“You okay?” I whisper.
He smiles, and I feel that smile everywhere.
“More than okay.” He presses a sweet kiss to my lips. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No. I’ll probably be a little sore, as it’s been a while, but it was totally worth it.” I press my hand to his cheek.
Taking ahold of my hand, he turns his face in and kisses my palm. “It was…amazing.” When he brings his eyes back to mine, the look in them is reverent.
“You sure?”
“Are you unsure?” he challenges, teasing in his eyes.
“No. I just…you haven’t since…” I trail off, leaving the words I don’t want to say hanging. “And I haven’t in two years, and I was never exactly a porn star in bed before that.”
Laughter bursts from him.
Even though I love the sound, it’s pissing me off right now.
“Hey!” I slap him on the arm.
“Sorry.” He gives me a sober laugh.
Then, he brushes his lips over mine. I keep them stubbornly closed for about two seconds before caving and kissing him back.
“This…you and me, together…is incredible. I’ve never known anything like what I just felt with you.”
I want to ask, Not even with Haley?
But I don’t want to bring her up and kill the mood, so I say nothing.
He must read something in my eyes because he says, “Haley and I were just kids. Sure, she wasn’t my first. I’d lost my virginity when I was fourteen with a girl who was a few years older than me, and I’d slept with a few girls that year before Haley and I got together. So, yeah, I had a little experience, but we were still young and didn’t have a clue what we were doing. I still don’t. And I should be the one worrying if I was good enough for you. I’ve never been in bed with a woman before you, Daisy.” His hand caresses my hip.
“Trust me”—I lift my head and brush my lips over his—“you definitely know what you’re doing.”
“I guess all those years of watching porn have finally paid off.”
It’s my turn to have laughter burst from me.
Kas wraps his arms around me and kisses me. “Let me just go clean up, and I’ll be back.” He brushes his nose over mine before kissing the tip of it, and then he pulls out of me.
I wince a little at the soreness, but I hate the loss of him inside me more.
“Could you bring me a cloth to clean up?” I ask.
“Sure.”
I watch him walk to the bathroom and sigh. He has a great butt. Really tight and firm. And those shoulders…drool.
Kas disappears inside. I hear running water. He’s not gone for long before he’s coming back with a washcloth in his hand.
I reach to take it from him, but he moves his hand away.
“Let me.” He presses the warm, damp cloth between my legs, gently cleaning me.
I watch him, amazed at the depths of my feelings for this man I referred to as Kas-hole.
“The first time I met you…I never thought we’d be here.”
He stops cleaning me and looks at me with tender eyes. “I’m glad we are.”
“Yeah, me, too,” I whisper as my heart bumps clumsily around in my chest.
“All clean?” He checks.
I nod.
He takes the cloth back to the bathroom. I climb in under the duvet. Kas returns and climbs into bed beside me. He wraps me in his arms, so we’re face-to-face.
He softly kisses me. I press my hand to his chest, touching his scars. I feel him tense.
“I don’t see them,” I whisper. “I don’t look at you and those scars independently. I just see you.”
“I see them,” he murmurs. “And I hate them.”
I slide my hand over his chest and around to his back. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he says, but his eyes don’t look sure.
But I have to ask, so I take a breath and start talking, “I mean, I think I understand why you didn’t want me to see the scars. Because of the way they make you feel about yourself, and you hate them. But then I remembered that day when I walked in on you and Jude sparring. Your back was to me, and you didn’t have a shirt on that day. You went and put one on before I saw anything, but obviously, you had been shirtless around Jude. So, why do you feel okay with him seeing them?”
His eyes close briefly before reopening. “Well, I didn’t want to have sex with Jude, for starters.” He gives me a slight smile. “And Jude knows everything that happened. He’s the only other person who does—aside from my parents and, of course, you.”
“How long have you known him?”
“We met at group therapy when we were eighteen. I was seeing a therapist, but he also ran a group session for people who were suffering with various types of PTSD. He thought it would be good for me to join his group. Jude was also a patient at the group session. We got to talking and just clicked. He was the one who got me into parkour.”
“What about MMA?”
“That was me. I wanted to be able to”—his eyes skim away from me—“defend myself and the people I care about. Jude came along with me and found that he liked it, too.”
“You’re a team.” I smile softly.
“Yeah.” His eyes find mine again. “He’s a good friend.”
I don’t ask why Jude was in therapy because it’s none of my business. I’m just glad that Kas has him in his life.