I bit my lip as the swear-word whispered across my neck.
His teeth caught the top of my ear. “You wanted me that night…just like you want me now.”
I’d been so confused. Lusting for things I hadn’t understood—loving his strength and cruelty despite despising it.
“I was so sure you’d take me.”
I moaned as Q planted his hands on the table, trapping me completely. “You had no idea how much I wanted to. After letting you go, I pulled out my c**k and came, all over myself.” His h*ps rolled again, his mouth latching onto my neck. “Fuck, I wanted you. I wanted to string you up and make you beg. I wanted to drive so deep inside you you’d never forget me.”
My knees wobbled; everything inside liquefied.
In a possessive move, Q placed a thigh between my legs. With a kick he opened my stance, driving his thigh to connect with swollen aching hotness. I jolted the second his na**d skin touched my pu**y, granting something to rub against—something to tame the burning in my core.
Unashamedly I rocked, letting my head fall back. “Q…”
One hand suddenly wrapped in my hair, yanking my head sideways, leaving my jugular exposed. Q breathed hot on my brand, itching it, scorching it. “Everything I did that night is nothing compared to what I’m going to do today.” His thigh pressed harder, forcing me to grind.
My breathing stuttered loving the pressure, riding his leg like some wanton creature. Q placed both hands around my neck.
I froze, very aware of the power he had—the way he held my life in his fingers. An endless second ticked past where he didn’t move, then his hands tightened, squeezing.
“I’ve just had an epiphany, esclave.” His voice sounded far away.
I swallowed, struggling a little with his tight grip. My heart thrummed but it wasn’t panicked. I trusted him—having him dominate only made me wetter.
“You’re truly not scared of what I want to do—and in a way that strips me of the need to hurt you.” His voice ebbed and flowed, quietly sorting through his thoughts. “But at the same time, it gives me the freedom I’ve been looking for all my life.”
His hands slowly dropped, spreading from my neck to my shoulders.
I gasped as his fingertips became nails, marking me with shallow grazes. Every touch hurled me into a hotter fire than the one before.
“And with freedom comes both relief and annoyance.” His hands suddenly dropped to the knot in my towel, tearing it free. The moment my br**sts were exposed, he cupped me boldly. Weighing my sensitive flesh in his palms, he rolled my ni**les with dexterous fingers.
I bucked in his hold, my eyelids growing heavy.
The cloud I existed in thickened, swirling with intense power. Q’s touch turned from pleasuring to orgasmic. Every twist and tug flamed my sensitivity, sending shockwaves erupting from my chest directly to my core. Every roll of his thumbs echoed in my clit, linking both erogenous zones like I’d never experienced.
“Ah.” I bit my lip, seeking more, chasing the promise of release. “Harder.”
His fingertips pinched my ni**les. I thrust backward, spreading moisture on his thigh, rubbing against his erection.
He hissed, squeezing my br**sts. “I always thought when I got you like this, I wouldn’t be able to hold on. But what happened in the hotel—it’s strengthened my control. It’s stolen some of the craziness deep inside.”
He removed his thigh from between my legs, giving me nothing to rub against.
I growled under my breath, frustration hot in my blood. “What happened in the hotel was consensual, Q. Just like now—I want you to lose control.” I arched my back, wedging his c**k harder into my ass. “Lose it. Give it to me. The pill you gave me makes me crave everything about you. Sweet and safe isn’t what I want.”
He froze. “You’re saying you only want this because I drugged you?”
My eyes fluttered open, real life intruding on our sensual world. “No. I want this because I’m so horny. I want this because I miss you.”
His hand fisted in my hair, holding me still. “Do you remember me saying that—before everything that just happened? I told you I missed your fight—your spirit. Do you forgive me for making you believe? Do you forgive me for giving you substances against your will?”
