Suddenly, I realized why. It explained why the barghest was always so gentle with me, why he'd done so much for me.
He'd known me all my life, seen me grow up. He'd probably been introduced to me as a baby, by my mother. I'd probably pulled his ears and drooled on his tail. When he was a dog, obviously. No wonder he looked uncomfortable.
He still saw me as a little girl.
And, to him, I was a child. I didn't know how old he was, but I knew he was older than Ryu, who was two hundred and seventy in human years. I don't know how the supes calculated their ages, but Ryu was just old enough to be taken seriously. In human years, he was probably the equivalent of, say, a thirty-year-old. Anyan was a whole different story. I had the impression he wasn't vastly older than Ryu, but that Anyan had lived just that much longer, during times that were just that much more interesting, to make a huge difference in terms of experience.
Not to mention, he was probably like a million and two in dog years.
So no wonder he didn't want to hear suggestions about my sex life with Ryu.
That said, I wasn't a little girl anymore, and I hadn't been since I held Jason's cold face in my hands and tried to kiss him back to life. And Anyan, along with all the other supes, needed to understand that I might be young by their standards, but I was no child.
Now I just had to figure out how to prove it to them. Partly so I could convince them that Jarl was a genuine threat, something no one but Anyan seemed to believe.
I came back to attention as Camille outlined what she thought our discovery meant.
“Either this is all coincidence, which I doubt, or Jimmu was murdering these halflings in order to stock laboratories.” Ryu nodded, clearly wanting more.
“But why?” she asked. “And where are these labs, and who was running them?” she continued.
Julian spoke before either Ryu or I could.
“ ‘Why' is relatively straightforward, Mother. Humans can do all sorts of experiments on tissues and organs. But they're tissues and organs you need to live, so…”
“Ah,” Camille said, nodding at her son. “Of course.”
Ryu nodded. “And as for your other questions, we have no idea. Julian can begin tracing those records as soon as possible. But something tells me we're going to find the same sort of shell organizations that ran Conleth's lab.”
“Basically, then, what you're saying is that there may be a connection between whoever took over the running of Conleth's lab and these other labs, if they exist,” Caleb rumbled in his bass voice from across the table.
Ryu nodded. I noticed that no one had yet said the name “Jarl.” Interesting.
As if reading my mind, Anyan spoke from the half-shadows of the doorframe.
“The real question is, how much did Jarl know about his nagas' activities.”
“Exactly,” I said, as Ryu winced.
“We can't assume that Jarl is involved,” Ryu insisted. “We do need to keep an eye on him, yes. But we can't assume he's this sponsor.”
Everyone at the table exchanged glances. I knew that all the supes didn't want Jarl involved. It made everything too big, too portentous. But I could also see the suspicion in their eyes. They trusted their king's second little more than I did.
“Phaedra and her group's presence here does seem…
odd,” Julian said, as he cleaned his glasses nervously.
“But the Alfar did save Jane last night,” Daoud pointed out.
“There will be no love lost between Jane and Jarl, or Jarl's minions,” Anyan interrupted, touching on the secret he and I shared: that Jarl had attacked me and that he blamed me for his foster children's deaths. I looked to the barghest, but his eyes were shadowed. Was he intimating that we should tell Ryu what had happened?
“At this point, we need to trust Phaedra,” Ryu said. “Capturing Conleth has to be our first priority. And Daoud's right; she did save Jane.”
I'd seen the look on Phaedra's face, like she'd been surprised to find me under the tree. I wasn't entirely convinced she'd saved me so much as she'd reflexively stopped the tree.
“We'd be fools to trust the Alfar,” Anyan said, moving into the light. “Or any of their suggestions. And I've been told what she has suggested, Ryu, and the answer is no.”
Ryu straightened up, setting his shoulders. I had no idea what was going on, but I got the distinct impression that everybody else was suddenly studiously avoiding meeting my eyes.“I wasn't going to bring that up until I could talk to Jane in private,” Ryu said to the barghest, his voice low and angry.
