I gritted my teeth and hesitated in responding. “Mostly, yeah. Makes me feel uneasy.”
He stared at me a long moment and nodded. Then his gaze swung to the construction site. “They’ll probably build the stands over there.”
At first I was confused by the change in topic but then I finally put it together. “You’re afraid of the crowd?”
“Not exactly.”
“The people who might be in the crowd?”
He moved his head up and down.
“Because you’re supposed to be in hiding?”
He took the longest time answering and when he did it was as if he was giving me the last pieces of himself. There was a noticeable shift in the energy between us. “Yeah.”
His expression was guarded again as he waited on my reaction.
“Okay,” I said, trying to control the storm brewing inside of me. “So why are you going?”
“It’s something that I’d enjoy. Alex says I have to live my life.”
My stomach throbbed at the mention of a guy’s name. “Alex?”
“The man you saw me at the park with that one day?”
“The man I figured was your parole officer?”
“Is that what you thought?” he asked looking thoughtful. “Makes sense I guess.”
“So he’s not?” My heart was in my throat waiting to hear who this anonymous man was to him. How he figured into his mysterious life.
“No,” he said. “He’s a federal marshal.”
My hands clenched my thighs as my world spun out of control. It was no longer a world that I was familiar with. The scenery had changed on me in the blink of an eye.
“Are you a fugitive?” I asked, fear spiking inside of me.
No, that didn’t make sense. He would’ve been locked up if that were the case.
“I guess in a way I am,” he said and my eyebrows rose. “Witness protection.”
I took loud panting breaths as I placed it all together in my head. He was on the run from his stepfather, who had killed his mother and maybe wanted to kill him, too. Or maybe Jude knew too much information about him, confessed, and had to go into hiding.
“I know you’ve got a bloody brilliant brain and have already figured it out,” he said. “Probably don’t need to spell anything out to you.”
Still, some things didn’t add up. “Why the Disciples of the Road?”
“Alex figures it’s the best way,” he said. “They have a beef with my stepdad. A long-ago dispute that involved my stepdad stealing guns from an affiliate motorcycle club. Guess they got proof and want nothing more to do with him. I stay close to the Disciples, I’m under their protection.”
My mind was whirling like wheels on ice. When Jude told me earlier in the week his stepfather was ruthless, I wasn’t sure what that meant. Except it now fit with the rumors I’d heard about the Disciples. I felt like I was in some crazy-ass movie involving criminals and it was now being played out in real life.
“Why does Alex figure it’s time?”
“It’s been years. My stepdad either hasn’t tried to find me or hasn’t been successful. He’s in hiding himself,” he said. “Alex knows skating is in my blood, figures if I wasn’t under federal protection, I’d have gone pro by now. So he told me to go see the show.”
“Man, Jude, this is all so . . . fucked up.”
“I understand if you want to walk away right now. In fact maybe you should,” he said, sadness in his eyes. “Anything we do would have to be on the down low and I’m not sure you’re that kind of guy. And I’d always be concerned about your safety.”
“Does the club know about us?”
“They don’t ask but I think they have it figured out,” he said. “I don’t think Malachi likes the idea of having a queer under his protection. But he also might think that we’re just screwing around and that it’ll run its course.”
“Little do they know we haven’t even done that yet,” I said.
He hesitated. “Do you want to do that with me?”
“I’ve wanted to fuck you since the first time I laid eyes on you.”
“Goddamn it, Cory,” he groaned. “It’s hard enough staying away from you.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, adjusting myself on my seat.
We stared at each other for a minute more, desire blazing in his eyes, while I put extra pieces and parts together in my mind.
“Have you been with both men and women?”
“Yeah,” he said. “But I’ve always preferred men.”
“Did your stepfather know that?”
He nodded. “He used it to his advantage. Cory, I’ve done some illegal things under his control. Mostly as a minor. He was . . . very persuasive.”
Fuck, his scars. I wasn’t sure I could handle hearing about any more of it. Besides, I knew deep in my gut that Jude was a good person. “I think I understand.”
He swallowed visibly as if relieved.
“Who was the boyfriend you mentioned that you’d been in love with?”
“Figured all that out yourself did you?” he said. “Ah hell. Listen, it was rough going there for a while before my mum was murdered . . .”
“What do you mean?”
“The guy I thought I was in love with? His name was Mateo,” he said, gritting his teeth. “I fell for him—or at least I thought I did—but he was just manipulating me so he could persuade me to do more of my stepfather’s dirty work. Mostly carrying packages or being a lookout when they were running guns.”