Enduring his fellow students’ snide comments was better than listening to his father and grandfather’s argument. When Anton was Nathaniel’s top advisor, he fantasized they wouldn’t argue; they would work together, conspire and collaborate to make Rawls Corporation the greatest industry America ever saw. Exxon, General Motors, and Mobil wouldn’t hold a candle to the possibilities of Rawls with Nathaniel and Anton at the helm.

Just before reaching the entertainment center of the house, Anton turned the corner to meet his grandmother. “Anton, where are you headed in such a hurry?”

“Grandmother, I didn’t mean to be going so fast. I guess I’m just thinking about other things.”

“Of course you are. You’re a growing young man. You probably have a lot of things on your mind, perhaps a young woman?” Anton didn’t reply. Sharron continued, “Are you planning on watching television downstairs?”

“Yes, it’s the final season of Hawaii Five-O. I didn’t want to miss the show.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of that show. May I watch it with you?”

Anton feigned a smile, of course he wouldn’t tell her no. Nevertheless, he didn’t want her there. Not because he didn’t love his grandmother, but because she’d talk throughout the entire program. He much preferred quiet. Nonetheless, he responded, “Sure, come on down.”

Sharron followed her grandson toward the seldom used television room. Once they reached their destination, Anton turned on the large television, and Sharron settled onto the soft sofa. It was then she asked, “Nathaniel, what is it we’re watching?”

Anton exhaled and turned to his grandmother, “We are watching Hawaii Five O and I’m Anton.”

She smiled lovingly at her grandson, her expression a combination of love and confusion. Slowly the clouds passed from her gaze, and she stared directly at his deep brown eyes. “Yes, Hawaii Five O and of course Anton, why would you tell me your name? You are the light of our lives.”

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He smiled. It wasn’t a smile of happiness, more a pacifying act to quiet her reasoning. He’d heard it before. She could talk her way out of any misstep. Actually, as long as he could remember she’d been doing that: saying something totally off base, or doing something weird, and justifying it, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Half way through the episode, Anton gave up on hearing the actors speak. “Grandmother, I just remembered my mother wants me upstairs. I think I should go up there.”

She smiled, “Yes, of course. Please give Margarete my love.”

He walked to the television and turned off the set. It wasn’t worth the correction or explanation. Margarete was his great-grandmother, Nathaniel’s mother. Dying before Anton’s birth, she was someone he’d never met. “I will Grandmother. I’m sure she feels the same.”

His grandmother snickered, “We both know that isn’t true. But, please tell her anyway.”

“I will.”

Anton wondered if his grandmother was talking about her relationship with her mother-in-law or her daughter-in-law. He didn’t wonder enough to question. The answer would take longer than he was willing to commit. Besides, Anton knew from experience, at the end of the conversation, his question could easily remain unanswered.

You gain strength, courage and confidence

by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Chapter 7

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Courtney’s apprehension came through Claire’s newest disposable cellphone. It was her second pay as you go phone. Only Emily and Courtney had this number, and Emily had a new similar phone she used to communicate. Of course, Courtney would also only call with a pay as you go phone, and yes, she had a new one. None of these numbers could be traced back to the number Tony knew.

“If you won’t give it to me, I’ll get it some other way.” Claire’s voice rang strong and resolute.

After Claire collected herself from her meltdown in the bathroom stall the night before, she decided to meet her problem head on. Her problem: her ex-husband Anthony Rawlings.

“Seriously Courtney, don’t you understand? I’m not going to live my life running. I won’t let him have that control. If I flee every time he’s near, he wins. I’m making a life out here. I want to live it.”

Courtney sat in her kitchen and stared into her backyard. The Iowa spring was struggling to break through the gray veil of winter. Patches of ice and snow speckled the pale remnants of lawn. In another month the grass would begin to green and life would renew. Courtney contemplated her friend; she deserved renewal too. “Claire, how will having his private number help that?”

“Because he thinks he can call and disrupt my life. The only way to stop him is to turn the tables. I need to have equal opportunity to initiate contact.”

“I guess I understand. But, don’t you think he’ll wonder how you got it? I mean – it’s blocked. I know you know that.”

“I do. I’ve seen his contact list, it has lots of people. He isn’t as isolated as he thinks. It just takes one of those many people.”

Courtney continued to watch the scene outside of her window. Near her elbows on her table sat a list of Saturday afternoon activities. Julia, her future daughter-in-law, would be over soon they had many things to accomplish before the quickly approaching wedding. Next to her half full mug of coffee was her list of proposed guests. She glanced at the list of rehearsal dinner locations and caterers. They had appointments with three of them this afternoon.




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