"Oh, come! Be a man!"
"No, sir, I fear not. There's a difference between handing in your resignation--I was compelled to do that only recently, owing to a few words I had with the guv'nor, though subsequently prevailed upon to withdraw it--I say there's a difference between handing in your resignation and being given the sack, and that's what would happen--without a character, what's more, and lucky if it didn't mean a prison cell. No, sir; I could not contemplate such a thing."
"Then I don't see that there's anything to be done," said Sam morosely.
"Oh, I shouldn't say that, sir," said Webster, encouragingly. "It's simply a matter of finding the way. The problem confronting us--you, I should say...."
"Us," said Sam. "Most decidedly us."
"Thank you very much, sir. I would not have presumed, but if you say so--The problem confronting us, as I envisage it, resolves itself into this. You have offended our Miss B. and she has expressed a disinclination ever to see you again. How, then, is it possible, in spite of her attitude, to recapture her esteem?"
"Exactly," said Sam.
"There are several methods which occur to one...."
"They don't occur to me!"
"Well, for example, you might rescue her from a burning building as in 'True As Steel'...."
"Set fire to the house, eh?" said Sam, reflectively. "Yes, there might be something in that."
"I would hardly advise such a thing," said Webster, a little hastily--flattered at the readiness with which his disciple was taking his advice, yet acutely alive to the fact that he slept at the top of the house himself.
"A little drastic, if I may say so. It might be better to save her from drowning, as in 'The Earl's Secret'."
"Ah, but where could she drown?"
"Well, there is a lake in the grounds...."
"Excellent!" said Sam. "Terrific! I knew I could rely on you. Say no more! The whole thing's settled. You take her out rowing on the lake, and upset the boat. I plunge in ... I suppose you can swim?"
"No, sir."
"Oh? Well, never mind. You'll manage somehow, I expect. Cling to the upturned boat or something, I shouldn't wonder. There's always a way. Yes, that's the plan. When is the earliest you could arrange this?"
"I fear such a course must be considered out of the question, sir. It really wouldn't do."