Emery glances at the scar on my throat, and her fingers start drifting toward my neck. Then her eyes widen, and she quickly draws back. “Sorry.”
“You’re fine.” I continue on, hoping my story will allow her to see the damage secrets can do instead of her ending up more scared of me. “I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t a saint. I had a lot of marks against me. Fights at school. Fights with some of my foster parents. Fights with a few police officers. I had a lot of anger in me for my parents giving me up, and I took it out on a lot of people. Ben was probably the first justifiable fight I’d been in, but the damage had already been done. People only saw me as the fucked up, angry guy I’d been in the past. That’s the thing—once you choose to be someone, it’s really hard to erase that choice. Is it possible? Sure. But it takes a lot of time.” Time that I need. That’s all that I want—time to be free and turn into the good person I’ve wanted to be.
“What about Aura?” Emery finally speaks, her voice as smooth as honey and her brows are furrowed in confusion. “Didn’t she tell the police what really happened?”
I shake my head. “She wouldn’t speak up. I’m not sure if it was because she was afraid or what, but it doesn’t really matter. She didn’t speak up, and I was sent to juvie for two years for assault.”
“That’s not fair,” she says furiously, sitting up straight on the bed. “She should have spoken up. The only reason you got into the fight in the first place was to protect her.”
“Not everything in life is fair.” I give a half-shrug. “When I think back, I remember how afraid she always was of Ben. I’m guessing that’s why she didn’t speak up—that he sort of silenced her with fear.”
I’m hoping two things will come out of my story. Learning a little bit more about me will hopefully get Emery to trust me more. And maybe she’ll realize that doing what’s right isn’t always the easiest thing. That she may be afraid of her father, but she still needs to speak up about the stuff he does. I want Stale to be wrong about her. Want Emery to be good.
“Fear is pretty toxic, isn’t it?” she mutters. “It’s hard to see past it.”
I nod, my gaze smoldering. “Yes, it is.”
She stares at me for a beat longer, and then her gaze zeroes in on my lips. “I’m so sorry that happened to you… Even if you do work for my father,” she whispers more to herself. “Adults can be so cruel to the people they take care of, can’t they?”
I nod, and then suddenly, her lips crash into mine. The kiss is as rough as the first one we shared, forceful, bruising. My muscles instantly tense from the connection.
Wrong. This has to be wrong. The last thing I should be doing is kissing Doc’s daughter, especially when I don’t even know the reason why I’m kissing her. Want. Need. Wrong. Right. Where’s the line?
Stop it. I need to stop it.
My brain must disconnect from my limbs because, instead of pulling away, I dive dangerously into the kiss. Emery gasps against my mouth and starts to move away, as if sharing the same protesting thoughts. Then she slips her fingers through the hair on the back of my head and kisses me with so much desperation my lip ring sears her lips.
“Oh, God… I’ve forgotten… how good… this feels,” she moans, her voice filled with fear and ecstasy.
The sound of her voice turns me on, hardening my cock in my jeans. Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to be inside her. I can’t cross that line, though, not when she doesn’t know who I truly am.
Every coherent, rational thought drifts from my mind, though when Emery spreads her legs and grinds against me. A throaty groan escapes my lips as she does the movement again.
Scorching with need, I slide my hand up her side and graze my thumb across the outside of her breast. Her nipple hardens from underneath the fabric, and I damn near lose control. I bite her bottom lip and thrust my hips against hers, eliciting another moan from her. The sound is mind blowing, and the feel of her body heat is like fucking nirvana. I want more. Need more. Need to keep going, need to forget for just two damn seconds all the shit going on.
So, I keep going, falling blindingly into an abyss I’m not sure I can get out of.
Emery and I move rhythmically together, our bodies aligning perfectly.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Perfect.
That’s what this moment feels like, even though perfection isn’t supposed to exist.
Gasping, our tongues and legs tangle together. My fingers circle one of her wrists and I start to move her arm above her head, but I pause when she winces.
“Don’t stop,” she begs, her fingers traveling down my stomach toward the button of my jeans. “Please, Ryler, don’t stop.”
The ache in her voice makes me go against the rational part of my mind. I start kissing her again with every single ounce of emotion I’ve kept trapped inside me since I first met her. As the lust, need, longing, aching pours out, I realize just how much I feel for Emery. So much so that I’m drowning in it.
Drowning.
Drowning.
Drowning.
So far down in the water I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to breathe again.
And I’m not sure I want to.
Chapter 11
Lost My Damn Mind
Emery
I’ve lost my damn mind, more than I already had. I don’t even know why I opened up to Ryler. He was saying all those things about Aura, and he seemed so human, so real. As someone who understands what it is like to have the people you care about hurt you, I momentarily forgot who he works for, saw a different side of him, one I almost feel like I can trust. Like me, Ryler has hurt someone unintentionally.