He stepped toward me, lifting his hand partway before letting it fall. “Like everybody else?”
“Yeah, you know.” My head dipped, my shoulders hunched. “Like the other people in my life who’ve left me.”
“Fuck, Cory. I’m not. I would never—” he said as if struggling to get the right words out. “I would never leave you. Not unless I was forced to. This was only a precaution. I wouldn’t want to be without you.”
I studied him, as all the air occupying the space between us seemed to pulse and vibrate.
“So then everything stays the same?” I mumbled and then swallowed roughly, still not quite believing his words. Not yet. “You don’t have to go?”
“Alex and the club figures I’m safest here,” he said.
I stared at the floor, attempting to gain control of my pounding pulse.
“Can you . . . can you look at me, Cory?” he said. “Allow me to explain.”
My gaze snapped to his and he blew out a sharp breath.
“When I saw Mateo skating at the event . . .” he said. “I was shocked as well as confused. I hadn’t seen his name in the lineup.”
I remember the program they handed out at the door and didn’t recall any skater named Mateo, either, not that I was looking.
“Alex cross-checked government records and found him living on the East Coast. Apparently he’s also under witness protection using an alias.”
My eyes widened at the news.
“They needed to make sure the fact that he was at the same event was pure happenstance.”
My heart was battering in my chest. “And was it?”
“His story seemed to check out,” he said and I released a jagged pant. “He’s done a couple events under his pseudonym; no way he could’ve known my name or the town I was staying in. Besides, I’m not even sure if he saw me.”
I remained silent as if awaiting the upshot. For everything to come crashing down around me. I still couldn’t inhale a goddamn decent breath.
“We used to . . . we’d skate together,” he said. “It was the thing we had in common.”
“So he left that life behind, too,” I said, trying to piece it together. “Do you feel like you want to—”
“He means nothing to me, Cory,” Jude said, stepping into my space and backing me against the door. “And you mean everything.”
My chest felt crowded and uncomfortable; I wanted to touch him so badly. But I still needed to get some things square in my head. He kept his distance, understanding dawning in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. This must be difficult for you to deal with,” he whispered. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You don’t have to do this—be with me.”
My gaze snapped up to his and I saw profound sadness in his eyes. I didn’t want to hurt him any more than he wanted to hurt me.
My fingers reached for his chin, grasping firmly. “How can I not be with you?”
He gasped but remained silent, allowing me to get my thoughts out. “You mean everything, too.”
My forehead rested against his as I breathed him in, and the scent of cedar made me heady.
His eyes searched mine as he reached up to remove my cap and run his fingers through my hair. He grazed his lips against my forehead and then my cheek.
I felt myself falling into him.
Impatient to kiss him. Touch him. Be with him.
I placed one hand behind his neck and the other on the small of his back before my mouth rushed over his. My lips traced over his, top to bottom, before my tongue parted his mouth and nudged inside.
Just that small taste of him brought the universe back in alignment.
He brushed his tongue against mine, slow and sexy, until I could barely catch my breath. My fingers dug into his hip; I desperately needed him closer.
My tongue twined along his, exploring his mouth, while my hands skimmed up and down his spine. I wanted to slide beneath his skin, dissolve into his bones. To make absolutely certain that he would never leave me again.
His breaths were heavy and hard as I wound my fingers through his hair, pulling him even nearer. He drew my tongue inside his mouth and gently sucked on it until he dragged a whimper from me.
I tightened my hold on his hips and tugged him forward, bracing myself against the doorframe. He slanted his head to deepen the kiss and I felt every place on his body that touched mine—our thighs, our stomachs, and our chests.
He traced a fragile line with his thumb along the small of my back, above the loop of my jeans, and I groaned into his mouth.
“Jude,” I said and we broke apart, breathing heavily.
I warily turned my gaze to him, my heart bouncing all around my chest.
“Cory?” he asked, no doubt seeing the agony in my eyes.
“I just . . . I need to know that this is real. That you’re real,” I whispered. “Do you understand?”
His eyes held mine for entirely too long as he read something in them.
“I understand.”
We didn’t waste any time after that. Or clothes were wrenched off in the hallway. And by the time we made it to my bedroom door, Jude had me facing the wall, my hands above my head, and he was talking in that bossy, commanding voice that I’d fantasized about.
His groin was rubbing against my hip as he bit and sucked my neck.
“I need you inside me, Jude. Now.”
Without saying another word he drove his hard cock against my back and took my mouth in a fervent attack of teeth and tongue and mouth. If he was nervous about topping for the first time, he didn’t show it. He must’ve read the desperation in my eyes.