“You’ll survive and you’ll remember, but you’re never going to forget. One day you’ll be thankful for those memories. Thankful you don’t forget.”
West turned to look at me then. The anguish in his gaze made my throat tighten and my chest ache. “Only you. Only you, Maggie. I can’t imagine being able to let anyone else close to me. I’ve never been one to let people in. But something about you has gotten to me since the first moment I saw you. I just—” He shook his head as if he didn’t know what to say. “I can’t figure out how to handle it. You. What I’m feeling.”
“Do you remember the first time we met?” I asked him, unable to let it go. I wanted him to admit he remembered kissing me. Maybe I shouldn’t push that tonight, but at least it was a distraction. He needed that too.
A small smile tugged on his lips, and he looked away from me, back down at the town below us. “Yeah. Not exactly something a guy forgets.”
Okay. . . . Did that mean he remembered kissing me? Or that I didn’t used to talk?
“You’ve never mentioned that night,” I said, wanting more from him.
He turned his gaze back to me. “But I think about it all the time. Even though I shouldn’t. I think about it.”
That made me happy. Knowing he liked remembering that moment. Because it was one of my favorite memories, and I wanted him to think about it too.
“Do you think about it?” he asked.
I nodded but didn’t say anything else.
He took a step toward me, and my heart rate picked up. “Do you think about it often?”
If he got any closer, I wasn’t sure I would be able to continue breathing. The birds in my stomach were going crazy. Finally I nodded.
“Did you enjoy it?” he asked.
Oh God. I needed air. Lots of air. West was so close to me now, and he was asking me if I had enjoyed our kiss. I managed a nod, then blurted out, “Did you?” before I could stop myself.
He grinned. “Best I ever had.”
I stared up at him and held his gaze. “It was the only one I’ve ever had.”
West froze, and his sexy smolder turned to surprise. “What?” he asked.
I wanted him to know he was my first kiss. My only kiss. It was special to me. I wanted it to be special to him, too. “That was the first kiss I ever had. The only kiss I’ve ever had.”
West held my gaze as he looked at me with disbelief. Then he hung his head and muttered a curse before backing away from me. That was definitely not the reaction I’d wanted.
I wasn’t sure how to fix this. I was good at helping him deal with pain and sorrow because that was something I knew. I didn’t know much about boy-girl relationships.
I had just opened my mouth to say something when West lifted his face and turned back to me. Then he moved. I didn’t have a chance to react before his hands were on my waist and his chest was pressed against mine. “A girl’s first kiss should never be from an asshole who’s taking his anger at life out on her. Lips this sweet shouldn’t be treated the way I treated them. I can’t take it back, but I can replace it. With something better.” He dipped his head. “This is what your first kiss should have been like,” he whispered against my lips before his mouth covered mine.
His hands moved to cup my face as if I were something he treasured and didn’t want to break. Then his tongue slid across my bottom lip, and I opened up for him.
My hands slid into his hair as I held on to him. The warmth of his minty breath teased me and made me crave more. When the tip of his tongue slid along mine, I trembled in his arms.
His hands moved down from my face and grabbed my waist again as he jerked me closer to him and deepened the kiss. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of me. Not like I was any better. My hands fisted in his hair and were holding him to me. Afraid he’d leave me again. I wasn’t sure I could handle him regretting this. I didn’t want him to pretend like this hadn’t happened.
I heard a distant moan and realized it had come from me. West broke our kiss. He didn’t move far, just rested his forehead against mine while breathing heavily. “I take it back. This . . . this was the best I’ve ever had.”
My body hummed with pleasure. I had made him feel this way. Me. His friend. The girl he didn’t touch that way or look at with any kind of attraction.
I Would Not Lose Her
CHAPTER 30
WEST
I had just wanted to fix it. Make her first kiss something special. I didn’t want that kiss I’d taken while I was hurting to be her first fucking kiss. I just meant to give her what she deserved. But holy hell, she’d tasted even better than I remembered. Her body was meant to be worshiped. It molded so perfectly under my hands. And her sweet sounds. God help me, I wanted more of that. Of her.
Fuck.
I hadn’t meant to do that. What we had was more than this. More than a sexual attraction. More than something cheap. It was deeper, and I couldn’t lose it. If I had more with her, I would mess it up and I would lose her. But I couldn’t lose Maggie. I would do anything to keep her. Including not taking more of that mouth currently swollen and wet from my kiss.
“West?” she whispered. I could hear the unease in her voice.
I forced my hands to let her go.
“That . . . that was how it should have been,” I said, forcing myself to look at her but not grab her again.
Maggie touched her lips with her fingertips, and I swear to God my knees buckled a little. She had to stop doing sexy shit.