He worked on autopilot, stacking the dishes next to the sink while his brain whirled. Liam might be fed up with Raine now, but the minute the man eased up, she would revert to giving only the tiniest morsels of herself so she didn’t have to truly bare her soul. When would she realize that refusing to share the real her with everyone who cared wouldn’t lead her to the fulfillment she craved?
Cursing, he carried another stack of plates into the kitchen. The entire room looked like an atomic bomb had detonated.
“And she was going to clean this mess up with a goddamn migraine? Right…”
At the sound of angry footsteps, Hammer turned to see Liam striding into the room, barreling down like a train. The prick didn’t say a word, just launched a solid right hook into his jaw. Dazed, Hammer stumbled back, colliding with a stack of dishes that teetered on the edge of the counter, a breath away from crashing to the floor.
“Back the fuck away from Raine. She’s not your ‘precious.’ She’s mine.”
He narrowed his eyes, massaging his chin, and stared at Liam. “Do you feel better now?”
“Not really. I’d rather smash your teeth down your throat, you selfish wanker. You could have had Raine any bloody time in all the years she’s been here, but ever since I collared her, you can’t seem to stay away.”
“What the hell? She got sick. I tried to help her, asshole.”
“By undermining me. And I still haven’t forgiven you for dragging her to your bed the second I claimed her. Why won’t you go the fuck away?”
“Because it’s my club, thank you very much. We both know that last-minute training collar was a convenient way for you to get her into bed. Pot, meet kettle.”
“Piss off, fuckwit.” Liam rubbed at his knuckles.
“What’s really got your dick in a twist? That she loves me? That she wants me? Or that she feels safe with me and doesn’t want to leave Shadows?” Hammer expected to feel his friend’s right hook again any second. Instead, hurt flared in Liam’s eyes.
“We’re bloody stuck here because a BDSM club is the closest thing Raine’s ever had to a real home. And she can’t break her connection with you because you won’t leave her alone long enough to let her.”
Guilty. He should have given Raine a proper home outside the club. He should have backed the hell off when she’d accepted Liam as her Dominant. But if he had, he would have lost Raine, probably for good. His guts clenched at the thought of her no longer in his life.
“You break her heart and fucking make her cry,” Liam railed on. “And me? Hell, you can’t stop laying on the accusations, taking every cheap shot you can.”
And didn’t that make him feel like a thousand kinds of an asshole? For years, Hammer had clung to Raine like a safety line. He never drew her to his shore, just gripped the goddamn rope tighter and tighter, afraid of losing her and the contentment she gave him, equally terrified that if he embraced her, he’d destroy her. If being with Liam made her happy, he should drop the rope and let her go.
His lungs burned as he tried to suck in a breath. Panic set in. His conscience screamed in the back of his brain that he should do the right thing…for once. But even if he kicked himself in the ass for not giving her what she needed, he was still a selfish bastard. In the end, he couldn’t give her up.
“Liam—”
“Shut the fuck up. Sometimes I wonder why I’m bothering when neither one of you seems to want me here. I’m sick to death of fighting you both.”
Liam sounded damn close to giving up on Raine. Somehow, that wasn’t nearly as satisfying as Hammer had imagined. In fact, he’d never seen the man so near the end of his rope, not even when Gwyneth had betrayed him.
Guilt oozed through his pores. Hammer would rather cut off his nuts with a rusty blade than examine this shitstorm, but no avoiding it now. He’d been blinded by his goddamn jealousy. He’d been too busy backbiting and lashing out to see that he was not only neglecting to consider Raine’s needs, but destroying a brotherhood.
Hell, he had been a fuckwit. He should say something, offer an olive branch of some sort. This feud wasn’t helping Liam, himself, or Raine.
“Listen—”
“Not another bloody word.” Liam gave Hammer a mighty shove, sending him stumbling back. “Raine needed guidance for six fucking years, and you did little but isolate and ignore her. You would have contorted yourself to help any other sub grow. If another Dom had treated her the way you have, you’d have killed him. What happened to you?”
Juliet.
“I used to look up to you,” Liam went on. “I don’t know who the fuck you are anymore.”
The man’s temper and accusation sparked his own. “You’re not perfect yourself. You didn’t have my permission to touch Raine, but you took her anyway. You knew I was in love with her. Some friend you are, forcing me to watch you fuck the only woman I’ve cared about since Juliet. You don’t know who I am? Fuck you. That street runs both ways.”
“Oh, quit your bellyaching about how I stole Raine from you when you were too daft to make her yours in the first place.” Liam’s face tightened, his fists clenching. “I won’t apologize for falling in love with her. At least I’ve tried to put her first. For years, Raine begged you for attention, but you were too busy dancing the mattress tango with every other sub. Think what you want of me, but the way you’ve treated the so-called ‘first woman I’ve cared about since Juliet’ is despicable. If you truly care for Raine, you’ll let her go. If not, you’re going to destroy her. And there’ll be no mending this rift between us.”
“I share a decade with you—a roof, a bed, my goddamn wife—and you’re ready to toss our friendship out for a woman you’ve been fucking for three weeks?”
“Are you a relationship guru now who knows exactly how long it takes to fall for someone? I love Raine. That eats you up. Admit it.”
“Damn straight it does, just like the fact that I love her too crawls up your ass and festers. You know the difference? I shared. I opened my fucking marriage to you because I thought Juliet needed you. Raine needs me. And you tell me that I can only talk to her about work with the door open? Nice reciprocation, asshole.”
“I invited you back to New York after I married Gwyneth.”
“What was I supposed to do in the middle of your newly wedded bliss besides be your third wheel?”
“I asked you to live with us so we could share her. I didn’t think I had to spell out the obvious.”