Now silently, Reuben removed the glasses and pushed down the scarf, exposing his face.
Only casually did Jim glance back as he gestured for "the man" to open the door of the little booth. But the glance was enough.
He saw the bestial face hovering just over him and he gasped as he fell back against the confessional.
Immediately Jim,s right hand flew up to his forehead and he made the Sign of the Cross. He closed his eyes, opened them again, and confronted what he saw.
"Confession," said Reuben and he opened the door of the booth. He was the one gesturing now with his paw for Jim to take his place inside.
It took a minute for Jim to recover.
It was so very strange to see Jim in this moment, when Jim did not know this monster he was looking at was his brother, Reuben. When do we ever see a brother or sister staring at us as if we are perfect strangers?
He knew things about his brother now that he could never know in their day-to-day contact - that his brother was even braver and more dedicated than he,d ever imagined. And that his brother could handle fear calmly.
Reuben went into the penitent,s booth and pulled the velvet curtain behind him. It was tight in here, made for small men and women. But he knelt on the padded kneeler, and faced the screen as Jim pulled back the panel. He saw Jim,s hand raised in blessing.
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," Reuben said. "And all I tell you now is under the absolute Seal of the Confessional."
"Yes," said Jim. "Are your intentions sincere?"
"Completely. I,m your brother, Reuben."
Jim didn,t utter a word.
"I,m the one who killed the ra**st in North Beach and the men in Golden Gate Park. I slew the woman on Buena Vista Hill who was torturing the old couple. I killed the kidnappers in Marin when I liberated the children. I was too late there to save them all. Two were already dead. Another little girl, a diabetic, died this morning."
Silence.
"I am indeed your brother," Reuben said. "This began for me with the attack in Mendocino County. I don,t know what manner of beast attacked me up there, or whether or not it meant to give me this power. But I know what manner of beast I am."
Again, utter silence. Jim appeared to be staring forward. It seemed his elbow was resting on the arm of his chair. And that his hand was near to his mouth.
Reuben went on:
"The change is coming earlier and earlier in the evening. It came on tonight about seven. I don,t know whether or not I can learn to block it or bring it on at will. I don,t know why it leaves me around dawn. But I do know it leaves me near dead with exhaustion.
"How do I find the victims? I hear them. I hear them and I smell them - their innocence and fear. And I smell the evil of those attacking them. I smell it like a dog or a wolf smells his prey.
"You know the rest, you,ve read it in the papers, heard it on the news. I have nothing more to tell you."
Silence.
Reuben waited.
It was stiflingly hot for him in this little box. But he waited.
Finally Jim spoke. His voice was thick and low, almost unrecognizable.
"If you are my little brother, then you must know something, something only he would know, something that you can tell me to assure me that,s who you are."
"For Chrissake, Jimmy, it,s me," Reuben said. "Mom doesn,t know anything about this; neither does Phil. Neither does Celeste. No one knows, Jim, except for one woman and that woman doesn,t know who I really am. She,s only known me as the Man Wolf. If she,s called the police or the FBI, or the NIH, or the CIA, there,s been no word made public on it. I,m telling you, Jim, because I need you, I need you to hear these things. I,m alone in this, Jim. I,m completely alone. And yes, I,m your brother. Aren,t I still your brother, Jim? Please answer me."
Dimly, Reuben saw Jim put his hands up over his nose and Jim made a short sound, like a cough.
"Okay." He sighed, sitting back. "Reuben. Just give me a minute. You know the old story. You can,t shock a priest in Confession. Well, I think that applies to people who haven,t been changed into some sort of ..."
"Animal," said Reuben. "I,m a werewolf, Jim. But I,d rather call myself a man wolf. I do actually retain my full consciousness in this state, as ought to be plain enough to you. But it,s not that simple. There are hormones flooding me in this state and they work on my emotions. I am Reuben, yes, but I,m Reuben under a new series of influences. And no one really knows to what extent hormones and emotions influence free will and conscience and inhibition and moral habit."
"Yes, that,s so true, and nobody would word that quite like you just did except my little brother, Reuben."
"Phil Golding didn,t bring up any sons who couldn,t obsess over cosmic questions."
Jim laughed. "And where is Phil now when I need him?"
"Don,t go there," said Reuben. "What we say here is sealed."
"Amen, that,s without question."
Reuben waited.
Then he said:
"It,s easy to kill, easy to kill people reeking of guilt. No, that,s not it. They don,t reek of guilt. They reek of intent to do evil."
"And other people, innocent people?"
"Other people smell just like people. They smell innocent; they smell healthy; they smell good. That must be why the beast in Mendocino let me go. He caught me in the midst of his attack on two killers. And he let me go, perhaps knowing what he,d done to me, what he,d passed on to me."
"But you don,t know who or what he is."
"No. Not yet. But I,m going to find out, that is, if there is any way that I can. And there,s more to it all than meets the eye, I mean, more connecting what happened to that house and the family. But it,s too soon to try to make sense of it yet."
"Tonight. Have you killed tonight?"
"No, I have not. But it,s early, Jim."
"The whole city,s looking for you. They,ve got more traffic-light cameras put up. They have people watching the rooftops. Reuben, they have satellite capabilities now to watch the rooftops. They know that,s how you travel. Reuben, they,re going to catch you. They,re going to shoot you down! They,re going to kill you."
"It won,t be that easy, Jim. Let me worry about that."
"Listen, I want you to turn yourself over to the authorities. I will go home with you. We will call Simon Oliver and get the litigator in the firm, what,s-his-name, Gary Paget, and - ."
"Stop it, Jim. Not going to happen."
"Little Boy, you can,t handle this on your own. You,re tearing human beings limb from limb - ."