Jesus. Where do I even start?
I follow my parents into the kitchen, where Mom starts a pot of coffee. Thirty minutes later I have it all laid out.
My rush to get home, the exhaustion that months of stress and worry had placed on my shoulders, and the feelings that seeing her with another man had rushed to the surface.
“I snapped. There isn’t an excuse, but fuck. I let my jealousy get the best of me.”
“Not an excuse, but it’s forgivable, Cohen. It couldn’t have been easy being away when you knew that you’re needed at home. I get what you’re saying, but that still doesn’t explain how you rushed to the thought that she was with another man,” Mom says with a sigh. “It wasn’t right, but given everything you’ve been through, I understand.”
“You need to talk to her, son. Don’t let this fester,” Dad adds when she finishes talking.
“I know. I know.”
It’s been four hours since I walked in and assumed the worst. The fact that I’m about to be a father hasn’t even settled in now that the relief that I was horribly wrong is still fresh in my system.
“Do you want to talk about it, son? How you’re feeling? I know it’s a lot to take in.”
I look over at my dad and sigh. Not for the first time, I realize just how lucky I am that he found my mom and, in turn, found me. He’s been my rock since I was three—my hero—and the man I’ve always hoped I could just be half as good as.
“I’m going to be a father,” I gasp, holding on to the countertop with a white-knuckled grip. “Holy shit,” I breathe.
Dad laughs, and Mom smiles. It isn’t lost on me that they’re excited about this news.
“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?” I question.
Dad opens his mouth to respond, but Mom beats him to it. “I talked to Izzy about it last week and she said that Dani had refused to find out. She said that she didn’t want to know unless you were right there with her to find out at the same time. She held strong on that she didn’t want to know until you were home—or obviously if she went into labor. Izzy said that Dani believed that you were going to be missing so much that she didn’t want to take that away from you.” Mom smiles and leans against my dad’s side.
“Shit,” I puff, once again feeling the extremes of my rushed judgment.
Even through everything she’s been going through alone, she still put me and my feelings ahead of her own. I’m sure she wants to know what we’re having, and that she wanted me there badly enough to wait for something that huge is humbling. And it makes me feel like an even bigger jackass for even thinking that she had been with another man. The girl saved herself for me for almost twenty-two years.
“I think I need to go to my girl,” I state. “Shit. What if she’s so pissed she isn’t even willing to hear me out?”
“Son, the one thing I know from experience is there is no problem too big for true love to conquer. Just take a look around you. Everyone you know has been faced with a challenge in their relationships. Challenges that, even at the time, felt unbeatable, but if what you had—for however brief before you left—gave you even a sliver of promise that I think it did, then you don’t stop until you fix what’s broken.”
When I don’t speak, Mom picks up where he left off. “You’ve been pushing her away for years, my sweet boy. I know you struggled with how you felt for her, so it was no shock for me when I found out that you two had finally come together. I hurt for you—so badly—when you had to leave before you two even got started, but I knew, I just knew, that you two had that ‘staying power’ kind of love that I felt when I met your dad. Nothing—and I mean nothing—can change that. You’re going to screw up—that’s a promise—but all that matters is that you work your hardest to fix it.” She walks over and wraps her arms around me. Standing on her toes, she kisses me on my stubbled cheek. “You, my darling boy, need to stop thinking that you aren’t allowed to feel the way you do for the woman you love. It was only a shock to her hardheaded father, but according to Izzy, he’s admitted how to-the-moon happy he is that his baby girl has found a man he truly thinks is worthy of her love.”
That feeling I had in my throat earlier comes back, but this time, I’m able to clear my throat and push it down. Hope is blossoming in my chest at her words.
“I know you’re eager to go find her, but I think we need to address a few things before you leave, son . . . alone.” He gives Mom a look, and she returns it with a small, worried nod.
“I’ll leave you two. I love you, Cohen. I’m so happy that you’re home safe.”
I give her a hug, bend to kiss her cheek, and follow my dad into his office.
He shuts the door behind him and walks to lean against his desk. “You aren’t going to like this, Cohen.”
“I figured as much when you mentioned this needed to be done without Mom. I’m guessing she doesn’t know?”
“She knows enough that she’s aware of the issues that have been going on. However, she doesn’t have a single clue at how dire they’ve become as of today. I’ve got to say, you have incredible timing, son.”
He takes a deep breath, and without thought, I steel myself for whatever news he has to share with me. I’m guessing that it has everything to do with that ominous message from Chance and the chat with Axel. The one that was instrumental in having Krajack rush my assignments and my ass back home in record time.
“You know about the flowers. The first note she got was shocking enough that it’s had everyone on high alert. She hasn’t been alone, not even for a second.” He walks around the desk, hits a few keys, and turns the computer so I can see the scanned document.
My skin crawls in outrage and anger when I read the words. When I think about how Dani must have felt when she saw this, my heart starts to beat wildly. Fuck. I should have been here for this. I should have been here to protect her from harm and I wasn’t. That is my burden to bear and one I’ll work every day for a lifetime and then some to make up for.
“Is this the last of it?” I ask through clenched teeth.
“Not even close.”
“Explain,” I spit, my mind going into survival mode, and the hunter I’ve been trained to be fights for control.
“After the note, she passed out.” He holds his hands up when I open my mouth to explode. “Stop and listen, Cohen. Don’t go off half-cocked until you know all the facts. Now that you’re home, you need to know what you’re up against.”