I find myself drawn to Elliott then, like a string connects our hearts and that string is coiling tighter and tighter, drawing me closer and closer to him. I realize that I’m seeing Elliott at his best and the ironic part is that he isn’t even doing this in show. This is genuinely who he is. As far as he’s concerned, no one knows what he’s doing and that melts away one of the protective layers I’ve so carefully built around my heart.
It clamors in that instant and I begin to daydream what it would be like to run my fingers through his hair and hold his face in my hands. If I could, I would let him know just what I think of what he’s doing. Perhaps I’d do just that with a kiss. What would that be li....
“Boo,” I hear from behind me.
I jump and shriek. Everyone’s eyes turn my way. I can’t see Elliott but I’m more than positive he and Karen are looking our direction, as curious as the rest of the store’s patrons are. I hit Sawyer.
“Sawyer!” I whisper yell.
“Julia!” He mocks, holding his gut in laughter. “What the heck are you doing?”
I start laughing with him.
“Nothing. I’m just a big buffoon. Hanging on the end cap like an overgrown monkey.”
“Oh, is that why you were dragging your knuckles on the ground outside?”
I hit him once more and start laughing again.
“What are you looking at?” He asks, trying to peek over my shoulder at the checkout lines.
“Nothing. Nothing,” I say, pushing him towards Dairy.
“Uh, huh.”
“Seriously Sawyer. Stop.”
“Alright, alright.”
“My early man poses are just between you and me. Agreed?”
“Alright but it’ll cost ya’.”
“Yeah, yeah. Put it on my tab.”
“Where’s your bell pepper?” He asks studying my empty hands.
“Uh, I haven’t gotten it yet,” I say, shoving my hands in the back pockets of my jeans.
“Where’s your list?”
I square my shoulders, “In my pocket.”
He raises an eyebrow, “Alright, let me see it.”
I sigh in frustration and slump down in defeat.
“Okay, there’s no list. I was trying to avoid someone.”
He raises another eyebrow, “The same someone you were trying to avoid in French?”
I don’t answer.
“You do know that to avoid someone you must steer away from them right? Following them around is clearly not avoiding them, just thought you should be aware of the rules of avoidance because I’m pretty sure you’re doing it wrong.”
“Okay. You’ve had your fun. Now scoot.”
“See you around Julia Jacobs!” He yells as loud as he can.
“Sawyer!” I grit through teeth and push him further away from Elliott. “Shut up. He’ll hear you.”
“He? Well, well. It’ll cost ya’ indeed! See you tomorrow stalker.”
“Bye Tut.”
He frowns but I can’t tell if he’s angry, hurt, or playing around. Either way I don’t have time for it because I’ve been gone half an hour for a simple bell pepper and my mom is going to flip when I walk through the door. Her dish will be ruined now. Yikes.
The next day, I spot Elliott on my street after school. While passing my living room window I am pulled back into my previous step. Elliott Gray is standing in Ezra Colston’s yard just staring in my direction. I hit the floor like a soldier and belly crawl to the window, peeling two blades of the shutter open. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Wait, chill Julia. I lean into the window. What is he doing? Does he even know Ezra? I pause, noticing Elliott in all his glory. My God he is a fine specimen. Hooah! He wore a pair of faded jeans and a long sleeved black t-shirt with the sleeves pushed up. The wind picked up his hair and dragged it across his perfect face. He ran both his hands through his hair to control it and the muscles in his forearms flexed, sending me into a frenzy. Jeez. Get a grip Julia.
Elliott turned toward the Colston's front door. Ezra Colston got into an auto accident his senior year and broke his back. He barely finished high school and has been confined to a wheel chair for the past two years. His friends used to come around a lot but when they all went their separate ways to college, Ezra was sort of left on his own. He attends classes at the local community college and plans on transferring to university as soon as his lengthy rehabilitation is over. He can’t live on his own right now because of it and is forced to bide his time at home until then. At first, Ezra was sort of lonely I think, but then last year nineteen year old Delphine moved across the street and now I’m not so sure he regrets living at home.
He loves her. She loves him. But she’s stupid and won’t take a chance, too scared to let him make the first move. Dunce.
Hypocrite.
What? Who said that?
I visit Ezra once a week but he’s never mentioned Elliott to me. I start to think he’s using Ezra as an excuse to see me but when Ezra opens his door Elliott hugs him and they do this secret handshake thing that makes me think otherwise. Hmm. They stand on his porch and joke and laugh for what seems like forever.
Ezra points my direction and Elliott drags his hand back down which sends a secret thrill through me, though I'd never say it out loud. Ezra starts laughing and Elliott jokingly wheels Ezra’s chair into the house. You surprise me Elliott Gray. I still suspect that Elliott is using Ezra for information despite their obvious friendship and decide to wait him out but I fall asleep on my mom’s stiff sofa instead. My dad wakes me for dinner.
“What are you doing sweetheart?”
