Lila was dressed as if leaving on vacation, in dark leggings paired with a crisply-starched, long-tailed shirt. A brightly colored silk scarf lay over her shoulders. She'd washed her face and brushed her hair, and was even wearing earrings and a bit of makeup. The sight of her made Grey realize how dirty he was. He hadn't washed in days; probably he didn't smell the best.
"Maybe I should clean up a bit."
Lila directed him to the bathroom at the head of the stairs, where she'd already laid out a change of clothes for him, neatly folded on the toilet seat. A brand-new toothbrush, still in its wrapper, and a tube of Colgate rested on the vanity beside a jug of water. Grey peeled off his jumpsuit and washed his face and splashed his armpits, then brushed his teeth, facing the broad mirror. He hadn't looked at his reflection since the Red Roof, and it still came as a shock, how young he looked-skin clear and taut, hair growing lushly over his scalp, eyes radiating a jewel-like glitter. He looked like he'd lost a lot of weight, too-not surprising, since he'd eaten nothing in two days, but the degree to which this had occurred, both in quantity and kind, was startling. He wasn't just thinner; it was as if his body had rearranged itself. Turning to the side, holding his gaze on his reflection, he ran a hand experimentally over his belly. He'd always run on the chubby side; now he could discern the taut outline of muscles. From there it was a small step to flexing his arms, like a kid admiring himself. Well, look at that, he thought. Actual biceps. God damn.
He put on the clothing Lila had left for him-white boxers, a pair of jeans, and a checked sport shirt-discovering, to his continued amazement, that it all fit rather well. He took one last look at himself in the mirror and descended the stairs to the living room, where he found Lila sitting on the sofa, paging through a People magazine.
"Well, there you are." She regarded him up and down, smiling in her airy way. "Don't you look nice."
He wheeled the suitcases to the Volvo. The morning air was weighted with dew; birds were singing in the trees. As if the two of them were just taking a drive in the country, Grey thought, shaking his head. Yet as he stood in the driveway wearing another man's clothes, this almost seemed true. It was as if he had stepped into a different life-the life, perhaps, of the man whose jeans and sport shirt now graced his newly slender, muscled body. He took a deep sniff, expanding his chest. The air felt fresh and clean in his lungs, full of scent. Grass, and new green leaves, and damp earth. It seemed to contain no trace of the terrors of the night before, as if the light of day had cleansed the world.
He sealed the hatch and looked up to see Lila standing at the front door. She turned the lock, then removed something from her purse: an envelope. She withdrew a roll of masking tape from her purse and taped the envelope to the door, standing back to look at it. A letter? Grey thought. Who would it be for? David? Brad? One of these, probably, but Grey still had no idea who was who. The two seemed virtually interchangeable in Lila's mind.
"There," she announced. "All set." At the Volvo, she handed him the keys. "Would it be all right if you drove?"
And Grey liked that, too.
Grey decided it would be best to stay off the main roads, at least until they were out of the city. Though this fact was unstated, it also seemed part of his agreement with Lila that he should avoid passing the sorts of things that might upset her. This turned out not to matter: the woman barely looked up from her magazine. He picked his way through the suburbs; by midmorning, they were in a parched, rolling land of empty fields the color of burnt toast, moving east on a rural blacktop. The city faded away behind them, followed by the blue bulk of the Rockies, vaporizing in the haze. The scene around them possessed a barren, forgotten quality-just a scrim of feathery clouds high overhead, and the dry fields, and the highway unspooling under the Volvo's wheels. Eventually Lila gave up her reading and fell asleep.
The oddness of the situation was inarguable, yet as the miles and hours passed, Grey felt a swelling rightness in his chest. Never in his life had he really mattered to anyone. He searched his mind for something, anything to compare the feeling to. The only thing he could come up with was the story of Joseph and Mary and the flight into Egypt-a boyhood memory, because Grey hadn't been to church in years. Joseph had always seemed like an odd duck, taking care of a woman who was carrying somebody else's baby. But Grey was beginning to see the sense in it, how a person could become attached just by being wanted.
