My heart aches as he walks away and I feel sick to my stomach. Maybe he knows we were talking about him. He couldn’t possibly believe he’s no one important to me. Could he? The thought makes my stomach turn.
“Wow, Phoenix. Way to go.” Michelle brushes her hair out of her face while clicking her tongue. “Now you scared the hottie away. How do you expect to get a date-“
“You’re pushing it, Michelle,” I say defensively. “That was in the past. We are both different people now. I don’t even know him anymore. Just drop it, okay.”
Laura sips on her drink and her eyes wander over to Kellan, who is now helping Martin. I can see the lust in her big brown eyes and it sucks to think that other women want him.
The right side of her mouth curves into a smile as she looks over at me. “Oh please, Phoenix. A man like that can’t be anything but good. Don’t think I don’t remember the way he treated you in the past. He was your guardian angel, always there to protect you. Somehow, I don’t think things will be much different now. You saw him handle man boobs.”
I turn my attention away from her to get a peek at Kellan. He’s still standing there talking to Martin, but his eyes are on me, watching me closely. Even when he notices me looking, his eyes don’t shy away. He has no shame at being caught staring at me. I can’t seem to turn away either. I’ve only had him back for a few days and already, I’m addicted.
* * *
By the end of my shift, I am exhausted and just ready to get home and crash. The girls hung around for a couple of hours, talking about Jamie’s fight with her boyfriend and ever so slyly, bringing up Kellan every chance they got. To be honest, I was happy to see them leave. I couldn’t take any more worrying if Kellan was going to creep up and hear our conversation anymore. It was exhausting.
I was glad to see Kellan ended up being a great bartender, after all. He seemed to be very experienced with making drinks and he even showed me a few new ones. I could get used to having someone that actually wants to work help out around here. Too bad, it would never work out. He’ll probably never step foot into this bar again.
While in the office counting down the cash, I notice that the drawer is over by almost a hundred dollars. I count it for a second time just to come up with the same exact amount.
Standing up, I push my way through the door to see Kellan standing in front of the jukebox. He has one hand out in front of him, against the jukebox, while the other is scanning through the music selection.
I want to say something, but there’s just something about the way he’s standing there, with his hair hanging over his scruffy face and his shoulder blades protruding against the thin fabric of his shirt, that is too beautiful to interrupt. Watching him has my heart hammering in my chest.
Finally, he picks a song and Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd starts playing over the speaker. He takes a step back, closes his eyes, and bites his bottom lip, looking lost in the moment.
My heart aches as I watch him. He takes a deep breath before bending forward, placing both of his hands on the jukebox and squeezing, head hanging low, clenching his jaw.
This was one of Adric’s favorite songs. I used to sit there in the attic next to him, while he played this song and sang it aloud. He would always tell me to be sure to find a simple man and I never really understood what he meant by that. I’m still not so sure I understand now, but it still eats at my heart every time I hear this song.
“Fuck! This damn song.” He pounds his fist against the jukebox before taking a step back and slowly rubbing his hands over his face. That’s always been his way of covering his emotions and hiding. It always broke my heart to see him that way. Apparently, from the way my heart is faltering and my stomach is knotting up, it still does.
I swallow the lump in my throat and walk over to stand next to him. Holding out the money, I ask, “Is this your tip money?”
He swallows and takes a step closer to me, as if just now noticing me in the room. “It’s yours. I don’t want it.” He places his hands to my shoulders and rubs his thumbs over them, while breathing heavily. “I helped out tonight because I wanted to, not because I need the money.”
Pulling away from him, I shake my head and shove the money into his chest. “I can’t keep this money, Kellan. You worked your ass off tonight.” He pushes my hand back, but I don’t budge. I won’t. “Take the money. You deserve it.”
He finally holds his hand out and allows me to place it in his hand. “You’re still just as stubborn as ever. Do you know that?” He shoves the money into his pocket and smiles, as if he knows something I don’t. Then he walks away and into the office.
“Wait a minute. What was that smile for?” I follow behind him and watch as he wraps the money up and writes down the numbers for the night. “Are you seriously going to do everything for me?”
He looks up giving me a serious look. “I would if I could, Phoenix.” His eyes darken before he finally looks away. “I’m taking you to your car. I’ll be ready in a few.”
“My mother is supposed to pick me up when I call her.” I walk around and help as he starts turning off the lights and games. “I just need my keys and my purse.”
He brushes past me and heads for the door. “Don’t call your mom. I’m taking you for a ride.” He smiles, holds the door open and waits for me to follow him outside. “Do you usually do this alone at night?”
I shrug my shoulders as I stick the key into the lock and turn. “Yeah, usually. Once in a while someone else is here, but most of the time it’s just me.”
He leans his head back and sucks his bottom lip in frustration. “I’m gonna have to put a stop to that shit. What the hell are they thinking, leaving a beautiful . . .” He takes a deep breath and exhales. “They shouldn’t be leaving you alone at two in the morning to close up a bar. You could easily get robbed or hurt.”
My heartbeat pounds in my ears as I try to hide the blush that is creeping over my face. If I heard him correctly, then he was calling me beautiful. I would’ve given anything in the past to hear that from his lips.
“So . . .” I look around the parking lot in search of his motorcycle, but all I see is a big, black, Chevy Silverado truck, rocky ridge style. “Is this beauty yours?” I point my thumb toward the truck and smile.