Tomorrow.
You’re thinking again, she chided herself.
They climbed out of bed and padded into the bathroom. As he turned on the water in the shower she got her first thorough look at his fully naked physique and felt her heart drop to her feet. Damn…
He’d been downright edible in his boxer briefs out by the hot tub, and that had been in the dark. Now she could hardly breathe. His sports had always been track and swimming, tennis and baseball, and they’d certainly leant to his trim, firm build. There wasn’t an ounce of bulk on his frame, just as she liked. He could’ve been an underwear model, only she preferred him like this, without a stitch on.
When he stood to the side to let her enter the shower first, her gaze fell to the dark nest of hair at the juncture of his thighs. The sight made her want to hit her knees right there on the cold bathroom floor and take him into her mouth, suck him until he exploded down the back of her throat.
What else was he going to teach her about herself? One night with him and she was climaxing vaginally and contemplating blowjobs, she thought with a wry smile. Unbelievable.
The hot spray hit her as she stepped into the shower and she nearly moaned in pleasure, ducking her head so that it ran over her hair and down the back of her neck in tickling rivulets. Evan entered behind her and reached around so he could pick up her shampoo bottle from the little shelf in front of her. After a moment, his sudsy hands sank into her hair, pulling it gently into a ponytail before piling it atop her head so he could work the lather in. She did moan when his fingers massaged her scalp. He did it for a long time, certainly longer than was necessary to clean her hair. God, but the man must love giving her pleasure. He’d given her enough tonight for a lifetime, and still she wanted more.
“Turn around, honey,” he said, just as she was beginning to contemplate falling asleep while standing. She obeyed, her br**sts brushing his chest as she turned. Her gaze lifted to his face while he smoothed her hair back from her forehead, making sure the water rinsed all the suds out. His expression was intent on the task, his touch raising gooseflesh despite the steamy heat billowing around them.
“Evan…” she murmured, feeling that damned fullness rise in her throat again. Would she never purge it all?
He gently wrung out her hair and looked down into her face. Even through her mental turmoil a little part of her marveled at the beauty of his striated green eyes. “What is it, sweetheart?”
“It breaks my heart what they did to you, no matter how you feel about it. If Todd had to hurt me, fine, but I can’t forgive him for what he did to you.”
“I’m resilient, Kelsey. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I know. But I didn’t see you for a long time after it happened. I was worried about you, but I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me.”
“It wasn’t you. That week was crazier in more ways than one. I lost what was supposed to be a slam-dunk aggravated robbery case.”
Oh, God. Had it been her fault? She shouldn’t have reacted the way she had, calling him like that, getting him upset in the middle of a trial. It just kept getting worse and worse. “Because of what happened. I’m so—”
“Shh. No. I’d already rested my case and the defense was thin, to say the least. It was just one of those things, I guess. And I had let it go, until the next month, when the defendant who got off allegedly broke into a woman’s house, robbed her and raped her.” His eyes darkened. “And it’s my fault, because for whatever reason, I didn’t do a good enough job to put him away. That crushed me more than anything Courtney could have done.”
Her heart cracked again, lost another piece. How selfish she’d been. “Did they catch the guy?”
“Yeah. Of course the bastard has pled not guilty. I wanted the case, but the DA advised me to step away. Said I’ve made it personal now.”
“Have you?”
“Of course I have. How could I not? But will that cloud my judgment or trip me up and get me flustered? Hell, no. I’m better than that. What I hate is the idea of someone arguing that case who doesn’t make it personal.” Consternation flickered across his features. “You know, you’re the first person who’s asked me that, instead of automatically jumping to my defense and telling me my superior is just being an ass. You’re the first to not try to tell me I shouldn’t feel the way I do about losing.”
“Because I can understand,” she said softly. “And it’s not your fault, but I know you, you’ve always had a soft heart for victims. I just wish I’d known what you were going through.”
“I wanted to call you more than I did, but I thought it might upset you to hear from me. I guess that was stupid of me. I also realized after what happened that I needed to work through some things on my own.”
“Things were…so screwed up,” she agreed. “That day I saw you in court at my divorce hearing…I just wanted to die.” She took a breath, knowing how awful that sounded. But she couldn’t sum up the misery of that horrible day any other way. He’d been the only bright spot and even he had burned.
“I’m sorry if my being there was a trigger for you,” he said, pulling her back to the present. “Just our bad luck I was the one handling pleas that day.”
“No, it’s all right. I was glad you were there, but…I can’t explain. Ashamed that you were seeing me there, like that.”
“Honey, don’t ever be ashamed with me. Haven’t we been through enough without that having to factor in? I’ve never once judged you for anything that happened.”
“I know that. But my pride was hanging somewhere around my ankles that day. I don’t think anyone could have rescued it.”
He smiled, and though it was just a sweet curving of his lips, it was akin to the sun breaking through thunderheads. He trailed his finger down her cheek. “I always thought this, but I see now more than ever that Todd was one crazy son of a bitch for letting you go. He traded fire for ice.”
He couldn’t know what those words meant to her. She sighed as she agonized over what she wanted to tell him next. Absently, she picked up his bottle of body wash and squeezed some into her hands, lathered it and began soaping his chest. “I thought about it a lot, and I finally came to the decision that they needed one another because they’re just alike. Careless and selfish. But…”
He waited patiently, and she was certain her touch helped him out with that, because he smiled and closed his eyes as she moved her hands over his shoulders and down both his biceps. She took just as much pleasure in the concentration of his masculine scent wafting into her nostrils.
“I have to be honest,” she went on hesitantly. “Now I know…I wouldn’t have married him if I’d known what I was missing out on.”
She continued soaping him, and he reached for her conditioner and finished washing her hair. “He was your first,” he said after a moment. It wasn’t a question.
“Yes.” She eyed him suspiciously. “He never told you that, did he?”
“No. I just always…knew, or at least suspected. You never dated anyone, or even showed any interest in anyone, until him.”
Because of you. She wondered briefly if he actually knew her better than anyone else on earth. If felt that way sometimes. Certainly no one else understood what she’d been through like he did. Not Lisa, not her family.