It didn’t matter. She didn’t have it in her to turn down the woman who had been like another mother to her. And if Todd wasn’t okay—it didn’t bear thinking about—she had to get there. Had to tell him she was sorry for all the things she’d said, even if she told him as he lay unconscious.
“Sandra, I’ll be there. But it’ll take me… God. Hours.” Enough to get a flight, fly eight hours, drive another two to get home from the airport. She could only pray that he would pull through, that she wouldn’t be too late. “Is there no one else you can call to stay with you in the meantime? I’m worried about you. Can you call any of his friends, or”—she had to force herself to say the name—“Courtney?”
Sandra paused a moment, as if amazed Kelsey would make the suggestion. “I would, but I don’t have any of their numbers. I don’t know where Todd’s cell phone would be, probably still in the wreckage.”
Kelsey chewed her bottom lip and threw a glance at Evan’s BlackBerry, resting on the bar that separated the kitchenette from the living room. Would he…? “Maybe I can get Courtney’s. And she can call everyone else for you. Hold on.”
She’d deleted all of Todd’s contact numbers from her phone in a rush of fury long ago, even though she still had them in her head. Maybe Evan hadn’t been so impulsive. She picked up his phone and went directly to the C’s in his contact list, finding, sure enough, a slew of numbers for her. Boutique, home, cell, cabin… It was hard not to feel a twinge even as the information helped her at the moment. She recited Courtney’s cell and home numbers through gritted teeth to Sandra, who thanked her profusely. But she had one more request, one that made Kelsey put a palm to her forehead.
“Do you think you can get hold of Evan for me? I really want to talk to him. The man who hit Todd was drunk. The police told me he’s already on felony probation for drunk driving. He’s in jail, and I want to make sure he stays there.”
Kelsey glanced toward the bedroom again. “Yes, I think I know how to reach him.”
“Good, good. You’re still coming too?” she asked, fresh tears in her voice. “Please, Kelsey, if you can, I need you here. If he…”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine. He has to be.” What a happy reunion this would be. “I’ll be at least twelve hours, but I’m coming.”
They said their good-byes and well wishes. Still trying to squelch her tremors, she walked into the bedroom and rubbed Evan’s bare arm where he lay on his stomach in bed. It was dark except for the dim light from the living room, but he must have sensed her distress somehow, either through her trembling hand or her rapid breathing. Or simply through being totally attuned to her, as he usually was. He lifted his head and squinted at her. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to go home.”
Evan managed to get them on a red-eye out of Honolulu. Kelsey, her hair up and her face scrubbed of makeup, took her seat and watched as he stowed their carry-on bags overhead. He hadn’t had much to say since she woke him, and even now his face was grim, his jaw set. Not that she expected him to be overjoyed about this. She certainly wasn’t.
“I’m sorry,” she said, probably for the thousandth time, as he finished the chore and settled beside her.
“I told you, it’s fine. You need to be there.”
She sighed and pushed back in her seat, stretching her legs. They’d been sitting at the airport for what felt like hours, though it hadn’t been that long. He’d told her again and again that he understood. But she knew if the situation were reversed—if it were Courtney’s bedside he was rushing to—she could only imagine how it would feel. “I need to say it for the rest of my life, though. I’ve ruined your trip.”
“It wasn’t ruined, just cut short a couple of days. We’ll make up for it someday.”
Someday. It sounded too vague. Too distant, too undecided. She had a helpless feeling, like she’d touched heaven and was now watching it slowly recede from her sight. Fantasy had become her home for several days, and only upon leaving it was she realizing how safe and warm it had been. This plane would touch down in Reality. Cold and hard.
Kelsey took his hand, desperate for some reassurance, some comfort. He linked his fingers through hers. She’d been hoping for that response, but still it felt empty.
“He’ll be okay,” he said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
She hoped so with all her heart, but that hadn’t been the assurance she was looking for from him. “I think so, too.” She nodded, watching other passengers file in. It didn’t look to be a full flight. “I mean, it’s a pretty good sign they didn’t have to airlift him, right? But I could tell Sandra is really scared. How was she when you talked to her?”
“Pretty much the same. And angry, too. But of course she would be, given what she’s been through. She was practically like another mom to me growing up. It’ll be good to see her again, just not under these circumstances.”
Kelsey tore her absent gaze away from the vomit bag in the pocket in front of her—she hoped she wouldn’t need it at some point—and looked at him. “You’re going to the hospital with me?”
“Unless you don’t want me there.”
“Of course I do, I just…”
“Just…thought I didn’t care?”
“No.” Kelsey sighed miserably. “Courtney will probably be there, you know.”
“I can deal with Courtney. Can you?”
“I suppose to avoid getting an assault charge in the hospital waiting room, I’ll have to deal with her. Can’t have you prosecuting me,” she added in a lame attempt to lighten the mood.
He chuckled, then let go of her hand to pull his white cap low over his eyes and tilt his seat back. “Try to get some sleep.”
“Yeah.”
But she couldn’t. She watched the lights slip by their window as they taxied. She breathed through the force pressing her back in her seat as they took off—she secretly hated to fly. Evan had kept her well entertained on the journey over, but now she was on her own. The ground fell away. The twinkling lights of Honolulu dropped from under them, growing more and more distant until there was nothing but the endless black void of the ocean below. How had things gone so horridly wrong over the space of a couple of hours? One minute Evan was making love to her, the next they were on a plane headed home and acting little better than strangers. Surely it was a bad dream, all of this. She would wake up in his arms any minute. Any minute now…
Her vision blurred and she shivered, wrapping her arms around herself until a flight attendant noticed and brought her a blanket.
It didn’t help.
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” Kelsey asked as Evan opened the glass door to Mannville Memorial’s lobby for her. Even before they stepped over the threshold, that sterile hospital scent rushed out on a blast of air-conditioned air to swamp her. She didn’t mind the smell so much when the visit was a happy one, like for the birth of a baby—and it looked as if she would get to visit Lisa in the hospital after all—but when a life hung in limbo, it was all the more stagnant and depressing.