And when I leave the room, he scarcely takes notice.
Grandmama sits in her chair, her fingers busy with her needlework, while I try to make a house of cards.
“I was very upset with your behavior this afternoon, Gemma. What if you had been seen by someone we know? There is your reputation—and ours—to think of.”
I drop a card onto the square I’ve built. “Isn’t there more to be concerned about than what others think of us?”
“A woman’s reputation is her worth,” Grandmama explains.
“It’s a small way to live.” I drop a queen of hearts on top. The card walls shiver and collapse under the new weight.
“I don’t know why I bother,” she sniffs. Her stitching picks up new, furious speed. When she can’t bring me to heel with scolding, she bends me into shape with guilt.
I try arranging the cards again, perfecting my balancing act.
“Stay,” I whisper. I place the last card on top and wait.
“Is that all you have to occupy your time? Card houses?” Grandmama sneers.
I sigh, and the tiny gust of breath tears down my work. The cards flutter into a messy pile. I’m in no humor for this. The afternoon’s events were upsetting enough, and if I cannot have comfort, I should like some peace. A little magic can remove her disappointment and my own.
“You’ll forget everything that happened today after we left the dressmaker’s shop, Grandmama. I am your beloved granddaughter, and we are happy, all of us…,” I intone.
Grandmama looks helplessly at the needlework in her lap. “I…I’ve forgotten my stitch.”
“Here, I’ll help you,” I say, guiding her hands till she picks it up again.
“Ah, me. Thank you, Gemma. You are such a comfort to me. What would I do without you?”
Grandmama smiles, and I do my best to return it, though somewhere deep inside I wonder if I have traded one life of lies for another.
A terrible knocking has me awake and not at all happy about it. Rubbing sleep from my eyes, I creep downstairs. It’s Tom who is making such a racket. He’s returned in a lively mood; in fact, he enters the drawing room singing. It is an unnatural occurrence, like watching a dog ride a bicycle.
“Gemma!” he says happily. “You’re awake!”