Veronica proves she can by letting out a blood curdling scream, and we both wince at the sound.

“Very good!” Jackson tells her. He looks up at me and smiles and it takes everything in me not to hug him and cry because he's being so thoughtful. He had known exactly what I was worrying about and had made sure to calm my fears.

“Um, I’m just going to sit here. Don’t let me fall asleep,” I tell him as I sit down on the couch, curl my legs up next to me, and rest my elbow on the arm and watch them play.

“You’re fine. We’ll be right here getting Barbie and Ken ready for their wedding,” Jackson says with a smile as Veronica hands him Barbie’s wedding dress.

I sit there watching them for a few minutes in complete awe. This guy who has known me for all of five minutes took one look at me and knew what I needed. How in the hell has my husband, who has known me for years, not been able to do that?

~

I'm having the best dream ever. I'm alone on a deserted island, and I'm sleeping. Just sleeping. No crying kids, no husband begging for sex…nothing but the sound of ocean waves and hours of uninterrupted sleep. I stretch my arms over my head, feeling around for the warm sand and instead, and grab onto the arm of the couch.

I sit up quickly and blink a few times, looking around in fear and wondering why I am asleep on my couch and I can’t hear Veronica or Billy. The living room has grown dark and there is a lamp on in the corner of the room so I know I must have been out for a few hours at least.

I jump up in a panic and am preparing to scream at the top of my lungs that my children are missing when I hear Veronica’s giggle from the kitchen. I run around the couch and across the room, stopping short when I get to the kitchen doorway.

“Hey there, sleepyhead! We decided to move our Barbie party into the kitchen so we didn’t disturb you,” Jackson says with a smile as he looks up from the kitchen table that’s now full of all of the Barbie crap that used to be on the living room floor.

“Mommy! Jackson let me take Barbie swimming!” Veronica shouts excitedly while she points to the sink that’s full of water.

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“Hope you don’t mind. She wanted to fill up the bathtub but I thought the sink was a better idea. Oh and your son is still sleeping. I checked on him a few minutes ago.”

Where did this guy come from? Am I still dreaming? He can’t possibly be real.

“How long have I been out?” I ask, coming over to the table and kissing Veronica on the top of the head.

“About three hours,” Jackson replies, standing up from the table and sticking his hand out towards Veronica. “My lady, it’s been a pleasure playing Barbies with you this evening.”

Veronica giggles and shakes Jackson’s hand.

I walk Jackson to the door and stand there holding it open while he turns and pauses on the front porch, sticking his hands in the pocket of his jeans.

“I don’t even know how to thank you. I think I’m the one that was supposed to welcome you to the neighborhood by baking you cookies or something. You weren’t supposed to babysit my kids while I snored on the couch,” I tell him apologetically.

“Really, it’s okay. I didn’t mind. I watch my niece a few times a week so it was a piece of cake. Besides, it was too exhausting trying to do yard work in puddles of melted snow so it gave me an excuse to be lazy for once.”

He smiles at me again, and I have to force myself to swallow a few times so I don’t start to cry.

“See ya later, Jenny! If you ever need more sleep, you know where to find me. And I love cookies, so feel free to thank me with those sometime,” he says with a laugh as he jumps off of the porch and whistles his way across the street to his house.

I stand there watching him walk away and wonder if I’ve lost my f**king mind for even thinking about taking him up on his offer again. I haven’t felt this good or well-rested in years.

Chapter 18 – Vanilla Sex

Date night! Mother f**king date night! I’m so excited I almost pissed myself. Just kidding, I totally really did piss myself. Just a little. It’s all good. I've drank a lot of Pepsi this afternoon.

Jenny has been in the best mood ever this week, and I know it’s because she’s looking forward to this night as much as I am. I've just dropped the kids off with Carter and Claire with strict instructions not to call us unless one of the kids is bleeding from the eyes. And only if it’s a lot of blood, like, “Oh my God, so much blood!” If you’re just like, “Eh, some drops of blood from the eyes, nothing to get your panties in a bunch about,”’ don’t call me. I’ve already hidden Jenny’s cell phone in my pants so she has no choice but to give the meat whistle a little rub if she wants to check on the kids.

I've left Jenny at home to finish getting ready and because I know if she goes with me to drop the kids off, it would have taken at least an hour of her kissing them over and over and apologizing for leaving them and then kissing them both ten more times before we could even walk out the door. At least she doesn’t make too much of a scene when I leave our house with them. As soon as I see her eyes start to fill with tears, I do the whole, “Oooh look, a butterfly!” and then turn and run. I would have made it to the car too if Veronica wasn’t so slow. I need to practice some wind sprints with that kid for situations like this.

I get back home and pull into the driveway, and when I get out of the car, the new guy who moved in across the street is taking his garbage out and lifts his hand in a wave. I wave back and wonder if the dude even owns a shirt. Every time I’ve seen him outside since he's moved in, he’s been half naked. It’s a disgrace to the neighborhood. Especially since everyone on this street knows I’m the one who looks the best doing yard work without a shirt. Some people just don’t know their place.




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