He yawned and noticed the painting over the fireplace was crooked, so he got up to straighten it. When he stepped back to make sure it was straight, he felt a hunger pang and realized he didn’t have a thing to eat in the house. If there was one thing about Kenny he knew to be true, it was his appetite. The boy never stopped eating. How he managed to eat so much and never get fat amazed Evan. Even at Kenny’s age, Evan would have gained weight if he’d eaten that much.

But Evan was too tired to go shopping that evening, and he had a luncheon appointment with his agent on Friday he knew would take up most of the afternoon, so he figured he’d phone the grocery store and have a list of things delivered instead. They would probably order take-out tomorrow night—Kenny could eat an entire pizza himself—but at least there would be food in the apartment in case Kenny got hungry late at night.

He placed the order, and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he dried himself off, he shaved and put on a pair of white briefs. He’d figured it would take at least an hour to have the groceries delivered and he had plenty of time to get dressed.

But while he was arranging new white bath towels he’d purchased that week at Gracious Home, he heard a knock on the door and he glanced at his watch. It couldn’t have been more than forty minutes since he’d placed the order. He heard a louder knock and grabbed a white dress shirt hanging on a hook behind the bathroom door. He’d sent his robe out with the rest of his laundry, and the white shirt was long enough to cover everything. It was an old shirt that had once belonged to Jeffery, with frayed sleeves and tails that stopped at the middle of his thighs. He often slept in this shirt because it he felt so comfortable in it.

After another knock, he said, “I’ll be right there.” Then he buttoned the shirt and jogged to the door in his bare feet. On the way, he pulled cash out of his wallet for a tip. He felt a little lightheaded and blamed it on the combination of paint fumes and not eating enough that day.

He hadn’t planned on letting anyone inside. He would open the door partially, reach out and take the box of groceries, and hand the delivery person a tip. But when he opened the door, the delivery person pushed it forward before he had a chance to protest. He walked over to the dining table without glancing back at where Evan was hiding behind the door. Evan stood there speechless, watching the same red-headed delivery man he’d met the day he’d been discharged from Havilland walk across his apartment. He pulled the shirt down to make sure his underwear wasn’t exposed.

The guy set the box on the table and turned to face Evan. His eyes opened wider and he rubbed his chin. “Hey, dude,” he said. “Looks like you got caught with your pants down, man.” He was trying to make a joke, but joking didn’t come easily to him.

Evan felt his face grown warm. He smiled and pretended nothing was out of the ordinary. After all, guys walked around in their underwear all the time and no one made a fuss about it. He took a few steps forward and reached out with the five-dollar bill. “Thanks for carrying it in. This is for you. I told them to charge the order to Jeffery Charles.”

The red-headed guy ignored him. He looked him up and down again and said, “You look nice. I think you were expecting me.”

Evan rolled his eyes and laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself, buddy.” After that smug remark, his embarrassment turned into frustration. He hadn’t planned anything. This guy was new and Evan had only met him that one time. Besides, if he had planned on seducing the delivery man he would have at least dried his hair.

The guy walked up to him and said, “I don’t think so. Don’t be shy. It’s a little obvious, but it’s cute.”

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Evan stepped back and said, “I think you got the wrong idea. My son is moving in here full time tomorrow and this isn’t something I would do on purpose.” At least it wasn’t something Evan would have done on purpose sober. If he’d been drinking, he would have done something like this, and more. He probably would have opened the door stark naked and pulled the delivery guy into the apartment.

“You don’t look old enough to have a kid,” the guy said.

“We adopted him when he was seven,” Evan said. The guy was wearing faded jeans that hung low on his hips. His jacket was some kind of black shiny material and his black work boots had those thick nubby ridged soles. Evan noticed his large hands and his thick neck. He had a deep voice and spoke with a Bronx accent.

As the guy moved closer, Evan continued to step back. “I think you should leave now. You seem like a nice guy but I didn’t plan anything.” He knew he was smiling; he tried to stop. But there was something adorable about this guy he found hard to resist.

“I don’t think you want me to leave,” the guy said. He continued to smile.

When Evan’s back was to the wall next to the door, Evan pressed his palms to the guy’s chest and tried to push him. But his body was wide and solid, and Evan didn’t push too hard. “I’m going to be thirty years old. You can’t be older than twenty.”

The guy reached out and grabbed Evan by the waist. “I’m nineteen and as far as I know I’m legal. That’s not much of an age difference anyways. Besides, I like older dudes, especially older dudes with legs like yours.” His right hand went down and he started caressing Evan’s thigh.

Evan felt more like eighty years old. The way he’d said “anyways” made Evan cringe for a second. He tried pushing him one more time; he tried one last time explaining that he hadn’t planned to seduce him. When he was sober, Evan didn’t think that way and he never planned anything in advance—which tended to be part of his problem in life. But the guy continued to caress his thigh, which only made Evan’s voice grow weaker. Then he started to unbutton Evan’s shirt. Before Evan knew it, the white shirt was falling off his shoulders and the young guy was pulling down Evan’s underpants.

It all happened fast and Evan had no time to think about it. When he realized how attracted he was to this guy, he stopped talking, stopped making excuses, and submitted completely. Although he had sex with Jeffery often, this was the first time in a long time he’d had sex with another man while he hadn’t been drinking. It wasn’t cheating. Jeffery and Evan had an open marriage and Jeffery had been the one who’d wanted an open marriage. But more than that, this young red-headed guy with the scruffy beard and shiny black jacket had always been the kind of man Evan had fantasized about. He wasn’t by any means as attractive as Jeffery, at least not in a handsome refined way. This guy was stockier and rougher. His hands moved with sharp jerks in ways that made Evan breathe heavier. He spoke with poor grammar and didn’t seem to care. When he pulled the white shirt of Evan’s back and said, “You don’t need to do nothing but what I tell you to do,” Evan’s erection started to pulse.




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