And the thing was, Grey liked women; he always had. The other thing, with the boys, was different. It wasn't about what he liked or didn't like but what he had to do, because of his past and the things that had been done to him. That was how Wilder, the prison shrink, had explained it. The boys were a compulsion, Wilder told him, Grey's way of returning to the moment of his own abuse, to reenact it and, in so doing, seek to understand it. Grey no more decided to touch the boys than he decided to scratch an itch. A lot of what Wilder said sounded like bullshit to Grey, but not that part, and it made him feel a little better, knowing he wasn't entirely at fault. Not that it let him off the hook any; Grey had beaten himself up plenty. He'd actually felt relieved when they sent him away. The Old Grey-the one who'd found himself lingering on the edges of playgrounds and cruising slowly past the junior high at three o'clock and dragging his feet in the locker room at the community swimming pool on summer afternoons-that Grey was nobody he ever wanted to know again.
His mind returned to the hug in the kitchen. It wasn't a boy-girl thing, Grey knew that, but it wasn't nothing either. It made Grey think of Nora Chung, the one girl he'd dated in high school. She hadn't been a girlfriend, exactly; they'd never actually done anything. The two of them were in the band together-for a brief period, Grey had gotten it in his head to play the trumpet-and sometimes after practice Grey would walk her home, the two of them not even touching, though something about those walks made him feel for the first time that he wasn't alone on the earth. He wanted to kiss her, but he'd never summoned the courage; eventually she'd drifted away. Curious that Grey should remember her now. He hadn't so much as thought her name in twenty years.
By noon, they were approaching the Kansas border. Lila was still sleeping. Grey himself had lapsed into a half-dream state, barely paying attention to the road. He'd managed to avoid towns of any considerable size, but this couldn't last; they'd need gas soon. Ahead he saw a water tower poking from the plain.
The town was named Kingwood-just a short, dusty main street, half the store windows papered over, and a few blocks of dismal houses on either side. It looked harmlessly abandoned; the only evidence that anything had happened was an ambulance parked in front of the fire station with its rear doors hanging open. And yet Grey sensed something, a tingling at his extremities, as if their progress was being observed from the shadows. He cruised the length of the town, finally coming to a filling station on its eastern edge, an off-brand place called Frankie's.
Lila stirred when Grey shut the engine off. "Where are we?"
"Kansas."
She yawned, squinting through the windshield at the desolate town. "Why are we stopping?"
"We need gas. I'll just be a sec."
Grey tried the pump, but no dice: the power was off. He'd have to siphon some off somehow, but for that he'd need a length of hose and a can. He stepped into the office. A battered metal desk, covered with stacks of paper, stood by the front window; an old office chair rested behind it, rocked back on its hinges, giving the ghostly impression of having only recently been vacated. He moved through the door that led to the service bays, a cool, dark space that smelled of oil. A Cadillac Seville, late-'90s vintage, was perched on one of the lifts; the second bay was occupied by a Chevy 4×4 with a jacked-up suspension and fat, mud-choked tires. Resting on the floor was a five-gallon gas can; on one of the workbenches, Grey located a length of hose. He severed off a six-foot section, slid one end into the 4×4's fuel port, drew in a sip that he spat away, and began to siphon gas into the can.
The can was nearly full when he heard a scuffling above his head. Every nerve in his body fired simultaneously, clenching him in place.
Slowly he lifted his face.
The creature was suspended from one of the ceiling beams, hanging upside down with its knees folded over the strut like a kid on monkey bars. It was smaller than Zero, more human-seeming. As their eyes locked, Grey's heart froze between beats. From deep inside the creature's throat came a trilling sound.
You don't have to be afraid, Grey.
What the f**k?
His feet tangled under him as he lurched backward, sending him pitching to the hard concrete. He snatched the gas can off the floor, fuel still gushing from the siphon, and charged from the service bay into the office and out the door. Lila was standing with her back braced against the car.
"Get in," he said breathlessly.
"You didn't notice if they had a vending machine inside? I'd really like to get a candy bar or something."