“Because you knew she would agree before anyone else could talk sense into her. But I will not put her life in Phaedra's hands.”
The two men were facing one another, and the energy generated by their shields was so intense it was practically sparking. It was going to be like the showdown at the O.K. Corral in a minute.
“C'mon, both of you,” I said, standing up and putting myself between the barghest and baobhan sith. “This obviously involves me, so spit it out. What did Phaedra suggest, and why don't you want me to know about it?”
Anyan raised an eyebrow at Ryu, who turned toward me with a sigh. “Phaedra has suggested we use you to trap Conleth, Jane. That we take advantage of his obsession with you, and use you as bait.”
“Wow,” I replied, as Anyan growled. Like, really growled. I didn't realize he could still do that in human form.
“Okay,” I said, turning toward the barghest. “This is complicated.”
“It's out of the question, Jane,” Anyan said. “We can't allow this. You know we can't trust Phaedra—”
Ryu interrupted by rounding off on Anyan.
“There's nothing to allow, Anyan. Jane'll be up for it. I know her. Far better than you do.”
“Of course she'll do it; that's not the point.” Anyan was furious; he was snarling again. Meanwhile, I was getting tired of being discussed in the third person. “The point is that she could get killed. She's strong but she has no offensive training. Yet you keep thrusting her into these situations where she can't defend herself.”
“She's got to learn, Anyan. You'd keep her in Rockabill playing with gnomes for the rest of her life.”
“I wouldn't ‘keep' her anywhere. She's living her life. Training. Learning. She'll be stronger than either of us one day. But she's not going to live long enough to get there if you don't stop playing your stupid games.”
“Damn it, Anyan!” I shouted, fed up with their fighting. The fact was that they were having two different conversations. Anyan was talking with me about our Jarl secret, while Ryu thought we were talking about Phaedra and Conleth. We were getting nowhere fast, and I was tired of being argued about rather than with. “Ryu, stop! Right now. This is pointless.”
I looked between the two men and shook my head. This was gonna suck.
But the truth will come out, my brain reminded me as I asked if we three could be left alone.
Everyone obligingly filed out of the office and then out the front door. Anyan, Ryu, and I followed them into the main room. After I'd locked the main door behind everyone, Anyan immediately started arguing.
“Jane, I know you want to help, but this is too dangerous.” If I didn't know better, I'd think the barghest was begging.
“I know you want us all safe, but this is not about me,” I replied, keeping my voice calm and collected. “I know that, in terms of experience and ability, I'm the weakest link. But I'm also our best chance. I don't want to rule out the idea of using me to trap Conleth. As long as he's out there killing, then we're responsible for all those deaths.”
“I get that, Jane. I know.” The barghest was barely holding his frustration in check, and his long nose was twitching like crazy. “But think about what you're saying. You're asking me to sit back while you walk into a trap set by Phaedra. Don't forget who she works for.”
Anyan and I stared at each other in a silence broken only by Ryu clearing his throat.
“I really don't understand why you're so opposed to this, Anyan,” he said.
I looked at my lover and then looked at the barghest. He nodded. We had to tell Ryu what had happened all those months ago.
“Ryu, we have to tell you something, but you can't freak out.”
Ryu blinked at me in surprise. He thought he knew all my secrets, and he did. Except for this one.
He was so going to freak out.
“What on earth could you have to tell me?”
I looked at Anyan. He shrugged his massive shoulders, letting me know he was willing to take one for the team. But this was definitely my cross to bear.
“Something happened when I was at the Compound last November. And I didn't tell you about it because if I'd told you, you would have gone loco and gotten yourself killed.”
Ryu's eyes narrowed, but he waited for me to continue. I took a deep breath.
“Remember when Jimmu killed that man Nyx had brought for supper, and was about to kill me, but you jumped on Jimmu?” I could barely follow what I had just said, but Ryu nodded.