when he reached me.
His hand cupped my face. I loved when he did that. It made me feel safe. Like his large hands could protect me.
The restroom door opened behind me, and I felt him tense. Oh God, he still reacted to her. He had loved her. I hadn’t known he had loved her. The feeling of safety left me, and I shook my head in answer to his question while simultaneously moving away from her. Away from him. Away from my confused emotions.
“Did you do that? Is she upset because you said something to her?” West was angry. I turned to see him glaring at Raleigh much the same way she’d glared at me. His glare was just more intense. And frightening.
Raleigh shrugged and flipped her dark hair over her shoulder as if nothing had happened. “I’ve moved on, West. I don’t care who you do,” she snapped at him before strutting away. I knew she didn’t mean what she’d said, but she was a great actress.
“She said something to you,” he said, closing the distance between us again.
I shrugged. “Nothing much. She’s just . . . not over you.”
He slid his hand over my hip. “Whatever she said, don’t listen to her. She’s trying to hurt me, and she’s figured out that hurting you will hurt me. That’s all.”
I didn’t think he was right about that, but I wasn’t going to correct him. Instead I changed the subject.
“I thought you’d be eating by now,” I said.
He smirked, then bent his head to kiss my lips once. “Not without you.”
Oh. I didn’t know what to think about that. What were we now? Had last night really changed us?
He put his hand on my back. “Come on. Let’s go eat.”
I went. Because I had no idea how to ask him what we were now.
“Missed you this morning,” he said, his hand not leaving me.
“We texted.” I reminded him of the many texts he’d sent me throughout morning classes.
“Can’t see your face in a text,” he replied.
The birds in my stomach woke up.
When we got to the cafeteria door, West reached in front of us and opened it, and we walked inside together.
Every eye in the place was on us . . . or it felt like it. I could feel people staring. Wondering what had happened with us. Why our friendship seemed more intimate now. I glanced over at his table, and Brady, Asa, and Ryker were all watching us. Gunner was the only one who didn’t find us entertaining. He was too busy glaring at his phone while he texted something.
I didn’t look at anyone else as we walked through the line. West’s arm went around my shoulders, and he tugged me close to him as he placed a kiss to my temple. Surprised, I glanced up at him, but suddenly he was looking at someone else with a scowl. Following his gaze, I saw that Nash had stopped to watch us, his tray in his hands.
Nash looked at me, then shook his head and walked off toward the table with the other guys. I was sure they’d seen that interaction between West and Nash. Would Brady make it okay with them now that West and I were . . . doing whatever this was?
“Is he mad?” I whispered. I didn’t want his friends upset with him. He needed their support right now.
“Don’t care. If he is, he’ll get over it.”
That wasn’t the answer I was hoping for.
He grabbed my tray and his, and we walked over to the table and our vacant seats in between Brady and Nash.
West sat down next to Nash, which was normally where I sat. He was making a statement today. I just wasn’t sure what it was yet.
“So, y’all are a thing now?” Gunner asked, dropping his phone onto the table and reaching for his soda. “Thought she was off-limits and shit.”
“Don’t,” Brady said before West could react. “This ain’t got nothing to do with you.”
Gunner seemed more amused than anything. He picked up his apple and smirked. “Sure don’t.” Then he glanced at Nash before taking a bite and grinning.
I wanted to be anywhere but here.
“I was wondering, though, Maggie. You got a date for the homecoming dance yet?” Gunner asked.
“Gunner, shit, man,” Ryker muttered.
I didn’t look up. I studied the fries I was about to eat and pretended like I didn’t hear him. I hadn’t thought about the homecoming dance. I’d seen the posters and I’d heard the announcements, but I wasn’t thinking about it. I’d never been to a dance. I didn’t expect to go to this one.
“She’s with me, Gunner. She’s going with me. Everywhere,” West replied. “Is that enough clarification for you?”
His hand slid over my knee and squeezed as he spoke.
“Well, that clears that up,” Asa said with a chuckle. “We gonna let this slide or what?”
I glanced up at Asa to see who he was talking to. His gaze was fixed on Brady.
My cousin simply nodded. Nothing else was said.
Talk of Friday’s game began to take over, and I eventually relaxed enough to eat most of my lunch.
She Had Become My Everything
CHAPTER 36
WEST
Coach had said I didn’t have to be at practice this week. Although, if I wanted to, I could still play in the game. He knew they needed me, and he also knew my dad would have wanted me to play. So, I’d play.
I had missed all the other practices, but I wasn’t going to miss this one. My grandmother was at my house by now, so I knew my mother wasn’t alone. It gave me some freedom, but it also was keeping me from my house. I didn’t want that woman there. She’d never visited, not once my entire life. We always had to go to her home. She rarely spoke to my father or acknowledged him.
I felt nothing for her.
But my mother loved her.
No one questioned me when I walked into the locker room to get my practice gear on. Some nodded, a few slapped me on the back, but no one said a thing. This was what I needed. If I couldn’t have Maggie with me all the time, then this was the only other way to keep my mind free of shit.
As I tied my cleats, I stood up to see Brady walking over to me. He wanted answers, and I wasn’t going to give them to him. What I’d told him this morning was his answer.
“How long has she been talking to you?” he asked in a hushed voice.
I grabbed my helmet and started walking to the door. “A while,” I replied.
“How long’s ‘a while’? Since the hospital . . . or before?”
“Before.”
Brady fell into step beside me. “That’s why you grew attached so fast, isn’t it? She’s been helping you deal with things. She’s been there.”
I didn’t reply. I didn’t know the answer. Maybe that was why I’d grown attached to her so quickly. Grief changed you. Made you react differently. But I didn’t want to say that I wouldn’t have wanted Maggie had she not spoken to me.
But would I have?
“You understand probably better than anyone what she’s gone through. If she’s told you stuff, it’s more than she’s told anyone else.”
He was right. She had, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
“She needs to talk to other people,” Brady added.
He wasn’t going to let up about this. I had to shut this down. Until Maggie was ready to talk, I wasn’t going to let anyone make her.