His voice changed my heartbeat from slow and heavy to fast and light. “What do you want me to say? That I wasn’t terrified at swallowing something I didn’t know? Fine. I was. Petrified. I don’t know what you did to make me see Leather Jacket. I don’t know what happened between us while I was in some other dimension. I have no idea where we are. I don’t know why my entire body feels as if every touch is a tiny orgasm. I have no idea about anything.”
I stayed frozen, still held by Q’s fist. “But I don’t need to know. All I need is to trust you. And I do. Isn’t that enough?”
“No. It isn’t,” Q muttered, tugging on my hair. “You think you trust me—but I’m not so sure.” He bit the sensitive skin behind my ear. “I know what happened between us—I know what I almost did, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea to step into the dark so soon.”
My anger—that had been missing for so long—sprang into being. “Don’t. You can’t.”
“Can’t what, esclave?”
“You can’t deny me. I’m finally giving you the opportunity to bring me into your world and now you’re chickening out.” I stomped my foot, the haze in my brain tinging everything with red. “Take me. I’m not asking; I’m demanding.”
He chuckled. “Is that a threat, Tess?”
His tone shot right through my heart, granting equal measures of hot and cold. Yes. Say yes. Push him. Force him. My pu**y clenched, hungry for sex. “Yes, it’s a threat. It’s about time you punished me. I’ve been bad—I deserve everything you can give.”
His heat disappeared as he took a step away, spinning me to face him. My back slammed against the table as the towel fell from my body, puddling on the floor. “Punish you? Why the f**k do I need to punish you?”
My chest fluttered, sucking in shallow breaths. The word ‘punish’ echoed in my brain.
Punish.
Punish.
I blinked. Didn’t he realize I knew he’d struggled with me hurting him? For weeks he’d shut down, dealing with whatever issues I’d put between us. I’d shut him out, made him doubt. I’d damaged him. “For that night,” I said, not needing to elaborate.
Q snarled. “You think I’m still hung up on that?” He gripped my hips, digging his fingers painfully. “You let me bring you back to life. I couldn’t be more f**king grateful. And if you knew what I’d done only an hour ago, you’d know it’s not you who needs forgiveness.”
His voice softened, something dark filling his eyes. “I told you never to lie to me, but I lied to you.”
What? My heart lodged in my throat. I frantically searched his eyes. “Why? How?”
He shook his head slowly and with such finality all my pixie dust and lustful haze disappeared, leaving me a block of ice. “Q?”
Looking deep into his gaze, I shrank away at the bleak resolution reflecting there. “It wasn’t what I said—it was what I thought. All this time, I’ve been annoyed at you for not trusting me. And now you do trust me…but I’m not sure I trust you.” Sighing, he pressed the tip of his nose against mine. “I accept everything you’re giving me. I want to let go—not fully, as I don’t have the power to come completely undone—but enough to show you what I need. I want to hurt you. I want to make you cry—I want to punish you, Tess, but I don’t trust you’re doing it for the right reasons. I think you’re doing this entirely for me and not for us.”
Was that true? Am I giving him my pain, with no limitations, purely for his pleasure?
No, I didn’t believe that. I’d been so wary of everything Q had to offer up till now. I’d wanted it but skated around it at the same time. This time…I truly wanted to fling myself head first into his world. And his refusal frustrated the hell out of me.
With gentle fingers, I hooked them into his towel, fumbling to undo it. His eyes darkened as the damp fabric fell away from his hips, leaving him naked, crowding me against the table.
“No more thinking. Put our demons to rest right here, right now. Let me prove you can trust me. I’m done being scared, Q. I’m done being weak. I’m going to love everything you give me. I’m going to scream and come and cry. And then I’m going to fall in love with you even more and demand you marry me the moment the sun rises tomorrow.”
Q shuddered, looking as if he wanted to strike and consume all at once.
I froze, waiting to see if he would kiss me.
He didn’t.
“Do you know what hurt the most?” he muttered.
“No.” I worried he’d slipped into insecurity, talking himself out of whatever was about to happen.
