From where I was sitting, I heard Kiera say, “The third album is doing well, but the guys feel like it’s incomplete, you know? I mean, they can’t tour, they can’t do music videos, they can’t really promote it at all. I think it wouldn’t have done nearly so well without all the hype around the way Griffin…Well, he made quite an exit.”

There was a moment of silence, then Anna asked, “Couldn’t they just bring in someone else to tour with? I mean, I hate the idea, but they need to promote. I’m sure Griffin would understand.” Sure I understood. They were going to shove someone else in the shadows. I hoped he/she liked it there in the darkness.

“Matt feels like they should just let it go and start fresh. They’re having auditions this weekend, to replace…him…”

That was Rachel’s voice, from what I could tell. The girls were hanging around the pool in the backyard, splashing their feet in the water. I was in the living room with the doors open. For the fresh air, of course.

Jenny’s voice broke the stillness. “This is the second one they’ve had. So far…no one’s been a good fit. That’s what Evan says anyway. Personally, I think the guys just aren’t ready to move on. They keep hoping…”

Another pause, then Kiera spouted, “Is Griffin really going through with this, Anna?”

I glanced up to where I could just see the tops of their heads over the potted plants around the front of the pool. I wasn’t sure how Anna would answer her sister, but I hoped she gave her a resounding yes! I was absolutely going through with this; the guys should just suck it up…and move on. Even as I thought it, a confusing knot of anxiety started forming in my stomach.

Anna’s response was so quiet, I had to strain to hear her over Gibson singing along to the TV show she was watching. “Shhh, Gibby,” I snapped.

Stopping, she glared at me long enough so that I heard Anna say, “He’s excited about his show. He says it’s going to be bigger and better than the band, so, yeah…he’s really going through with it.”

The murmuring got quieter after that, and Gibson got louder, so I didn’t hear much more. I’d heard the truly important part anyway—they hadn’t found anyone yet.

Anna was in a wistful mood after the girls left Sunday morning. During lunch, she relayed all the pertinent information she’d gathered. “So, Jenny and Evan are starting to talk kids, which means they’re starting to talk wedding plans…but she’s really busy with the gallery, so they’re still in no hurry.”

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I gave her a brief smile in response, and she took that as, Please, tell me more! “Rachel was really quiet about her plans with Matt, but I bet they tie the knot soon. Maybe a winter wedding…that would be fun.” She sighed, and I couldn’t help but wonder…if Matt and Rachel really did walk down the aisle, would I be invited? You’re dead to me.

Shaking my head, I redirected my attention to Anna’s ramblings. “Kellan and Kiera are actively trying for another baby, so, you know what that means…” She giggled, and her lips curved into a knowing smile. Yeah, it meant Kellan was coming a lot. I’d rather be doing the same than listening to a rundown of their lives. They don’t want anything to do with me.

Putting down my cereal spoon, I told her, “Maybe it’s time we tried for another baby? Why don’t we try out some of those things in the Kama Sutra book you picked up?”

Anna’s eyes brightened, and I wasn’t sure which idea she liked more—kinky sex or another baby. “Can we go for another marathon session? I think it’s time we attempted to break our record.”

Standing up, I held my hand out for her. “We should get started then. I’ll grab the water…I have a feeling I’m going to need to be well hydrated for this.” Over my shoulder, I tossed out, “Alfred, watch the girls for a bit.” Anna was laughing as I pulled her away, and I was glad I’d suggested her having a girls’ weekend. I might have to put up with occasional visits from the D-Bags’ Bitches if it meant keeping my wife happy.

Chapter 14

Awesomesauce. For Best Results, Add Me

In between filming, rehearsing, and rerecording voice crap that hadn’t turned out right, I was doing interviews. Everyone was still going nuts over the whole band breakup. I didn’t really want to talk about it anymore, but talking about it gave me a chance to talk about my show—and that I did want to discuss.

Stretching out in my motorhome-trailer, I enjoyed a moment of peace and quiet while I waited to be called to the set again. There was a lot of standing around and waiting involved in this job. I hadn’t expected that. I hadn’t expected a lot of things, like pissy directors telling me I couldn’t convince an ape I was a human. He’d sent me to my trailer to “cool down,” after I’d informed him that his penis was more appropriately sized for a fruit fly than a dude. I’d even given him a friendly tip, that manscaping that shit would make it look bigger, but he hadn’t appreciated my thoughtfulness. Whatever. The break was nice anyway. My feet hurt.

I was just considering popping open a beer when the door to my trailer was knocked on. Was it time to return already? Ugh, I couldn’t yet. Maybe if I ignored them, whoever it was would go away. No such luck. The knock returned even louder. Damn it.

“Mr. Hancock? Are you in there?”

Recognizing Harold’s voice, I smiled and got up to get that beer. He wouldn’t be the one collecting me to go back on set. I had time. “Yeah. Come on in¸ Harry.”




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