"Damn it, Lila, get in the car." Grey threw open the Volvo's hatch, tossed the can inside, and slammed it closed. "We have to go right now."
The woman sighed. "Fine, whatever you say. I don't see why you have to be so rude about it."
They raced away. Only when they were a mile from town did Grey's pulse begin to slow. He let the Volvo coast to a stop, threw the door open, and stumbled from the car. Standing at the side of the road, he placed his hands on his knees, breathing in huge gulps of air. Jesus, it was like the thing had spoken to him. Like those clicks were a foreign language he could understand. It even knew his name. How did it know his name?
He felt Lila's hand on his shoulder. "Lawrence, you're bleeding."
He was. His elbow looked ripped open, a flap of skin dangling. He must have done it in the fall, although he'd felt nothing.
"Let me look."
Wearing an expression of intense concentration, Lila gently probed the edges with her fingertips. "How did it happen?"
"I guess I tripped."
"You should have said something. Can you move it?"
"I think so, yeah."
"Wait here," Lila commanded. "Don't touch it."
She opened the hatch of the Volvo and began to rummage through her suitcase. She removed a metal box and a bottle of water and dropped the tailgate.
"Let's sit you down."
Grey positioned himself on the tailgate. Lila opened the box: a medical kit. She rubbed a dab of Purell into her hands, removed a pair of latex gloves, snapped them onto her hands, and took his arm again.
"Do you have any history of excessive bleeding?" she asked.
"I don't think so."
"Hepatitis, HIV, anything like that?"
Grey shook his head.
"How about your last tetanus shot? Can you remember when that was?"
What Lila was this? Who was Grey seeing? Not the lost woman of the Home Depot, or the defeated soul in the kitchen; this was someone new. A third Lila, full of efficiency and competence.
"Not since I was a kid."
Lila took another moment to examine the wound. "Well, it's a nasty gash. I'm going to have to suture it."
"You mean like ... stitches?"
"Trust me, I've done it a million times."
She swabbed the wound with alcohol, removed a disposable syringe from the box, filled it from a tiny vial, and tapped the needle with her forefinger.
"Just a little something to numb you up. You won't feel a thing, I promise."
The prick of the needle and in just a few seconds, Grey's pain melted away. Lila unfolded a cloth onto the tailgate, laying out a pair of forceps, a spool of dark thread, and a tiny scissors.
"You can watch if you want, but most people prefer to look away."
He felt a series of tiny tugs but that was all. Moments later, he looked down to see the gash and its flap of skin replaced by a tight black line. Lila spread ointment over it, then dressed it with a bandage.
"The stitches should dissolve in a couple of days," she said as she was snapping off her gloves. "It may be a little itchy, but you can't scratch it. Just leave it alone."
"How did you know how to do that?" Grey asked. "Are you a nurse or something?"
The question appeared to catch her short. Her mouth opened like she was about to say something; then she closed it again.
"Lila? Are you okay?"
She was sealing up the kit. She returned her supplies to the Volvo and closed the hatch.
"We better be going, don't you think?"
Just like that, the woman who'd stitched his arm was gone, the moment of her emergence erased. Grey wanted to ask her more but knew what would happen if he did. The pact between them was clear: only certain things could be said.
"Do you want me to drive?" Lila asked. "It's probably my turn."
The question wasn't really a question, Grey understood. It was the natural thing to ask, just as it was his job to decline the offer. "No, I can do it."
They got back in the Volvo. As Grey put the car in gear, Lila took up her magazine from the floor.
"If it's all right with you, I think I'm going to read a bit."
A hundred and twelve miles to the north, traveling east on Interstate 76, Kittridge had also begun to worry about fuel. The bus had been full when they'd started; now they were down to a quarter tank.
With a few minor detours, they'd managed to stay on the highway since Fort Morgan. Lulled by the motion of the bus, April and her brother had fallen asleep. Danny whistled through his teeth while he drove-the tune was nothing Kittridge recognized-gamely spinning the wheel and working the brakes and gas, hat tipped to his brow, his face and posture as erect as that of a sea captain facing down a gale.