I looked at him, a slight sarcastic smile on my face. “No, that’s okay. I’m done with this toxic shit, Tom. I don’t know what your problem is, frankly I don’t care, but it’s enough for me to realize that I better get out now, suffer the heartache and give myself a chance to find someone who won’t ditch me or treat me like crap without talking to me about whatever’s bothering him. I don’t trust you anymore.”
The cab pulled up beside me and I opened the door. Tom’s hand came crushing over the edge, shutting it tight.
“Drive on!” He told the driver and the cab sped away.
“What the hell!” I yelled in his face, not in the mood for his games.
“Listen to me,” he pleaded. “Just listen to me for a second.”
“No way in hell.” I used the classic women’s "don’t fuck with me" expression and he backed off a bit. I held up my hand for the next oncoming cab and it pulled up beside me. “You must mistake me for a sucker, Tom. I know exactly what’s going on. You want out. You regret your time with me...”
“No!” He began but I cut him off with my hand.
“Listen, I get it. You’re not over Kelly. You’re feeling guilty about lying. You don’t really love me and you don’t want to lead me on. I’ve experienced this exact thing before. God, how I’ve experienced this same phenomenon over and over.” I shook my head. “Whatever. I may not be the keepable type, but I will be okay without you, Tom.”
And with those parting words, I left Tom slack-mouthed on the walk, closing the door behind me and giving the cabbie the name of the hotel. Tom began yelling at the cab and slamming his hands on the trunk, but I told the cabbie to step on it. I was going to be gone before he’d even know what happened and not a moment too soon either. I needed a place to hunker down for a while and hopefully ease the trouble I felt already brewing in my chest. I needed a reprieve from the impending doom and there was no better place than Donovan’s.
The two-hour flight from Paris to Cork was excruciating. The more I tried to hold back the tears, the more they wanted to burn past my lids. My chest constricted with every breath I took. So this is what real heartache is. I finally understood why Tom became so bitter. There was nothing in the entire world like that feeling. Death would have been so much easier.
Donovan met me at the airport and I can honestly say I’ve never been so happy to see anyone in my life. The second I came within reach, I grabbed for him.
“Donny,” I said quietly, the tears already streaming down my face.
“Ah, lass,” he breathed out harshly. “Come,” he said, hugging me tightly, “let’s get to Killarney. You can tell me everythin’ on the way.”
The hourlong drive to Killarney provided barely enough time to let Donny in on the whole deal. He wasn’t aware of the fire because I hadn’t told anyone, not even my parents or siblings and he almost flipped out. What’s the point in worrying them? I reassured him that it was just a minor burn and that over-the-counter meds would alleviate the pain, that’s how minor it was.
Donny’s street was a series of shops all connected into one seemingly long building with different facades peppering each shop. Donny lived above his own. The tears came down stronger at the sight of his little blue door.
“Oh now, stop it, love. It’ll all be okay,” Donny tried to soothe me.
I entered Donny’s shop and sprinted up the stairs to his tiny apartment, bursting through the door and toppling onto his sofa.
“What the heavens!” I heard from the kitchen
I turned onto my back but kept the accent pillow at my face. In a sobbing voice, I said, “Hi, Aunt Briann.”
“Is that my January?” she said, her singsong voice making me lose it more.
“Yes!” I wailed.
“Oh, my pet.” She came to sit on the sofa arm and started rubbing my hair. “Donny told me a bit before he left. I’m sorry, love.” She lifted me up by the shoulders. “Come on, January, let’s get to your room. You can lie a bit and I’ll wake you for dinner. I’ll get the rest from your uncle while you rest.”
I nodded and she kissed my cheek because she couldn’t reach my forehead. Aunt Briann was exceedingly beautiful and kind as hell. I don’t know how surly Donny got her.
“Thank you, Briann.”
Thomas
That cheeky wench had stunned me silent in front of that hospital. I’d been forced to gather my wits, but apparently I wasn’t quick enough to catch her before she sped away. Jason informed me that night that January was on "vacation" in Killarney and that she’d return to New York City at the end of the week.
“The hell!” I told Jason as I packed my shit for a one-way flight to Cork.
“I thought Kelly’s wedding was tomorrow,” he said as I stuffed everything in my duffel.
“It is.”
“You’re going to miss it?”
“No, I’m going to swing by Killarney for Miss Assumption first and pick her up.” Jason cleared his throat at my glaringly obvious contradiction. “Don’t even start. I’m going to apologize for that,” I told him.
I’d informed Jason of everything that had gone on between January and me, including the phone call. "You’re an idiot," he’d simply told me. "I know," I’d admitted. That was the end of that.
“Then I’ll see you at the wedding?” he asked.
“Yes, with January in tow.”
“Good,” he’d said.
I rented a car in Cork and drove straight through to Killarney, reaching January’s uncle’s door at two in the morning. I parked quickly and at a weird angle, hoping to God no one attempted to drive down the narrow street, and started pounding on Donovan’s door.
“January!” I yelled. “January! Open up!”
“Stop that poundin’!” A neighbor yelled from his window a few homes down.
“January!” I yelled, ignoring him. I repeatedly pounded again and again, desperate to see her.
The door whipped open just when I thought I couldn’t take another second. “What are you doing?” A disheveled January asked me. God, she was glorious to look at!
She pulled me inside and closed the door. Her eyes were red and made me want to kick my own ass.