“Yes,” she confirmed. “This is his last year. He’ll probably take some time off and then look into getting a coaching position.”
I placed my hand on her knee. “Do this for me, Felicia—enjoy this year. It’s going to be so unlike anything you’ve ever done or experienced.” I smiled. “You’re going to be fine. Everyone will love you. Jackson most of all.”
Her eyes teared up, and she pulled me into a hug. “Thank you.”
Our last night as neighbors.
The thought resounded over and over in my head. It seemed so surreal. How was it possible that our lives would be changing so much in such a short amount of time?
I pulled back and smoothed her hair down. “Now, you really need to get some sleep. We can’t have tired eyes for pictures tomorrow.”
I meant it to be funny, wanting to lighten the mood a bit, but Felicia didn’t smile. Her expression was serious as she looked in my eyes.
“I told you I didn’t want to know the details of how you and Nathaniel work,” she said. “And I still don’t. You’re so happy lately.” She took a deep breath. “But I still need to know . . .”
“Need to know?” I questioned, a hint of dread working its way into my voice.
“That day you left him, you said he finally kissed you.” She got that much out and then stopped, biting her lip as if afraid to finish.
“Yes?” I asked, still not entirely comfortable with where this was going, but sensing it was important to her.
“Does he now?” she asked, nearly pleading. “Does he kiss you on the weekdays and on the weekends? It’s stupid, I know, and I’m not sure why it matters, but if he does, I’ll feel so much better. Does he?”
I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. The answer must have been obvious, because I saw her own smile before I answered the question.
“Yes, Felicia,” I said. “Yes. He kisses me on weekdays and on weekends, and yes. I’m very, very happy.”
Saturday was a blur. Felicia and I were in constant motion from the moment we woke up, so I didn’t have much time to think about how different the day was from my normal Saturday.
I laughed.
Normal Saturday.
Since when had my Saturdays ever been normal?
“Are you laughing, Abby?” Felicia asked. “Fill me in on the joke. I could use a laugh.”
We were in one of Elaina and Todd’s guest rooms, and a stylist was fixing Felicia’s hair in an elegant upsweep. My hair was complete, I was dressed, and—looking at the clock by the bed—showtime would commence at six o’clock. A little more than two hours.
I glanced back at Felicia. “It was nothing. Just talking with myself.”
“Well, then, run downstairs and grab me a few grapes, would you?” she asked. “I think I could eat grapes without making a . . . Ow!” She looked up at the woman combing out her hair. “Watch it—I’d like to have some hair left when you finish.”
Yes, grabbing a few grapes for Felicia sounded like a great idea. I loved her and everything, but she was driving me, and everyone else, just the tiniest bit crazy.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, dodging past her gown hanging from the dress form and heading for the door.
“I suppose I’ll still be here.”
I hurried down the stairs, holding my dress up so I wouldn’t step on it. I didn’t want to put my shoes on until absolutely necessary. Once I made it downstairs, I looked around for Nathaniel. I knew he was in the house somewhere—I’d spied his car from the upstairs window—but I hadn’t seen him yet.
Oh, well. In two hours, he’d be in the backyard, standing by his cousin’s side. If nothing else, I’d see him then. I stepped into the kitchen, careful of the caterer and her crew, and made it to the center island, where a casual buffet of finger foods was prepared for the wedding party and family.
I scanned the table. Grapes, grapes, grapes. Surely, there were grapes. Felicia wouldn’t have asked for them otherwise, right?
A large hand cupped my bare left shoulder seconds before a pair of warm lips placed an openmouthed kiss at the nape of my neck.
“My God,” Nathaniel said against my skin. “Look at you.”
Every nerve I had tensed, and a wave of unfulfilled longing shot through my body.
“Mmm,” I said, leaning back in to him while his arms came around me and his lips continued their exploration of my back.
“I’ve been trying to make it upstairs to you all day,” he said, his breath tickling my ear, his hands meandering around my waist, drawing me close. Elaina had kept the men sequestered in the downstairs part of the house, while the women stayed upstairs. “Between Jackson, Todd, and Linda, I haven’t had the opportunity to slip away.”
I nearly moaned as his lips found the spot right where my neck met my spine.
“How fortunate I took the matter into my own hands and came downstairs when I did,” I said.
He turned me around and looked at me with dark eyes. “How fortunate indeed,” he said, and bent to give me a soft kiss. But I’d been without him most of the week and wanted nothing to do with soft.
“That all you got?” I teased.
He leaned close and whispered in my ear, “When I get you home, I’ll show you exactly what I’ve got. The question is, do you want me to show you hard and fast or soft and slow?”
“Both,” I said, stepping closer to him. “I’ll take hard and fast first, followed by soft and slow next.” I ran a hand under his jacket, teasing his chest. “Or maybe, if you’re up to it—”
“Fuck, Abby. I’m always up for it.”
His lips crushed mine, and I whimpered as his tongue made its way into my mouth. His taste. Damn, I’d missed his taste. I grabbed his lapels and pulled him closer, feeling his erection as he pressed against me. I moaned.
Someone beside us discreetly coughed.
