"Surely you noticed how well I did," Elend said. "I got them to let me go into Straff's camp."
"You are king, Elend Venture," Tindwyl said, arms folded. "Nobody 'lets' you do anything. The first change in attitude has to be your own—you have to stop thinking that you need permission or agreement from those who follow you."
"A king should lead by consent of his citizens," Elend said. "I will not be another Lord Ruler."
"A king should be strong," Tindwyl said firmly. "He accepts counsel, but only when he asks for it. He makes it clear that the final decision is his, not his counselors'. You need better control over your advisors. If they don't respect you, then your enemies won't either—and the masses never will."
"Ham and the others respect me."
Tindwyl raised an eyebrow.
"They do!"
"What do they call you?"
Elend shrugged. "They're my friends. They use my name."
"Or a close approximation of it. Right, 'El'?"
Elend flushed, setting one final book on the stack. "You'd have me force my friends to address me by my title?"
"Yes," Tindwyl said. "Especially in public. You should be addressed as 'Your Majesty,' or at least as 'my lord.'"
"I doubt Ham would deal well with that," Elend said. "He has some issues with authority."
"He will get over them," Tindwyl said, wiping her finger along a bookcase. She didn't need to hold it up for Elend to know there would be dust on its tip.
"What about you?" Elend challenged.
"Me?"
"You call me 'Elend Venture,' not 'Your Majesty.'"
"I am different," Tindwyl said.
"Well, I don't see why you should be. You can call me 'Your Majesty' from now on."
Tindwyl smiled slyly. "Very well, Your Majesty. You can unclench your fists now. You're going to have to work on that—a statesman should not give visual clues of his nervousness."
Elend glanced down, relaxing his hands. "All right."
"In addition," Tindwyl continued, "you still hedge too much in your language. It makes you seem timid and hesitant."
"I'm working on that."
"Don't apologize unless you really mean it," Tindwyl said. "And don't make excuses. You don't need them. A leader is often judged by how well he bears responsibility. As king, everything that happens in your kingdom—regardless of who commits the act—is your fault. You are even responsible for unavoidable events such as earthquakes or storms."
"Or armies," Elend said.
Tindwyl nodded. "Or armies. It is your responsibility to deal with these things, and if something goes wrong, it is your fault. You simply have to accept this."
Elend nodded, picking up a book.
"Now, let's talk about guilt," Tindwyl said, seating herself. "Stop cleaning. That isn't a job for a king."
Elend sighed, setting down the book.
"Guilt," Tindwyl said, "does not become a king. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself."
"You just told me everything that happens in the kingdom is my fault!"
"It is."
"How can I not feel guilty, then?"
"You have to feel confident that your actions are the best," Tindwyl explained. "You have to know that no matter how bad things get, they would be worse without you. When disaster occurs, you take responsibility, but you don't wallow or mope. You aren't allowed that luxury; guilt is for lesser men. You simply need to do what is expected."
"And that is?"
"To make everything better."
"Great," Elend said flatly. "And if I fail?"
"Then you accept responsibility, and make everything better on the second try."
Elend rolled his eyes. "And what if I can't ever make things better? What if I'm really not the best man to be king?"
"Then you remove yourself from the position," Tindwyl said. "Suicide is the preferred method—assuming, of course, that you have an heir. A good king knows not to foul up the succession."
"Of course," Elend said. "So, you're saying I should just kill myself."
"No. I'm telling you to have pride in yourself, Your Majesty."
"That's not what it sounds like. Every day you tell me how poor a king I am, and how my people will suffer because of it! Tindwyl, I'm not the best man for this position. He got himself killed by the Lord Ruler."
"That is enough!" Tindwyl snapped. "Believe it or not, Your Majesty, you are the best person for this position."
Elend snorted.
"You are best," Tindwyl said, "because you hold the throne now. If there is anything worse than a mediocre king, it is chaos—which is what this kingdom would have if you hadn't taken the throne. The people on both sides, noblemen and skaa, accept you. They may not believe in you, but they accept you. Step down now—or even die accidentally—and there would be confusion, collapse, and destruction. Poorly trained or not, weak of character or not, mocked or not, you are all this country has. You are king, Elend Venture."
Elend paused. "I'm. . .not sure if you're making me feel any better about myself, Tindwyl."
"It's—"
Elend raised a hand. "Yes, I know. It's not about how I feel."
"You have no place for guilt. Accept that you're king, accept that you can do nothing constructive to change that, and accept responsibility. Whatever you do, be confident—for if you weren't here, there would be chaos."
Elend nodded.
"Arrogance, Your Majesty," Tindwyl said. "Successful leaders all share one common trait—they believe that they can do a better job than the alternatives. Humility is fine when considering your responsibility and duty, but when it comes time to make a decision, you must not question yourself."