“I’m on a stake out.”
“Oh, okay,” he says, comfortable with my idiosyncrasies.
I gaze out the window and Elliott’s truck is still there. Huh. I decide I’m going to go to Ezra’s after dinner only if Elliott’s out of there. I stuff my face much to the dismay of my mother and run back to the window to see Elliott’s truck gone. Yes! And no? Get it together Julia. I dash out the front door and march up Ezra’s porch.
I pound on the frame of the screen door, “Ezra! Open up Ez!”
“What the bloody heck are you doing creature?”
Ezra’s like the brother I never had. I annoy him, he annoys me, but we'd do anything for each other.
“Why was Elliott Gray at your house all afternoon?”
“Because he’s my friend,” he says, a small smile twists up the side of his mouth.
“How come I’ve never seen him here before?”
“Maybe because you’re blind? I don’t know. He comes here like twice a week Julia. We hang out and stuff. He’s cool. Why? You like him?” An eyebrow raised.
Immediately, I’m on the defensive, “No!”
“Doesn’t appear that way to me girly. You’re all flustered and red in the face. Looks like you’re ready to huff and puff and blow my house down.”
“Ezra Colston! What are you talking about?”
“Go home, look in the mirror Julia. You’re smitten with Elliott Gray. Boy, that is hilarious. Never thought I’d see the day that Julia Jacobs was a smitten kitten! Kind of always pegged you for a panther myself but heck I’ve been wrong before.”
“I am not! I am not as you say a smitten kitten! I’m.....I’m....” Doing a fantastic job of defending myself?
“Alright Julia, whatever you say,” he says closing the door.
I heard him chuckling through it and marched myself back over to my parents’ home. I stop in the foyer and glance in the mirror. Darn. He’s right. I am a smitten kitten. Can makeup fix this?
Thursday proves rather difficult at school. Now that Sawyer is on to me he’s paying very close attention to everything I do.
Friday rolls around and to be perfectly honest, I was exhausted. Between avoiding Elliott, wanting to find Elliott, wanting Elliott to find me, avoiding Sawyer, listening to Ezra taunt me about how Elliott and I are sitting in a supposed tree, school, homework, and parents I’ve had enough. I’m glad to have the week over with and plan a visit to Koan’s, my favorite indie book store in Charleston. I want to load up on books and camp in my room until school starts back up the following Monday; a little mini-vacay from my impossible life. No more Elliott. No more obsessing.
Koan’s is amazing. Only the hippest cats in town know about it. Okay, that’s sort of a stupid thing to say about a bookstore but let’s just say it’s off the beaten path. I head in and inhale the sharp smells of fresh ink. The earthy smell of paper permeates the air around me and I close my eyes for just a moment enjoying the temporary escape. I greedily finger the display piles and run my palms over the covers. If I were wealthy, I’d swim in a pile of books. I wouldn’t even mind the paper cuts. Nothing like them in the entire world, books that is, not paper cuts. They truly are like nothing in the entire world; that’s not necessarily true but you get what I mean.
I’m surrounded by university students and a few professor-types. Chuck, the cashier waves at me. His name isn’t really Chuck. I just call him that because he’s got these kick-butt bright red Converse he always wears.
“What’s new Chuck?”
“Not much, got the new Stefanie Conrad in. I saved you a copy.”
“Chuck, you know the way to this girl’s heart,” I said, feigning a light head.
“Snoop around. I’ll get it for you when I get rid of this line.”
I wink. It’s gonna’ be a good day. I hum a little ditty under my breath and scan the titles of each aisle while I wait for Chuck. I wonder into the self-help section and almost trip over myself. I absently trail my fingers along the titles, praying there would be one that read ‘You’re insane Julia Jacobs. Stop obsessing about Elliott Gray’ or ‘He’s just a normal boy dummy, a surprisingly kind and sweet boy who just happens to share literal electricity with you but that’s nothing to get so worked up about’. There wasn’t, but there was one ironically titled ‘Getting over the one you’re obsessed with’. I laugh out loud and get a few shushes. I almost pick it up but meander over to the Fantasy section instead. I pick up a random book and start reading the first chapter.
My head picks up when I hear the jingle of the door. Someone just left. My heart tingles slightly but I shrug it off. I take the book I’m reading over to the checkout line when Chuck waves me over with Stefanie’s new book in hand. I stand there waiting for my turn when I hear the door jingle again. I look up and suck in a breath. Elliott. My eyes widen then narrow, trying to figure out if he’s been near me that entire time, if he was the reason my chest ached. My heart tingles yet again. I lock eyes with him.
Elliott trips over a chair. His face and neck turn a brilliant red and I feel so sorry for him. The girl in front of me laughs. That infuriates me. I fight the urge to pull her hair. Violent. Why so violent? That’s not like me. He yanks his coat from a chair and storms toward the door without so much as a second glance. My heart aches for him, cries for him.