Fuckity, f**k, f**k.
Nathaniel pulled back, and I dropped my head to his chest, hands still clutching the material of his jacket, trying to get my breathing back to normal.
His voice was dry and emotionless when he spoke again. “Melanie.”
My head shot up, and I looked directly at the lovely woman standing next to the table.
“You seem to have the most peculiar habit of showing up at just the—” Nathaniel started.
I jumped in between the two of them, releasing Nathaniel’s jacket. “It’s good to see you again.”
I said it because it was the sort of thing you said when faced with a person to whom you had nothing else to say. I watched her for a few seconds as she regarded us. She was really quite lovely, with her hair just right and her cocktail dress displaying her elegant frame to her advantage.
It hit me then how very strange it was to be standing next to Nathaniel while we addressed his ex-girlfriend. He had kissed those perfectly made-up lips, had held her and made love to her, long before he’ d ever kissed or held me. Even though he’ d ended up leaving her, I felt just a little jealous.
You’re being stupid, I told myself. What was it he’d said to me last weekend? It’s you. It’s always been you.
I looked at Melanie and knew, deep within the recesses of my soul, that it had never been her, and that made me feel better.
“Abby,” she said, holding out her hand. “It’s good to see you as well.”
I looked up at Nathaniel and saw that he was watching her. I wondered what he was thinking. Melanie’s gaze dropped to my neck as we shook hands, and I saw a flicker of surprise cross her expression before she managed to cover it up.
Well, well, well. While Melanie had not been shocked at finding Nathaniel and me together, she was surprised by my bare neck. However, if I wasn’t going to spill the details of us to my best friend, I sure as hell wasn’t going to share them with his ex-girlfriend.
“Can we help you with something?” Nathaniel asked.
His voice was still dry and somewhat emotionless, and I wondered if he always talked that way to her. Had he used that tone of voice for the entirety of their relationship? Or had it come later, when he placed upon himself all the needless guilt of not measuring up to her expectations?
In that moment, I couldn’t decide if I should love Melanie for not being what he needed—forcing him, if you will, to find a new submissive, namely me—or hate her for all the pain and shame he had felt for needing to find a new submissive.
Bygones, I decided. Let them be.
“Mom and I went upstairs to see Linda,” Melanie said. “Felicia mentioned something about grapes. She said Abby was going to get them but had been gone forever.”
“I’ve been gone for five minutes, tops.” I rolled my eyes. “Brides,” I added under my breath.
Nathaniel laughed. “And here Felicia and I were getting along so well. She’ll never forgive me for holding up her grapes.” He turned to me. “Take the grapes on up to Felicia, Abby. I need to get back to Jackson anyway.” He cupped my face gently. “You look stunning.” He leaned close and whispered so Melanie couldn’t hear, “And later tonight, I’ll be up for everything your heart, or body, desires.”
He kissed me once, quickly on the lips, gave a short nod and a crisp, “Melanie,” and was gone.
Melanie looked the littlest bit ashamed. “I’m really sorry,” she said. “But I couldn’t get to the grapes and I felt bad interrupting, but . . .” She shook her head.
“It’s not a big deal,” I assured her, taking a napkin and looking once more for the grapes. “I did tell Felicia I’d get the grapes for her.”
“Let’s look here,” she said, lifting the cover off a bowl, exposing the contained fruit inside.
I smiled at the woman whose relationship with Nathaniel had haunted me for so long. All the days I’d spent upset that he had kissed her. The shock and dismay I’d felt when Elaina told me she had never been his submissive. Even the anger I’d felt as Nathaniel relegated his so-called failure with her. I placed the grapes into my waiting napkin and realized all I felt for her now was a faint sort of kindness.
Two hours later, I made my way down the makeshift aisle in Elaina and Todd’s backyard. I hated being the center of attention in any way, and for the first few minutes, all I thought about was all the people watching me.
That ended as soon as I looked up to the front and noticed Nathaniel. I’d not had a chance to fully appreciate him earlier. When he pulled me to him, he’d been too close for me to get a good look at just how impressive he appeared. Walking down the aisle, I took it all in—the way his tuxedo hung just so on his shoulders, how the black in his jacket contrasted the deep green of his eyes, the way his pants brushed the tops of his shoes, and his hair, as always, in the disarray I loved so much.
It was as if his gaze and his gaze alone drew me forward. I almost felt the heat coming from his expression and wondered, in some offhanded way, if anyone else noticed. At that moment, it didn’t seem so crazy to think he’d one day be waiting for me at a different altar, at a different time, for an oh so very similar reason. The thought made me smile.
You are breathtaking, he mouthed once I reached the altar.
You’re one to talk, I mouthed back.
He shook his head in disbelief and, somewhere in the background, the soft strands of a harp began to play.
I noticed Felicia had made it to the front only when she blocked my view of Nathaniel. I mentally scolded myself for not paying closer attention. How embarrassing if anyone realized my focus rested on the best man, not the bride, and I resolved to do better.
But as the minister welcomed everyone and Felicia and Jackson exchanged the vows that would bind them together forever, my mind wandered back to Nathaniel. Our gazes met, and I smiled again.