"I'll try."
"Good," Tindwyl said. "Now, perhaps, we can move on to another matter. Tell me, why haven't you married that young girl?"
Elend frowned. Wasn't expecting that. . .. "That's a very personal question, Tindwyl."
"Good."
Elend deepened his frown, but she sat expectantly, watching him with one of her unrelenting stares.
"I don't know," Elend finally said, sitting back in his chair, sighing. "Vin isn't. . .like other women."
Tindwyl raised an eyebrow, her voice softening slightly. "I think that the more women you come to know, Your Majesty, the more you'll find that statement applies to all of them."
Elend nodded ruefully.
"Either way," Tindwyl said, "things are not well as they stand. I will not pry further into your relationship, but—as we've discussed—appearances are very important to a king. It isn't appropriate for you to be seen as having a mistress. I realize that sort of thing was common for imperial nobility. The skaa, however, want to see something better in you. Perhaps because many noblemen were so frivolous with their sexual lives, the skaa have always prized monogamy. They wish desperately for you to respect their values."
"They'll just have to be patient with us," Elend said. "I actually want to marry Vin, but she won't have it."
"Do you know why?"
Elend shook his head. "She. . .doesn't seem to make sense a lot of the time."
"Perhaps she isn't right for a man in your position."
Elend looked up sharply. "What does that mean?"
"Perhaps you need someone a little more refined," Tindwyl said. "I'm certain she's a fine bodyguard, but as a lady, she—"
"Stop," Elend snapped. "Vin is fine as she is."
Tindwyl smiled.
"What?" Elend demanded.
"I've insulted you all afternoon, Your Majesty, and you barely grew sullen. I mentioned your Mistborn in a mildly disparaging way, and now you're ready to throw me out."
"So?"
"So, you do love her?"
"Of course," Elend said. "I don't understand her, but yes. I love her."
Tindwyl nodded. "I apologize, then, Your Majesty. I had to be certain."
Elend frowned, relaxing in his chair slightly. "So, this was some kind of test, then? You wanted to see how I would react to your words about Vin?"
"You will always be tested by those you meet, Your Majesty. You might as well grow accustomed to it."
"But, why do you care about my relationship with Vin?"
"Love is not easy for kings, Your Majesty," Tindwyl said in an uncharacteristically kind voice. "You will find that your affection for the girl can cause far more trouble than any of the other things we've discussed."
"And that's a reason to give her up?" Elend asked stiffly.
"No," Tindwyl said. "No, I don't think so."
Elend paused, studying the stately Terriswoman with her square features and her stiff posture. "That. . .seems odd, coming from you. What about kingly duty and appearances?"
"We must make allowances for the occasional exception," Tindwyl said.
Interesting, Elend thought. He wouldn't have considered her the type to agree to any sort of "exceptions." Perhaps she's a little deeper than I've assumed.
"Now," Tindwyl said. "How are your training sessions going?"
Elend rubbed his sore arm. "All right, I suppose. But—"
He was interrupted by a knock at the door. Captain Demoux entered a moment later. "Your Majesty, a visitor has arrived from Lord Cett's army."
"A messenger?" Elend said, standing.
Demoux paused, looking a little embarrassed. "Well. . .sort of. She says she's Lord Cett's daughter, and she's come looking for Breeze."
He was born of a humble family, yet married the daughter of a king.
21
THE YOUNG WOMAN'S EXPENSIVE DRESS—light red silk with a shawl and lace sleeves—might have lent her an air of dignity, had she not scampered forward as soon as Breeze entered the room. Her light Western hair bouncing, she made a squeal of happiness as she threw her arms around Breeze's neck.
She was, perhaps, eighteen years old.
Elend glanced at Ham, who stood dumbfounded.
"Well, looks like you were right about Breeze and Cett's daughter," Elend whispered.
Ham shook his head. "I didn't think. . .I mean I joked, because it was Breeze, but I didn't expect to be right!"
Breeze, for his part, at least had the decency to look terribly uncomfortable in the young woman's arms. They stood inside the palace atrium, the same place where Elend had met with his father's messenger. Floor-to-ceiling windows let in the afternoon light, and a group of servants stood at one side of the room to wait on Elend's orders.
Breeze met Elend's eyes, blushing deeply. I don't think I've ever seen him do that before, Elend thought.
"My dear," Breeze said, clearing his throat, "perhaps you should introduce yourself to the king?"
The girl finally let go of Breeze. She stepped back, curtsying to Elend with a noblewoman's grace. She was a bit plump, her hair long after pre-Collapse fashion, and her cheeks were red with excitement. She was a cute thing, obviously well trained for the court—exactly the sort of girl that Elend had spent his youth trying to avoid.