“It was your willingness to hand over your sanity and happiness. And now you’re doing it again and it’s f**king with my head—”
“I’m not doing it again. I really—”
He bared his teeth. “I haven’t finished. Don’t interrupt.”
I dropped my eyes, flushing with heat.
“You’re f**king with my head, but this time…I believe you. I believe you’re doing this for you, too. I believe you do want me to make you scream, and I’m going to f**king love it.” He gave me a half smile looking like the true devil in the darkness. “Does that scare you?”
There was no lie. No half-truth. “No.”
His body shifted; the air filled with promise. In one swift move, Q spun me around, imprisoning me against his front and the table. The edge of the wood dug into my h*ps as he folded over me, pressing his chest on my back until my br**sts squashed against the felt.
With nothing between us, his skin burned mine, intoxicatingly delicious.
“Good answer. This time— Je te crois.” I believe you.
My heart sprouted feathery wings, tickling my chest in hope. “You’re going to give in?”
“I’m going to give in, but not let go.”
Okay, that would have to do for now. “You’re going to trust that I want this as much as you?”
His hands trailed over my sides. “I’m going to trust you, esclave.”
“You’re going to punish me?”
“I’m going to punish you.”
“How?” I whispered.
Q paused. “How?”
“How are you going to punish me? I want to hear you say it.” Locking eyes with his over my shoulder, I squirmed against the table, dropping my hand to my front, touching the wet heat between my legs.
Q’s nostrils flared, his gaze riveted on my disappeared hand. “Tess—fuck.”
I’d missed this—taunting, provoking. He may be in control, but I had all the power. I moaned as I stroked downward, loving how slick he’d made me.
Harsh fingers latched around my wrist, yanking my hand away. Anger decorated his face, along with sharp-edged desire. “That’s not yours to play with. That’s mine. And I’ll tell you how I’m going to f**king punish you. I’m going to taste every inch of you. I’m going to steal all your inhibitions. You’re going to come on my fingers, tongue, and cock. You’re going to unravel, Tess, and I’m going to lick up every drop.”
His hand twisted my neck, tilting me sideways to kiss me. His mouth crashed against mine, swallowing my moan, locking his arms around me. I couldn’t do anything but accept his brutal assault. I skipped from reality the moment he caught my tongue, sucking as if every inch of my mouth belonged to him.
I knew what I was letting myself in for. I knew Q wouldn’t take it easy on me. I also knew I never wanted anything more in my life.
Kicking my ankle, Q spread my legs, positioning his c**k right in the centre of my ass. Breaking the kiss, he growled, “Time for talking has ended, esclave. Now’s the time for f**king.”
He’d said something similar just before whipping me on the cross. A thrill shot through my blood; I melted.
A hand landed on my ass, bringing with it flames and thunder. I jolted in his arms, biting my lip against the pain. “I’m going to own every inch of you tonight. Including your mind.”
I couldn’t breathe. Even the purple clouds floating in my blood couldn’t stop one question blaring in my head.
Do I still want this?
Did I still want pain or had that been false bravado—making me believe my own lies.
Q’s hand came down again, striking me in the same place, igniting a bonfire. My eyes prickled with tears even as the fire from my skin slowly migrated into my blood, heating me, dissolving every inch of my past.
Yes. Yes, I do.
The knowledge sent my h*ps rolling, provoking Q as I wiggled.
He struck me again, lower this time, more thigh than ass, but it felt just as good. A stinging good—a pain I’d forgotten how to compute, but my body remembered. I gave myself over to it. I wanted to turn my mind off completely.
“Who f**king hurt you, esclave?” Q demanded, striking me again.
Huh? I blinked, clawing my way back to conscious thought. Looking over my shoulder, I locked with his wild eyes. It took a moment for the question to sink in, but then I knew. I knew what he wanted.
For the first time, I let myself get angry. Terribly, ridiculously angry. At them. I snarled, “They did.”
Q narrowed his eyes, breathing hard. “Who caused you agony?” His hand stroked my burning skin before slapping me again—the hardest one yet.